Reply from NUS

Application status

The general stages for the application status are
Application received --> Application processing --> Outcome of application

Your current status is Admission denied.

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:) This is going to be interesting. I'm pretty down right now. I dunno, I'd rather not blog. Guess I'll have to consider my other options now. Oh my... I've reached the end.

come back soon?

I miss you much.



come back soon. please?

Life's a game. Roll on!

Sometimes you feel like you have no control over things. sometimes u feel that life is jus a game that u can't plan or arrange. That your next move is just as simple as a roll of the dice yet whatever square you land on can have dire consequences. You sometimes land on 'Chance' and an oppotunity knocks at your door. Or you land on 'Go to Jail' and have to face the music for a 'crime' u might have committed. You can't predict your next move, you can't plan ahead. All you do is roll the dice. turn after turn.

Sometimes we feel that way don't we? Sometimes I do. Sometimes i feel like i've got no control. i feel toyed? played around with and forced to make a decision or plan my next steps based on what square i land on.

But it's that the whole point? that all we CAN do is leave it up to the game master. the one who has all the 'game' planned out. the one who knows the start and the end and knows that whatever square you land on, it's for His plan and purpose. And though we feel toyed, it's coz we dun see the end goal, the finality of it all. The 'Pass Go and collect $200' sign. We just see the situation we're in.
So now, let me ask u and myself.. issit that hard to play a game knowing that the game master's your Heavenly Father who loves you? well, yes it is. but it's not impossible. trust.

easier said than done huh? Well, guess wad. You rolled a double 6. you get another roll.

Reply from SMU

Your application was not successful. Unfortunately, we received many more applications than there are places.We will be notifying you in writing shortly. Thank you for your interest in SMU.

:) 2 down. NUS left.

Reply from NTU

Dear Mr Tan

APPLICATION FOR ADMISSION TO NANYANG TECHNOLOGICAL UNIVERSITY IN ACADEMIC YEAR 2008-09

Thank you for your application and your interest in studying at our university.

We appreciate the time and effort you took in applying to us. Each application we receive has its merits. With the record number of applications we received this year, competition for limited places has been very strong.

We have reviewed your application thoroughly but regret to inform you that you have not been successful in your application. We assure you that the University Selection Committee had considered your application to the fullest extent before arriving at this difficult decision.

With best wishe... blahblah [not impt liao]

Yuppers. Glad that finally I got a reply. At least i've cleared one uni out of the way. 2 more to go. Thank God that He's closing doors and stuff coz really, it's harder to decide when everything's open. And He does make His plan clearer for me. :) I'm happy that at least the first to reply was NTU... the one i had no hope of getting into anyways. so there's still hope for the other 2. :) Let's jus wait and see what happens la. Whatever it is, I love God.

'if we win, we praise Him; and if we lose we praise Him. Either way. We honor Him with our actions and our attitudes.' - Facing the Giants.

p.s. please do not send 'i hope you're ok' smses or tags or what. Honestly, I'm FINE! So please... frankly it's irritating to get pity-messages. :)

Email from NUS... false alarm

I got an email today from NUS. once i saw it in my inbox i flew downstairs to call my parents... mum followed me to my room to open the email. and it was a super stupid false alarm.

Some dumb survey they wanted me to do to see how well their admissions campaigning exercise went. WAH LAU... i seriously thot i finally got a reply.

haiz... whatever man... praying God will just help me accept whatever comes.

Today, met up with Y.S and Mel. very interesting discussions we had... Got me thinking quite a bit. I pray I'll stay close to God as I continue to grow... it's a scary world out there and I realized today how much I didn't wanna lose God. haiz. praying hard for me, frens and those who need God.

Disappointed with Studies taking top priority

I guess people will always let you down and disappoint you won't they? Simple things can seem so.. obvious yet when crunch time comes, people act and respond in such shocking ways. It was just last week that we all talked about a certain topic taking God's place as first in your life. We spoke about how we shouldn't put studies above God, we talked about how some people put so much priority in the wrong things in life.

yet, here we have it... a week after that same discussion that I hear someone saying to me that they can't come because they gotta stay home to study. I'm just a bit disappointed. Don't say sorry to me, dun say sorry i can't come. Coz really, you shouldn't be saying sorry to me, not to me. You should instead direct your apologies or excuses even to someone else... someone who you should be staying accountable to... and that's not me, that's God. I understand why you need to study and all... and the reasons i hear are legitimate.. don't worry. I'm jus saddened about the issue and I want to blog bout it coz i'm jus sad it has to happen.

I'm not pointing fingers at anyone coz i'm always guilty of such too. but i'm just disappointed that sometimes we can be so convicted about sumthing and then when it demands our commitment, we turn our backs. :S

Leonard raised this point during one of his sermons that i brought up during YAF today... he said, and i don't quote coz these are my words paraphrased from his point...
'People want changed lives but yet, they don't want their lives changed'
'People are willing to follow Jesus until it costs them something'

myself included. We're all sinful... but let's all press on to try to be who we are when it's most needed. Walk the walk we talk.

Uni Applications Bugging Me

NUS says:
Application status
The general stages for the application status are
Application received --> Application processing --> Outcome of application
Your current status is Application processing.

---

SMU says,
Thank you for your interest in SMU. Your application is currently being processed. We will inform you of the outcome of your application in due course.

---

NTU says,
well... NTU doesn't say anything coz they dun even have a page that tells u whether you're awaiting a response from them...

---

I am so sick of seeing these on the Uni application webpages... it's like... INCONCLUSIVE! let me know whether i'm in or not soon please!!! :S I've been waiting for a reply from NUS, NTU, SMU for the longest time.

mood: in suspenseful shit

W760... mine.... soon.

I will own this in a few weeks time... :) why? coz i'm going to buy it when i ORD. :) which is in a few weeks time... to be exact, it's 11weeks time.. that's like 2 plus months! wootz!!! haha anyways... i really quite like this phone. seems like quite a nice match for me. i've always wanted a nice walkman sony ericsson phone... so till i find something wrong with this phone or find sumthing better, this shall be what i'm aiming for... hopefully when it DOES properly come out, it won't be expensive. we'll see now shant we? ahha

Need a good phone coz mine has wanted to ORD from me for a long time... it's been crapping up, lousy reception, bad keys, no functions, useless battery... the only good thing about it is prob the look of it, the fact that it's a flip phone and the size. :) other than that.... hmmm. haha

We'll see how la. will save money for it and try to pay for it coz i never like to make my parents pay for anything i own... except the car and laptop. haha coz u know, they run into the thousands so there's no way i can pay for them. :S haha... and i am very grateful for everything i own which isn't paid for by myself... which is everything around me actually. like the house. HAHA...

Talkin bout that, i bought meself a trucker cap! yayz... ahha slowly completing my hiphop waredrobe.. which right now consists of 1 cargo pants, 1 trucker cap, 1 pair of shoes and 3 ankle socks... yarh. managed to grab some socks the other day too. i need want new shoes coz the insoles of the one i wear is gone... i need want new cargos coz having one cargo pants is just not enough... so sian.


On other news, i'm glad i'm off tml coz i have NO mood to go back to work. i guess it's coz we slogged quite a bit at work the past few days so that we could earn this off... and i'm glad i dun have to go to work coz i'm pretty sick of it. :) it's not so much the ORD mood, it's the fact that there just isn't anything to work for. i could go on and on about how i am TOTALLY not satisfied/contented/pleased with my workplace and the people there but i dun wanna be arrested... with 2 more months left... who wants to be a bellringer? and i'm not talkin bout some glam gameshow here... :)

Apart from that and all, i'm pretty ok with life. it's slowly moving i suppose. frens come and go rite? likewise for many things in life. ah... who am i kidding, when i've reached this point of the blog post, i just dun feel like blogging. hahah hope the top section has given u enuf to not demand for a 2nd post. :)

Here's a cool vid i found. It's for those people who love drifting... check it out yo. It's a truck... now how pro is that!

Purpose.

I don't know if it's God trying to tell us, YF, something... whether He's telling ME something or what but there has been some coincidences about a certain topic that keeps coming up in Shalom. Let me start where it should start...

Yesterday, we had the video screening of 'Facing the Giants' and it was wonderful... the show was great and the discussion after was done really well. Kudos to M.Chan and J.Low for doing such a great job facilitating the discussion. During the discussion, we talked about purpose... why we do things.. what's our purpose on this earth and what is success measured as in singapore? why do studies take a higher priority than church and God? In the show, there was a quote we all loved... it says, "If we win, we praise God and if we lose, we praise God. No matter what, we honour God with our lives"... and that really stayed with me... whatever the result, if we play for God, it doesn't matter now does it... God doesn't want us to score well, He doesn't want us to be the best in class. He doesn't grade us based on that. He just wants us to love Him with ALL our heart, soul and mind. So when we are here... what then is our purpose?

Today, the sermon topic was "win or lose, we praise God"... woah! haha... so freaky... and then during NISS class, we started talkin bout purpose again. and the discussion was EXACTLY like the discussion we had yesterday and the funny thing was that my NISS class people were the people who DIDN'T go for YF... so it was like woah... we're talkin bout the SAME things... exactly the same answers and discussion stuff. so cool la. i was jus sittin there smiling away watching them talk.

K.Tan raised up a real good point today. He was tellin us of this quote... sumthing like...
If your purpose on this earth is to worship God then forget it. coz it'll always be incomplete... wait for heaven... you'll worship God proper there. If your purpose is to serve then forget that too. coz you'll be serving in heaven and it'll be free of pride and greed. But maybe our purpose on this earth now is something we can't do in heaven. What is the only thing we can't do in heaven? Reach lost souls for Christ... so maybe that's why we're still here... still alive and still given the next day of our lives to live. now doesn't it make u think of how much we're fulfiling that purpose? :)

just a thot to throw around in your heads as we start yet another week of life for Him. :) stay strong brothers, sisters and for those who have yet to believe in christ... consider the fact that our purpose on earth is defined only by someone who isn't in this world... :)

Holy Gwakamole! Shuffling!

Dudes and Dudettes, CHECK THIS OUT YO. ownage! haha.

turn down your speakers.. it's a bit loud la. the music... thumping. ahah but the boy is... imba!

Randomness personified

"due to the rising oil prices, sorry i cant jia you anymore"

haha i jus broke into laughter when i saw this as my fren's personal message. super funny lor. and it's true isn't it? heard that oil prices are gonna go up to almost $0.23 or more... like wth! that means i'm gonna be paying 37 x $2.30 = $85.10 for a full tank.... which lasts me what? 5 days? oh man... that's mad... for those who don't own cars, i dun think you'll really know how much that means.. so dun take lifts from frens... be nice to them. HAHA... jus kidding la.

Spent an evening on wed night washing cars... like what? yeh, i brought both cars down to a location and while waiting for my mum to end her activity, ben and i ended up washing our cars... sad to say i had the sunny AND the fit with me coz mum drove one and so did i... ended up washing the fit really well... and then since ben wasn't done, the sunny screamed to be washed so had to wash that too. tiring like anything. elbow grease that's what ben calls manual labour... wah.. tired can. haha but satisfying la. after the wash, both cars were fresher than before... shiny and new... ok maybe not new. but at least they looked drivable. :) esp the sunny who has been collecting dust for a while now. HAHA. :)

Gonna have a busy stressful weekend this week. sat got to conduct breakout and discussions after... then prob gonna see if we can do sumthing with nick coz he just came out of tekong. :) then sunday got church, NISS [oh man... that reminds me], Exco meeting, Church Camp meeting [where we're meeting session to give our official proposals... eeps] and whatever comes after that. :) maybe i'll watch a movie in downtown east after that. treat myself a bit la. since i haven't watched a show in a while :)

work's been killer. we're OTing these days... thurs, fri, mon, tues... hopefully we can clear the work by monday and then dun need to OT on tues. haha dunch know if i can go for dance class on monday. gonna talk to bosses to see if i can get excused. but need to do the work before i can ask mahz. haha sigh. thankfully i'm liking what i'm doing now la. not some dumb fault that can't be fixed or what. it's just the normal mundane super tiring servicing... like monthly servicing but the big one... must change everything la. filters, oil, plugs.... whatever... jus wanna get these 3 months done with. haha... thank goodness i'm still surviving. been driving to camp much more these days so it's not that bad la. :) glad there's a car.

yup, break's over. time to get back to my weekend stuff... must plan, prepare and finally execute a well thought of, well planned activity and meeting. :)

p.s. youth worship's round the corner! oh no. haha.

Catching Up, Ice Cream Chefs and more.

Just a quick sentence to say that all's well. Been a bit busy with dance class and meeting up with friends to really type much for blog.

I have to say that there are a few things that have been taking up my time. mainly church stuff la... YF and Church Camp Comm have been quite draining and stressful. even 2 months before camp and i'm already wondering whether taking it up was a good idea.. but i guess someone's gotta do it and it'll be good if it were fresh ideas and all that jazz la. :) just praying that God would grant me the creativity and innovativeness to follow through whatever plans we have for the church camp. :)

on other news, things have been looking really boring at work. when you've got 86 more days left to leave, you really jus get into this sian mood... not to mention the management there kinda really bites... so it's not making working much easier. truthfully, the only reason why i'm still sane is because of the frens at work and the after-work activity. :)

Been able to dance much more and i'm thinkin of signing up for membership [which would make me dance even more] if the price is right. also been able to get to know and catch up with a fren i haven't had the time to meet over a long time. Ice Cream Chefs and Astons have never been funn-er :P. Glad that i've got company now in P.Lee la... haha it's really something i look forward to every week and i can see myself arranging meetings a week in advance. haha..
Last nite we had botak jones and ice cream chefs. :) glad my small gift was well received too. haha just hope that today brings good news and that P.Lee passes the driving test. :> haha

This friday's the 'Great Flood' Seminar talk at moriah. i'm gonna try to pull along some frens and P.Lee seems to be quite interested in coming so yayz. at least then it'll be interesting fun. ahaha. :)

catch ya guys around. gotta fly to work now. [and this was supposed to be one sentence saying i've got no time to blog. sigh]

youth sunday

wow...today was youth sunday in church... It was great seeing the youth giving their 100% into whatever ministry they were involved in, whether it was to usher, sing or prepare refreshments, everyone put in tremendous effort and i must say that the service not only ran smoothly but many church members really enjoyed the refreshing change. They propose to have it more often.I dunno but if you ask me, I totally agree with that idea. I feel that the youth have a lot of energy and passion for the Lord if only we would be willing to get off our butts and start serving.

When you talk about service, it comes with the idea of having to sacrifice something or to be actively doing something instead of slacking around. Maybe that's why people dun really like the idea of serving... it also denotes that you are lower than someone, someone is your master. But my frens, that's actually something we should jealously guard... to serve God is really a priviledge and opportunity none of us should pass up. Imagine you are given the offer of maybe being the president's driver or the person who makes his coffee in the morning. how many of us would turn down the chance to? And when we do finally work, how many of us would give a half-hearted service to the president?
No my frens, we'd make the best coffee we can possibly make. maybe even throw a few cups away we felt weren't good enuf. We'd polish the car, we'd wax it, clean it, make sure the right air freshener was bought, the tires all pumped up shiny and ready for the VIP... when we drive, we'd pay attention to the president making conversation with us. we'd wear white gloves to drive and we'd drive with such care and concern, slowing down when we near turns, signal when changing lanes, keep within the speed limit.

NOW my frens i ask you. who's bigger? God or the president? yet, here we are... sitting in our little comfy lives, making half grade coffee, dirty tires, dusty windows.... how come we dun see the need to be our best for His best?

Let us be reminded of how God is much greater than we normally think he is and service is just proper response from Him saving us from death and hell. If you ask me, i'd never stop serving christ if there was a choice. And there is. :)

Youth Sunday Prep

I haven't been blogging and I guess it's coz everytime i came to this blogpost page, i just stone and don't know what to write. so i'll jus let thots flow as i type.

We've been putting quite a bit of prep into youth sunday this time around. We've met three times for rehearsals and stuff... it's quite fun i tell you, the choice of songs were [originally thot to be] quite boring and nothing new. However, when we did try it for the first time and we practiced with everything [musicians, choir, chairman, location] in... it was quite a good experience. even when there wasn't people around, i still felt like i was really worshipping God. even after a super super long day. I guess that's what they mean by getting into the zone or the mood... i felt like i was alone in the practice jus raising my voice to the Lord.

I'm putting up an item this time around. it's called Complete by Parachute Band. Abi.L and I are presenting it and I pray that God will be honoured and that we won't draw any attention to ourselves. After all, God is the one we're playing and singing for. Praying that God will grant us good voices and calmness of nerves esp for her coz it's not easy presenting an item. :)

Other than that, life's pretty much ok. 96days to ORD and it's crawling... ahha but it'll pass i guess. it seems like yesterday that i was enlisting [ok that's full of nonsense but yeh] and here i am, 3 months away. :) glad that God has REALLY seen me thru and blessed me so much thru these 2 years... God doesn't leave nor forsake us anytime... it's whether we pull away from Him or not.

May we be complete in Christ as we recognize who He is to us all.

100 days left

MWEHEHHHHEHEHE


sniff. :)

Rants

I wish that sometimes work wasn't so tough and dreary. I look forward to weekends like anything but when they come, they come and go. Maybe it's coz i dun fill the weekends enough to look forward to something or maybe it's just coz apart from service and meetings, I don't really have anyone to look forward to? hmm maybe. The people I want to be close to, don't let me in or don't bother to. When you tell people not to think twice about sharing with you, you normally mean it. But whatever, it's their life and not mine. I'm here, they're... whatever.

Youth sunday prep was good. Ben shared a really meaningful and necessary message. Too bad it's always the normal core group that comes. They aren't the ones who need to hear the stuff we say. It's those on the sidelines that really need the message brought to them. However, apart from that, i think youth sunday should be safe enough to pull off. Sadly though. Would have loved for more changes and more... omfph... but whatever. :)

Shawty got low....

103 days to ORD. I'm jus counting. Get me out of there.... Elections for YF Exco next year should be interesting. I was telling a youth on friday night that it's pretty sad what state the YF has become. When CCAs and other stuff take so much priority over God and YF that when it comes to elections time, we're beggin people. It shouldn't be this way. Why can't people just take ownership of the YF. [and here i speak to the general audience] is this some community club u just visit when it's convenient or when you can get membership benefits out of? Has the YF become something optional? Why won't you take ownership, step up and make changes? We try to help so much, we warn, we tell u we're here now to lead and guide you. We're not going to be here for long trust me. If this keeps up, i'm gonna have to push plans a little earlier than what should be coz well, if you don't/won't bother about the YF... why should we?
Don't be surprised if we all stop and the YF is left in your hands. Suddenly, you're the older youth. well missy, sir... you jolly well wake up and smell the roses coz they're gonna wither real soon and when they do, dun look back and go "aww man! if only we...." coz hun, it'll be too late.

So i've been sick for a week. voice is back but still coughing and can't hit them high registers but who cares la... it'll hopefully get better. Need to sleep soon coz i really do need the sleep. been pulling my hours recently trying to get things done on empty brain cells. Haiz. not very productive. Just glad there's no work from work to bring home. Everyday it gets left in the workshop... for the weekend to pass. Then we're back to fight fire... so a gearbox there, a clutch master pump here... we'll see. that's life for me now... at least for 103 more days. :)

grinz. ORD loh.

Today was wonderfully miraculous... As most of you know, i have no voice now and barely can form sentences without cracking up or totally being unaudiable for a short while... so i've been trying to keep my words to a minimum... but today, i felt better and my voice was slowly coming back... and just the right time too.

Worked with 3 other frens today on a vehicle and it was a pretty relaxing day la coz this time it was 4 people workin on a gearbox... yeh so we managed to have some time to just talk and i mainly kept trying to initiate conversation to get things moving so work wouldn't be so boring. Managed to learn much more than i knew about ET and Aaron... it was like quite a good time la.

then after tea break, i managed to swing the conversation topic to Christian issues and it was really an afternoon of them asking loads of questions related to christianity and all.. 'What are the differences between Catholics and Christians' [coz one of them was a Catholic... 'What is Trinity all bout' and 'How do u explain dinosaurs' and loads of stuff la...
But what i was mainly glad about was how i was able to bring in stuff bout the gospel into the topics... like who Jesus is and why He died.. :) so hopefully today was a successful 'seeding' or 'watering' of the gospel in their heads. :)

And then i realized that I should always be talkin God as much as I can la... so yeh, jus a reminder that God should be always on our mind, tongue and words. yup. Praise God for Him giving me voice enuf jus for that time. :)

BreakDancing Madness

Check dis out!



SO SUPER FUNKZ.

2 Days MC

So guess who finally got down to buying himself a new mouse? haha I did splurge on this mouse coz i normally dun spend too much money on myself. Gave myself a treat after convincing myself it's good money spent... I'll need it and since i use my com so much, it's better to buy a mouse that will last me and that i'll love. :) Voila! The Logitech Wireless Mouse v320! haha... it's got great functions and it looks jus oh-so-sexy. :) i love it to bits. haha
Still trying to get used to the fact that there's no more cord... but i'll get used to it soon. the size is smaller than the mouse i normally use too... but that's a good thing la. :)

Anyhoo, i'm at home now at 11.33am on a wednesday morning. why? well, i'm on 2 days MC coz i'm sick. Throat infection and headaches and stuff....felt really miserable today when i woke up and it wasn't hard to decide whether i should go work or not. i sat up and the world jus spun... i was like OK! i'm not going to work... lolz... Yup, so managed to go to the doc's today and she was real nice.. talked a bit and she ended up givin me 2 days of MC coz as a technician, it's really not good and safe to be semi-sick and workin in the workshop. yup.. so i get to take some time off to rest and catch up on things i've been putting off... like cleaning my table and applying for overseas uni. :)

Waiting for this saturday. Ultimate Frisbee can! wootz! haha...

If Jesus came to your house

Jesus came to your house to spend a day or two
If He came unexpectedly, I wonder what you’d do
Oh, I know you’d give your nicest Room to such an honored Guest
And all the food you’d serve to Him would be the very best,

And you’d keep assuring Him you’re glad to have Him there-
That serving Him in your home is joy beyond compare
But when you saw Him coming would you meet Him at the door
With arms outstretched in welcome to your Heavenly Visitor?

Or would you have to change your clothes before you let Him in
Or hide some magazines and put the Bibles where they’d been?
Would you turn off the radio and hope He hadn’t heard
And wish you hadn’t uttered that last, loud, hasty word?

Would you hide your worldly music And put some hymn books out?
Could you let Jesus walk right in, or would you rush about?
And I wonder - if the Savior spent a day or two with you,
Would you go right on doing the things you always do?

Would you keep right on saying the things you always say?
Would life for you continue as it does from day to day?
Would your family conversation keep up it’s usual pace,
And would you find it hard each meal to say a table grace?

Would you sing the words you sing and read the books you read
And let Him know the things on which your mind and spirit feed?
Would you take Jesus with you everywhere you’d planned to go?
Or would you maybe change your plans for just a day or so?

Would you be glad to have Him meet your very closest friends,
Or would you hope they’d stay away until His visit ends?
Would you be glad to have Him stay forever on and on,
Or would you sigh with great relief when He at last was gone?

It might be interesting to know the things that you would do
If Jesus Christ in person came to spend some time with you.

Author Unknown

Disappointed with Man

There are so many times when things don't go your way or when things aren't as you planned. There are occassions that just don't happen when they should have. And there are things that you expect from people that never come.

You expect something, something big, something small... But nothing comes. Nothing gets returned nothing gets offered. How many times do you have to keep trying to realize that it's only one hand trying its hardest to clap and make sound. But all it gets is air. You realize it's all been a lie from a long time ago yet you still hope, wish, something for a glimmer, a shimmer, a spec of hope. You get none, over and over and over again.

You invest time in someone to hope they will turn out well. You work on them, you spend time talking to them about the future trying your best to excite them just enough for them to stay on and carry that vision you have because you know you don't have much time left. And at the end, at crunch time when you thought the decision was set in stone, they turn and leave. They put other things above what you thought was so important. And they turn down your offer to help. You wonder in amazement to yourself how they don't take ownership. Amazing.

You made plans. It looked great, you pushed aside things just so that this event would happen. And then, the group says they'd rather do something else. You get stuck in a flurry of decisions not made just thrown up for suggestion. Indecisiveness prods you and mocks at how you now have everything crumble in front of you. Your afternoon just opened itself up to... to well, nothing. Thankfully something else is there for a back up net. You put something there coz this situation has happened too many times for you to go home sad again. Funny how even in the back of your mind, there's a backup plan. How you trust them.

Disappointment. Man, me, do it all the time. You wonder to yourself how much will you continue to endure? How many times will you be reminded that you're no one to them? How many chances will you give them and how many times will you step aside saying it's ok?
I Dunno bout you but it's wearing thin.

He is Risen

He is Risen.

'Nuff said.

Fired up for God + NearDeath Experience

There are times when you just wonder to yourself whether you're doing things right, whether what you're doing is going to count for eternity and whether whatever you're doing is enough. But what we do is NEVER enough. don't you get it? We can never repay what Christ did for us.

That's what i remembered this week during Good Friday. His sacrifice was not only once and for all but it's something we can never even think we can ever repay. Even if we die for Him, that still wouldn't be enough. We can't live a life of sin then at the last moment [even if we DID have prior knowledge of when it'll end or how long we have] die for Him and expect to end up in Heaven. It just doesn't work that way. He demands us to have a life of pure sacrifice and a life lived for Him.

That's my next point i guess. Surrender. Surrender isn't partial, it isn't pick-and-choose. it's Ultimate, Complete, Whole surrender. You can not keep anything behind and say you've surrendered sumthing. When armies surrender, they don't keep a small resistance force. They don't demand a portion of the land when they surrender. When people/armies surrender, it's complete. The whole territory, the whole rule of a country and for us, our whole life; Every component of it.


Now, God died for you, what will u do for Him?

Today I almost fell to my death. No, I wish I was kidding, but I'm not. I was repairing the sanctuary stage ceiling lightbulb with B.Tsao for the Easter skit. I scaled the ladder all the way to the top and was unscrewing the old bulb from the bulb holder when i leaned out and semi-pushed myself off the wall to get a better angle. I lost balance coz i was leaning out and the ladder shook outwards and so did my body. I looked down and immediately swung myself back inwards holding on to the ladder for dear life even though the ladder itself was swaying. B.Tsao below grabbed on and tried his best to get the ladder to stabilize itself. Once the whole swaying was done, we both were stunned beyond silence and I just laughed away the adrenaline of almost falling although my heart was trying to get its normal beat back. We both realized after that if i did fall, there was no possible way he would have been able to catch me so i'd have either broken some limb really badly or died if i had fallen from that height.

On the way home just now i was thinking of how close i could have come to dying. I recalled everyone important to me and what i did or said last to them. it was scary. to think that what i said to them could have been my last. I'd have celebrated Qiang's 21st birthday and died the very next day. Stuff flooded my mind and then i realized, this is Good Friday week. someone DID die around this time. Jesus Christ, God's Son, gave His life willingly for us. I realized I had been pretty selfish asking myself whether i was ready to die when Jesus died FOR me, for you, for the world.

Gearbox in a day

Today was pretty ok. there were 2 people working in my section and the two of us managed to put a gearbox back into a vehicle. maybe that doesn't sound impressive but a gearbox is prob the size of a oven. weighs about 30kg? or a bit less maybe and can sumtimes take a day to get in alignment. Frankly, i felt quite accomplished that the two/three [coz one came to help later on] of us managed to get the gearbox, prepare it to be put in, raised it with a crane, lowered it into position and managed to get the biting point to finally slot it in nicely to fit the rest of the gearboxes and engine components of the vehicle.

i was quite happy. it wasn't fully finished coz there were some propeller shafts that were still not fully attached.. but hey, i thot we managed to do quite a big task today. :) shag like hell la coz it was real hard.. but it's only when u get shagged like hell days that you begin to realize how far you've come since the 'eww oil!!!' days of Trainees. :) so what if i've got 4months more to ord... the fact is that i've been doing this line of work for the past 1 and a half years... and that's what i'd never have done if i were a clerk. :)

so that's kinda my day. hoping i won't be sian-ed tomolo. need to stay motivated to work otherwise feet get a bit draggy. :)

watched The Arena jus now... been dying to catch it but last week i had an invited guest over for dinner so had to give it a miss... but today, it was Global Indian International School against Jurong Sec... wowz... fiery battle can. i wish i had taken up debating in sec sch. i did try but there wasn't enuf interest for the 'cca' to stay alive so it kinda simmered down after a while... i love to talk about current affairs/social issues... but i dunno whether i've lost my eloquence over the past years... sad to say, it's not all about how u speak but what u speak. without content, even the most immaculate speech can fall flat on it's face if not backed up with solid, compelling and well delivered content. Just my 2cents worth on debates. but all in all, i'm glad jurong took home the win. the last speaker was SO much like hello kitty and her smile, DAGGERS! but she delivered some really good points that were so great it jus made the Indian girl look bad. Wonderful show. loves its to bits. haha

Summary of 17th March 2008. One day away from 4months-till-ORD. :)

My New Desktop Wallpaper

Check out my new desktop wallpaper!


Heh. today was great... amazingly fun. i knew it'll be fun to get to know more people and esp from the BP circle but wow. today was real cool. wanna do it again soon. :) The talk by C.Chong was excellent. really really engaging and humourous... So many people turned up too! Just from our side, we had 24 people. wowz!
After the talk, we had captain's ball and dinner which was really fun too. haven't played captain's ball seriously in a long time. :)

Today was great. made new friends, learnt much about science and God and all within a day. :)
check out the post at shalomyf.blogspot.com
alternatively, u can check out Josiah's facebook photo album. :)

Poor Polar Bear

Oh Gosh! this is so funny. poor guy.

More time

I wish I had more time. coming home everyday late, feeling so shagged out.

NISS is suffering. I wish I had more time. Or at least, i wish i spent my time wisely on God rather than on man.

Mobilization Weekend

Sometimes i wish things weren't so complicated and things were straight forward.

This weekend was my mobilization week. that meant that at any time of the day i could be activated and within the next 4 hours, i had to be back in camp ready to attack and fight a war. It was quite exciting coz it's like, you really gotta be ready.

I personally feared that i could be activated halfway throughout YF or Church. My officers told me that normally the time to activate the people would be 10am... and we haven't [as a company] been activated in quite a long time so we're kinda due for an activation. Then at 10.05am, my phone vibrated in my pocket. My heart stopped and i jus inhaled like half the air in the Sanctuary. Took out my phone and it was a message from A.Lai. I was SUPER relieved la... i was like OH SHEET OH SHEET OH SHEET! haha... but thank God that i had an uneventful and unmobilized weekend. :S

However, it made me think. I shared during CE class about how we must always be prepared to give an answer to any man that asks of our faith. It's jus like mobilization. Once the button is pressed, we must be ready to fight the war coz if we aren't, then the country would suffer. Likewise, we must get our weapons [bible knowledge] ready and we ourselves must be ready because the enemy [Satan] will attack at any time when we least expect it. When the button is pressed, are we ready to defend God, our faith and the things we believe in? Or will be slowly take our time to reach the enemy and fight with weapons that aren't sharp, aren't current and aren't relevant. Will we lose and bring down the name of God jus because we weren't actively ready?

Yup. jus a quick sharing la. I'm uber tired now and i HAVE to get to sleep coz there's work tml again. yup. unending... so i'll catch ya guys around yeh? :)

Sometimes i wish life was easy. Life is easy, what's wrong with me.

Sharing Sorrows

Sorry to dump that on you guys. I didn't mean to get the mood down and stuff but since B.Tsao asked, i shared. hope that it didn't affect you guys so much. My problems should stay my problems la. thanks for listening though. I'm glad for this Exco.

I think i'd just rather be alone on this issue. :)

Sweeney Todd

Just watched Sweeney Todd. wow... quite a cool show. but i'm sure it's coz i'm a musical person so this being a musical on big screen prob added to the pros of the show.

the singing and lyrics were pretty cool... the way the camera pans, angles and all that... cinematography... quite neat and the concept.. wow... interesting. had me chuckling at certain points of the show to imagine the warped mentality of the characters.

some said it's too gory and gross.. i say it's still tasteful gore. K maybe a bit too watery... but i thot all the blood was overrated [by people] it's not that bad! or or or ... i could jus be totally desensitized to blood. but i thot the way the bodies fall was pretty neat... pheeww CRUNCH/CRACK. wow.. funky. haha...

loved how it all wrapped up at the end. pretty sad and all [won't spoil it] but it's quite an apt ending if u ask me. :)

Mrs Lovett rawked! she played her character so well considering how hard it prob was. Yeh, so if you're not too easy grossed out, catch the show coz it's quite cool la. but girls, there's LOTS of blood. so yeh, be prepared. :) i give Sweeney Todd.... 7.5/10. Johnny Depp la. haha

Rainbow 彩虹

The rain falls and it pours. It thunders and it streaks across the sky.
I planned to move forward, i planned to get to point B.
But how am i if i can never get through this storm?
How can I even think of not getting wet when it pours so bad?

Then amidst it all, i see something at the end. A Rainbow.
I know i'll get wet, i know i'll get drenched.
But the funny thing is, i don't mind it if there's gonna be a rainbow at the end.
It's time, time to face the rain, to dash out and to get to that side.

My rainbow will help me along the way.
It'll keep me sane, it'll keep me at bay.
I rush out knowing it's there to help.
With my rainbow, i'm never alone.

But the rainbow doesn't know what it means.
It just shines in the sky being beautiful and radiant.
It doesn't know it gives someone joy, escape.
So rainbow, keep giving that glimmer of hope.

It's the only way I can see how the rain won't affect me forever.

p.s. new music. this song is exactly how i feel now. esp this part.

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

The One With a Short Poem about a heavy heart

My heart is heavy
My thoughts astray
My eyes are drenched
My burdens I never did lay

I'm tired of being affected
I'm tired of being forlorn
I'm tired of being ignored
I'm tired of being torn

When will this be over?
When will I stop being in denile?
When will this be resolved?
When will I be able to smile?

Dear Father, You know my thoughts, my pain, my burdens. You know everything I need, everything I want. Give me strength to rely on You and to seek only You for my every day bread. Help me to see You in everything and not be distracted by the people or things in my life. How can I commit myself to You and say I love You when my heart and mind are elsewhere? You knew me before I was and You know me now before I will be. Help me trust in You for Your timing, grace and love.
Man may fail you but God will never fail.
Abba Father, Amen.

Barry Louis Polisar - All I Want Is You

This song is taken from the show Juno... Synopsis here.. which is WONDERFUL go watch it! [but please be above 16 years of age coz it talks bout teenage pregnancy] And if you don't wanna pay for it, come look for me. grinz. it's really good. so sweet. click play at my media section.


If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen
All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen
All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a river in the mountains tall,
The rumble of your water would be my call.
If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow
Just as long as you were with me, let the cold winds blow

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod
If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod.
If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug
And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were the wood, I'd be the fire.
If you were the love, I'd be the desire.
If you were a castle, I'd be your moat,
And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float.

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

Bored Speed Typing

78 words

Slosh Slosh

Chinese New Year this year isn't that big a bang. Dunch really know why but this year it feels pretty low key... like we didn't visit much and even when we did, we jus went to eat and say our HIs and stuff... nothing.... culturally explosive about this year. maybe the hype of everything is going down a notch. B.Tsao was commenting about Christmas being lowkey too during that period. mmm i wonder why the world is slowly losing interest in itself. kinda like how youth are losing interest in themselves too. all the emo-ness in the world and their lives and all.

But that's about Chinese New Year. It's crazy ya know... on day 2 of CNY this year, i went to town to watch a movie with some church frens. LOLZ lor. wazzup with that? the cinema wasn't empty either!!! we almost got front row seats [and not in a good way] haha. it was a fun show... caught Kung Fu Dunk... it's quite a funny cute show really... it's MUCH lighthearted than i thot it would be... he pokes quite a lot of fun everywhere and jay's style of humour is quite endearing. :) i must say that i can see why people flock to him and find him very entertaining. :) apart from him being emo, he's got quite a cute likeable side to him... seen clearly in this show. go watch it.

yup... i'm glad for quite a number of things in my life now. i can't say that it's very good or very bad.. it's pretty average, uneventful and mundane.. but that's kinda sumthing to be thankful for too. jus that sumtimes it feels like an ocean and beach.. the waves jus keeps coming over and over again smacking the shore or kissing it lightly.. but u know that another wave is coming.. it's jus the natural flow of things. weeks pass like the waves... u know the next is coming and each can be big or small.. either way, life goes on.

Haven't been keepin up with my NISS for a while now. i'm really screwed messed up. maybe that's why God feels a bit far now. not far la. jus not near... u know, like that "mystic being" other religions talk bout. He's there, jus that my lack of discipline and love is keeping Him there and not here. that kinda thing. :)

Gold Class: Atonement

Ah, if you haven't already tried GV Gold Class, you had NO idea what luxury movie screening is. Amazing experience I had. Watched Atonement there last week and the service was just WONDERFUL. We went like 15 minutes early and was ushered by lovely nice staff to the lounge. The lounge itself is super nice and chic. very up market food and wines. There was a menu which was overpriced but hey, why not go the whole nine yards since we're already there rite? :) Got a brownie and when my friend wasn't around, i managed to get the staff to serve the brownie with a candle on top. This was a special request and i didn't think they'd entertain it, but they surprised me by telling me they were prepared for situations like this.

So on we went into the cinema and the seats were SO cool. u can see them in the photos above. large reclining red couches that are SO comfy.. trust me! and to top things all off, they give us a nice stylish black blanket. So off the shoes went and on the blanket came, it was just such a nice relaxing and cozy feel. Then in came the brownie and the other snacks we bought, all delivered to our small little personal table. It felt like i was royalty. :)

overall, the experience was WONDERFUL and if you have a free ticket or too much money to spend, try it at least once. :) it's cool. haha

Random non structured flow of words

Life is pretty so-so. just getting thru Week after week. Nothing much that's been happening to me i guess. The things that were complicated last week are still complicated this week. The people i deal with haven't changed neither have I changed in the way i deal with them. Life now is just a slow crawl towards ORD which my google countdown tells me is 165 days away. that's roughly about... oh... 5 and a half months?

I dunno. there are times when i have to purposely and consciously silence myself and my urges. Silence them because I know God is putting me thru a refining time so that i will come out as gold. patience is what i need and self control. Stuff that hasn't always been sumthing really big for me. Telling myself that i'm still young, 21 isn't that big a deal and stuff happen more when you're older. I can't say that i have my life under control coz there are lots of times when i find my life being controlled by others, things they say/do/want/feel... that sorta thing. Much of me can be summarized by trying to please others and trying to be who they/i want me to be. Not a bad thing per se, but neither issit constructive or good.

The worst of Alvin's passing is over. It's funny but i have people coming up to me and asking me how i am now. it's been 3 weeks hasn't it? so yeh, my responses is always the same... God gave me strength and the worst is over. surges of sadness and loss comes here and there but they're managable and dealable. I'm just glad God gave me such strong lessons thru it all. right? :)

A blog isn't really a great place to just talk random thots as they pop into your head coz you know there's gonna be people reading this and trying to make things flow jus wants to scream out at you... OIE! THEY NEED STRUCTURE TO READ. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? But let me be excused for this entry at least. i dun wanna structure anything... jus wanna de-stress by writing. typographical diarrhoea. see, i'm not even gonna go back and correct myself if i find errors. I had a fren who's nick name was really cute... it was "Tyepo"... lolz. i thot it was like the most spastik thing yet sensible thing.

surface level. blogging that is. but then again [and i'm jus breaking a bit thru the surface here] so is my life actually. feel that most frenships i have now are just full of surface level frenships. :) some jus a bit deeper than others but most of them jus start with "hahas" and end with "hahaz"... you know, those kinda meaningless conversations.I guess i still carry on with them becoz i know that they're the best i can have now and i'll take whatever i can reach out and grasps onto. even if they leave me so.. wanting... at least i know i had it.

and yet we start another paragraph. let me take a snapshot of how i look like now.
yup. that bad. haha i'm jus waiting for my hair to dry up so i can sleep. but i think it's dry enough so let me jus wrap this entry up. I'm glad for friends [i pray and thank God for them all the time] and i'm glad for family [coz without them i'd be quite astray by now] but most of all, I'm glad for God becoz without His Son, i'd be no where, no one, no thing...

so thank you Jesus.

Just Rubbish Comics

Busy busy week

This week has been mad. Swamped i tell you. swamped with things eating my time and attention. I was just apologizing to Kenneth last nite because I hadn't done a single bit of my NISS [the new bible study] homework. Monday to wed i had exercise so i didn't get home till like 1am thurs... needless to say the rest of the day was tiring coz i had to work. then the rest of the weekday nights were spent doing breakout final preps and writing my article for the weekly. the only time i had was sat night. haha... it's like cramming 6 days of NISS into a few hours on sat night. haha

ended up sleepin at 2 if i'm not wrong... but managed to finish my niss. amazingly enuf i was able to clear what i needed to. hhaaha... but this week has really taken it's toil on me.

haha it's funny, i stopped blogging to chat and now i'm continuing the entry... an hour later... anyways, today was quite ok... church and all. meaningful songs and i thot it was done quite well. pastor gave a good message too and had some efficient and good meetings after that. :)

still glad the breakout comm is going strong and doing well. once again, writers blog i mean.. block... so yeh, take care peeps.

Tribute to God and to Alvin

I wrote an article for my church weekly this week. it was published and thanks be to God, many were encouraged. :) Amen. :) Glory goes to God coz He gave me the words to write. anyways, here it is.

---

I have a friend, Alvin. I knew him from the Army and when I knew him, I got to know he was a backslider. Seeing how the rest of my army friends would ostracise him because he was a bit weird made me make a commitment to God to reach out to him. It was during one of those normal boring guard duties that I took the chance to dig deep and ask him more about his life. It was interesting how he was open as he shared about how he became a Christian and why, due to some conflict with people, stopped attending church. I guess it was either me taking interest in his life or just the chance to share with someone but we hit it off pretty well and I told God that I'll work on bringing him back to Christ.

Amazingly, we were posted to the same workshop and although most pitied me for ending up with him for the rest of my army life, I saw it as a confirmation from God that He wanted me to specifically talk to Alvin about Christ. Over the months, I reached out to him constantly and poked him time and time again about church going. He promised to try his old church again and he did. Occasionally, he'd stop going because of other commitments but I was glad that there was some progress. Over time, we tried starting a prayer meeting in the workshop but apart from Alvin, most weren't too interested in giving up their break time to meet and pray together. Interestingly enough, Alvin and I had some mutual friends whom he had known from Poly and Poly Christian Fellowship. As I spoke to them, I found out that the Christian Fellowship didn't know how to talk to him or reach out to him and actually gave up on trying. It was amazing how God put him into my life so that His work would not be stopped or done in vain. I viewed that as yet another compelling evidence to never give up with Alvin. Outside of work time, Alvin and I would also go and chill out or have a meal together since his girlfriend's place was close to mine. I really enjoyed the fact that God was allowing me this chance to watch a brother grow in his faith and inch closer and closer to the Lord.

However, November 2007, due to a review in his medical status, he was posted out of the workshop to become a storeman in our HQ, Jurong Camp. I personally was taken aback at the sudden re-posting and was disheartened that I had lost a good friend. I didn't let distance stop me from maintaining a good friendship with Alvin and whenever I went to Jurong Camp, looking him up for lunch was a habit. I enjoyed his company and the laughs he brought but he also represented a sense of achievement and accomplishment as I saw how he came back to Christ.

Last Saturday, I got a call from his girlfriend at about 1plus. It was simple, straightforward and unforgettable. “Joel, I don't know who else to call. Alvin met with an bike accident and has passed away.” I stood there in my room stunned as my brain slowly took it all in. My knees buckled and I crumpled to the floor. He has just recently obtained his bike license and I used to joke about how dangerous he would be on the road. Suddenly, it wasn't that funny a joke anymore. In that matter of seconds my whole weekend and life changed. My friend had just died and I couldn't do anything about it. My mind slowly soaked up the details and information as internally, I didn't want to believe it.

I dropped all my commitments, save church, to be there for his girlfriend and family. It took a lot from me and even now, a week after his passing, I still find it hard when I think of my dear friend. However, what I want to say is that if I had ignored God's soft prompting to reach out to him, if I had done the logical thing and mocked him along with my fellow friends, I would be living in regret and guilt now. Brethren, what I can say is that God works in impossibly mysterious ways and although I miss him from time to time, I am so glad I will see Alvin once more in heaven. I hope that all of us take this as an opportunity to re-look those we know who need the Lord. Don't ignore a prompting if God has given it to you because we never know how long we have on this earth with these friends. A burden given by the Lord has a reason and we might not understand it, all He asks is that we obey the still small voice. I started this article with 'I have a friend' and not 'I had a friend' because I know that one day, I'll see him in heaven again and he will always be my friend. I pray you will see your friends there too.

In memory of my dear friend and brother in Christ, Alvin Ho.

Dedicated to Alvin Ho Kah Yun

This post is dedicated to my dear dear friend Alvin Ho. You were a good guy, a great fren and a closer brother. Words fail me to understand why you've been snatched away to be with God now. I can't say I understand but I will accept that it is in His almighty plan. I'm just thankful to God for the chance to know you, to work with you and to pray with you.

I will miss you so much. I already do. Thank you for being my friend, my confidante at times and my brother in Christ. You don't know what you meant to me.
They say life goes on, but life without you inside is going to be way different. I pray you are in a better place, with God. I'll miss you buddy.

"Alvin Ho, formerly from our depo posted to Hq died in a traffic accident in Malaysia. News from Bn Hq"

"Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows."
"...When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me..."

Ukulele Rocker

3 Idiots, Crazy fun. Maybe i'll upload more videos. maybe not. haha

Pay Day

Today's pay day. guess who finally has 4 digits in his bank account. guess guess.

i'll give you a hint: me.

MWHAHA. yayz. i'm so happy. first time in my whole NS life i have 4 digits. and this is like a really rare thing coz even before army, it wasn't easy getting and keeping 4 digits... so here's to the hope once again of staying sustainable. :)

even though today was a really really busy and tiring day... i'm so happy.

everyone should make the 10th of every month something to look forward to.

Coz you had a bad day...

Today wasn't a great day, it was quite bad... but i guess i've had much worse... jus wanna blog bout it coz it gives me an avenue to rant. :)

Work today was a bummer. It was a super long day [hours dragged on forever] and i got a bit pissed off at work today coz my juniors were just blatantly sleeping on the vehicle... it's quite irritating when i kept having to wake them up coz i dun want them to get in trouble. decent courtesy would be to wake yourself up or try not to sleep... yeh, so in the end found myself having to walk away from the vehicle many times just to keep myself from scolding them or saying sumthing i might regret. i like this bunch of juniors, dun wanna spoil that.

Then after work FINALLY ended, took a bus down to tampines to connect to bugis... but i missed my tampines stop coz i dozed a bit... ended up taking the long route to bedok mrt. which was super crowded... got to bugis, met up with M.Seah and J.Foong and had a nice time chatting over dinner. I'm glad we still meet up and we're still quite close to each other. :) we had a fun time swaan-ning Seah bout his officer appointment... we two are sergeants see. ahha. Yup.

So Seah told me a new way to go home, decided to go with him. supposed to be faster. ended up waiting for our bus for quite a while and then after he got off, i got off to get my connecting bus 10. waited for like 15 minutes and i was messaging to avoid dying from boredom... then i looked up and ZOOM bus 10 went by.not just that, it went by and splashed water on my jeans and feet lor. i was like. WTH... sheeeet. ended up at that cold rainy dark bus stop for half an hour. lost my transfer concession coz waited too long and had to run home in the rain after that.

Oh, and it's 5 minutes to my extended bedtime liao. supposed to sleep at 11. sigh

" Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around"

BreakOut SubComm Poster Designing 070108

Can I say with ease that I love the BreakOut SubComm to bits? So hardworking, so committed. I've got SUCH an easy life with them around. lolz.

Met up with the BreakOut SubComm girls last nite [Sera.Tong] 'siam'-ed the camera but she was there] to design the poster for the upcoming BreakOut: PlayStation. It was a fun time of crazy-ness and yet SUMHOW, discussion on what needs to be added on and what needs to be taken out. I guess it's rare that I design a poster with the help of others, most of the time i'd jus do it myself and get it over with. However, this time was refreshing to have their input and their suggestions added on. :) Surely worth the petrol and parking. haha.

Things are really looking good for now, the BreakOut team looks real set to go and minister to the people. Now we're just praying hard that the people show and they have enuf fun to want to bring their friends. I can't emphasize this more. Like how I mentioned in BAYFGM, there's NO POINT planning BreakOuts if you don't come or don't get your friends down as well. We don't plan this coz we love planning activities [though we do], we plan it for the YF to participate and enjoy... we plan it for you.

Look at the BreakOut Sub Comm, look at the Exco. Don't let our efforts go to waste. Come, come for YFs and stuff... you won't regret it. I have never.

BreakOut: PlayStation
26th Jan 2008, 2:41pm, Chapel.

First Post of 2008

Yeh so I'm kinda late for the first post of the new year.. considering how it's already the 6th day of the new year... well, i've been a bit busy with YF and church and work and stuff... yeh, apologies... new year's was good... we chilled at the Puas house which was super uber fun. We played this chinese game...
yes, you MAY stop re-reading that sentence... I DID play a chinese game.. and i WAS quite ok.. i even got to the top... for like, a few seconds but hey! i was there. ahha

It's called 'MA TONG'... yeh, toilet bowl [which i thot meant pail at first but hey, who needs to know that]... and it's a rhythm, chinese game... aiyah, go learn it from someone else and when we've got another big-group-get-together-thing, we'll play it... coz yeh, it's ACTUALLY fun. well, Lynn might not think so. :P ahha

Other than that, we didn't get to use the frog 'awkward silence' thing at Watchnight. like super bummer... haha but watchnight was good... people jus kept coming to the front to give testimony. it was quite a thril... and some of them were really meaningful and i'm glad they came to share.
Ju gave testimony about her grandma which was real good... so happy she shared and FIRST summore. :)

Yups, so here i am, slacking on a sunday evening.. watching the Italian Job on TV. so cool. heh it's like THE mini cooper show. S_xy to the max. :) but aye, i'll settle and be content with my kick as_ honda fit. haha...

I'm glad things are going good nowadays. i mean, i'm at peace with everyone again... and i hope everyone's at peace with me. Have a good 2008 people. heh

Uncontrollable...

Ever bawled your eyes out during a movie? To have this unending sob keep rising to your nose, throat and eyes? To have your body rocking and to have your eyes well up with such force no dam in this world could hold?

And to finally let it out and let the tears trickle down your cheek as you breathe in that wave of comfort. To try to mask it with a laugh yet trying to keep watching though your vision's all watery?

Well, it happens from time to time. Gosh, it was a good feeling though.
The LakeHouse. if you haven't, go watch it.
*sniff*

Blessed Christmas

So it's finally here, done and over. Christmas is here and the hype of the season has reached its pinnacle. The epitome of joy, love and sacrifice has been once again celebrated, remembered and cherished. The Lord's birth is once again commemorated with a big bang... i must say this Christmas was different... it was less than what i expected and much less... WOWed. :)

The gifts were exchanged, cards, handshakes of love and hugs of concern were given out freely. It was a wonderful time when the whole church was just lost in the festive mood of wishing every a blessed Christmas. For that split second, everyone was just happy. It was nice.

Then we had a stayover at D.Yeo's place. I'm still there actually. it's 6.32am and i'm waiting for the sun to rise so i'll have enough light and energy to go home. haha... kinda tired but i'm so used to not sleeping properly so it's ok. Yup, glad that i got some stuff for some people and some cards for some people and wished some people. u know, it's the whole yayz, i'm glad they're happy. haha...

yup. tired now. byez. blessed christmas one and all.

Christmas

Christmas is finally coming... It's in 2 days. The festive CRAZY-NESS has started. Today's the first 'performance' and people are going mad i tell you... running here and there... but it's fun to be busy in the Lord and seeing the cheer of Christmas, how can I not be smiling away? I find myself smiling ever so often just because it's Christmas. It's a wonderful feeling I guess....

So here it comes, Christmas. For those who are not Christians who read this... really, what are you seeking for? You didn't even need to look, God sent Himself to you through Jesus Christ His son. He gave you the only gift no other could give. Imagine, opening the wrapping to find the most eternal, everlasting and precious gift that men across the generations have been seeking for. Everlasting life, freedom from Sin, Love. Everything and more, and all you need to do is thank Him, Trust Him and Totally love Him for who He is and what He did. It's that Simple.

'Even Wise Men sought for Jesus.'

think about that for a while. :)

Have a Blessed Christmas and a Joyous New Year one and all!

Taken from http://www.reverendfun.com/?date=20071221

Love one another

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. - John 13:34-35

Today's YF was good... it was camp echo and so most of the campers came down to recollect some lessons learnt during camp, to view some photos and to reflect on Mt Belumut. :) Something popped in my head that has stuck with me throughout the day though.

If we are called to love everyone equally, even our enemies... how do you love a brother/sister who doesn't want your love? Someone who ignores you or pushes you aside... doesn't give you any of their time just because. Now, we're talkin bout your side here and not their side... how then do you be a brother/sister to them? How do you love them when they run away from you?

Now to take it one step further, what is 'loving' your bro/sis? What's appropriate and inappropriate as a church body.... just some thots.

It's the Christmas season. I wonder, issit possible to put hatred aside, resentment, previous grudges, anger, bitterness and alienation away and just love?
I dunno bout the general public but to me, I have but one wish [of course i have many but this ranks the highest]... that this Christmas period, i will be at peace with everyone. That whatever has happened be forgotten just for a while and everyone smile at each other.

All i want is for you to look at me and smile. Just for Christmas.
Why? issit that hard to love?

Life so far

Well, life so far has been interesting, complicated and yet still had points worth living for [of course life is worth living for. duh]

The past few days were away from work... came back from the exercise on monday, got OFF given to us on tues and friday [today], wed and thurs were good too coz i was on 2days of MC. And yes, i'm STILL sick... sighz. haha... but maybe it's coz i didn't spend the 2 days resting at home. yeh but i can't coz i had things to do, places to go to, people to meet, stuff to buy.

The past week kinda passed nicely. Spent much of my time with a good friend whom i know i'll miss in a few weeks time. I guess it's stealing whatever time i can have with that friend before that friend flies overseas for a long time. Anyways, we both were free and had somehow really freaky agendas coz they all involved the same places. So yeh... managed to get some shopping done [satisfied but still lacking] before the Christmas crowd hit... Argh. need to buy wrapping paper. Then there were times of this week that made me really stop and think whether i should really be out shopping when i was sick or what... but i knew i had to if i wanted to get stuff before they jacked the prices up and all that jazz.

I have had to also watch myself in terms of what i did, said and thought... it's been an interesting week la i'd say.

YAF last nite was fun fun fun. We had games nite and jus relaxed playing games. i had to watch myself laughing coz i was coughing and laughing would induce a strain of cough that was hard to stop.. but stupid B was making it hard not to laugh when he kept making dumb jokes and stuff... it was really a good time of relaxing and fun with board games. :) we played Cranium and Bible Trivia. haha... good good. :) stayed quite late though but had a lift home.

Yeh, so here i am sitting here on a friday afternoon 1.45pm... i woke 45 minutes ago. And am still sick. will use the day to clear some stuff that i have to do like christmas cards and Heroes episodes... not to mention i managed to get a lot of movies from airy last nite. yayz. got much to watch over the holiday season... haha..

Take care people and dun think too much during this holiday period. it's not good. jus enjoy yourself.

Back from SPT

Too tired but I'm back from SPT. it was great. Learnt alot and accomplished more.

Thank You for protecting and keeping them safe. You know how worried I was for them but You had them in Your hands and thoughts all along. Trusting in You is never futile.
Welcome back Youths. YF Camp sounded fun.

On other notes, I'm getting older and older by the day. I'm not talkin bout age, mentality, mindsets, interaction with people... Everything. Less.... Fun. :)

how do i know that? well, this is pure evidence: "The blog post ends here coz i dun feel like blogging anymore... or maybe it's just coz i'm just tired." :)

最長的電影 Lyrics + SPT

I'm not going to be online from Monday [3rd Dec] till the next monday [10th Dec]. I'm going for some Section Proficiency Test... 4 days, 3 nights outfield too lor! haha sighz... call or sms me... i dun mind the cheer up. I've got my phone charger so no worries. :) Take care of yourselves too k? Esp the youth who are climbinb Mt. Belumut...

I'm posting these up coz they're such beautiful lyrics. They come from Jay Chou's latest album... and they're really sad words but yet has such a sweet heart-string tugging melody behind them all. Give the song a listen... it's on top of the tagboard. :) my fav song from the album as of now.

我们的开始是很长的电影
Wo men de kai shi shi hen chang de dian ying
Our relationship is the longest movie

放映了三年
Fang ying le san nian
It has been showing for three years

我票都还留着
Wo piao dou hai liu zhe
I'm still keeping the ticket

冰上的芭蕾脑海中还在旋转
Bing shang de ba lei nao hai zhong hai zai xuan zhuan
The ballet on ice is still revolving in my mind

望着你慢慢忘记你
Wang zhe ni man man wang ji ni
Looking at yet slowly forgetting you



## 朦胧的时间 我们溜了多远
Meng long de shi jian Wo men liu le duo yuan
In the haze of time How far we have skated

冰刀划的圈　圈起了谁改变
Bing dao hua de quan Quan qi le shei gai bian
The circles made by the skates' blades, whoever's in it changes

如果再重来 会不会稍嫌狼狈
Ru guo zai chong lai Hui bu hui shao xian lang bei
If we could start all over again, will it be a tad too awkward

爱是不是不开口才珍贵 ##
Ai shi bu shi bu kai kou cai zhen gui
Is love more precious when it is kept in the heart?



** 再给我两分钟
zai gei wo liang fen zhong 　
Please give me two more minutes

让我把记忆结成冰
Rang wo ba ji yi jie cheng bing
Let me freeze these memories forever

别融化了眼泪　
Bie rong hua le yan lei
Don't let your tears fall

你妆都花了
Ni zhuang dou hua le
Smudging your makeup

要我怎麽记得
Yao wo zen me ji de
How can I remember?

记得你叫我忘了吧
Ji de ni jiao wo wang le ba
I remember you told me to forget

记得你叫我忘了吧
Ji de ni jiao wo wang le ba
I remember you told me to forget

你说你会哭
Ni shuo ni hui ku
You said you would cry

不是因为在乎 **
Bu shi yin wei zai hu
But not because you care

Reasons

It's funny, recently i've been finding myself doing a lot of things beyond reason... I wonder to myself, hmmm why am i doing this.

no reason.

like today. plus... i miss angelston. dun ask why, i just do.

Another Failure

You know. I feel really down right now. I'm just frustrated at myself and how I messed up again. How many people do I have to hurt to realize that it's not working out. Why didn't it go the way it would/should/could have?

Why do we get close to people if it only leads us to get hurt more?

The 3rd one I messed up. And this one, looks bad. I really did it this time. I messed up big time. Whatever it is, I'll get out of the way and try not to hurt anyone else anymore. I just hate it coz I didn't know. Till now. Saying sorry doesn't cut it, it doesn't even make it right.

I wonder how God takes it. His creation constantly sinning, turning away from Him and hurting Him. Yet He doesn't give up on them, on us, on me. God, I'm sorry, I bring this failure of a friendship to You. I don't want to mess it anymore. If it pleases You, mend it. If not, help me to learn from it and forgive me for it. God, I surrender it to Your hands.

I'm sorry, God.

Exercise Over

Wow... this exercise was super memorable. coz i dun really have a lot of time to blog, let me cut things short... i almost died this exercise!!! haha... let me tell ya why.

We were activated at bout 1am to go repair one of the rigs [vehicles] and so we drove off in our 5 tonner [it's like a huge van.. you've seen them on the roads]

sumthing like this... anyways.. it's got this canvas covering the top rite? yeh.. so we left base camp to the deployment ground to look for the rig.. however, we encountered a really weird route which snaked upwards onto a slope that was muddy and super bumpy.. trust me, we were being thrown around inside the tonner. and it was real scary coz it's those kind of situations that you're jus waiting for the tonner to hit a rock or a ditch and either fly or tumble sideways down... i'm serious, i was legit-ly scared for my life there and then... then to make things worse a large branch [almost like a tree trunk coz it was so huge] impaled the tonner's canvas... like it stuck right thru...

wanna know the scary part? it impaled the tonner's canvas near my head.. it was like.. *psssshhht* and i looked left and there was this trunk two person's head-length away... i was like HO SHIT... hahaha... it was like damn... i could have died... so in the end we got out of the tonner and realized we were stuck coz the branch was lodged into the canvas and it didn't allow the tonner to move forward OR backward without ripping the canvas or the metal structure holding the canvas together [which was already bent]... yeh so in the end we waited in the forest trying to contact HQ to send rescue... and it was already like 2am... then when they came, they were sounding their horn and so were we but they said they couldn't hear us at all... my sgt joked that we were in some 3rd dimension... it wasn't really that funny then. haha...

so when they finally arrived, we pulled back the whole canvas sheet [5 of us] and managed to hack and kick and pull the branch till it was bent in a way [coz it was too thick to cut] and we managed to get our way thru... finally got to the deployment ground at like 3am and my sgt went to repair the vehicle while 2 of u s stayed back to clean up the tonner. there was leaves, wood, gunk from the 'accident'... then it started to rain.

-_-;

oh my gosh. so i frantically woke my fren up and we scrambled like idiotic ants-that's-gonna-drown and got the canvas pulled back... like hell lor. it was a 5 man job can!!! haha... but there was still a problem... there was a gaping tear.. so we improvised and managed to collect the rain water in a large box meant to keep our tools and spares... haha...

what an eventful night. :) anyways, exercise finally over and i got half day off to rest... managed to do quite a lot of things this morning. 2 rounds of laundry and washed the car. mwhaha see! life still goes on when the parents are out of town can! heh.

hope everyone's doing ok. the Os are over!!! yayz.. haha i hope to see EVERYONE back in YF... esp those who took their Os... it's time God came back in right? [though it'd have been good if He never left]. :)

Tech Squad

I'll be away from Monday - Thursday.

Army Exercise... i'm still reachable via handphone [pending deployment ground's reception]

take care of yourself and pray for no rain. thanks. See ya people.

My Little breath of fresh air

Today was needed, much needed. Thanks for coming out of your way to meet up. Even if it was just for a few hours, today helped me get my mind off a lot of things that were chocked up since yesterday.

My little breath of fresh air, you are. At least for now, i'm still really appreciative of our frenship and the needlessness to really tell each other how much we appreciate the other's company.

Bowling tml... coming? :)

Princess Dog-ear and Dog Vader?

Oh gosh, this is so cute. haha Random video to make ya smile.
All they do is blink. awww. turn up your volume, the guy's comments are funny too.



Other than that, the week's been pretty ok... had a relatively interesting week of work. Monday and Tues, i had Gedong duty so basically i stayed in gedong overnight doing prowling duty and all.. :) then on wed, we had normal work. went down for prayer meeting at night and i must say that it was quite a nice time of prayer. didn't share anything but yet it still made going for prayer meeting worth it. the small group prayer consisted of debbie and my mum so praying was easier and sharing was more personal too. glad that shalom can still hold its' prayer meetings and though the attendance isn't fab... it's something.

thursday, we had area cleaning the whole morning and then a deeparaya celebration in jurong camp. quite cool the OJE danced an item which made me even more 'gian' to go and learn dancing... met up with my frens from jurong and it was quite a happy time with good food.

Friday, we had some sports in the morning coz it was my bigger bigger boss' unit anniversary... it's like the main body we're attached to... so i met up with some mscc frens and then after that, got a lift back from darren to pasir ris. Came home, showered, picked up the car and drove to pick alvin and reid from tampines. we headed to joo chiat to learn drums with leonard at reid's fren's jamming studio. it was cool la. whacking the drums and getting training from reid.. then we started jamming a bit too coz there was an electric and bass guitar... yeh it was pretty cool. must go and properly jam one day. :)
then after that went for YAF.

YAF this week was uber interesting and i didn't want it to end. we had pastor come speak to us about certain issues and questions we, as yafers, had raised in some earlier session. We raised up stuff like the vision of the church, future leadership, the yaf's aim and goal and some stands the church has that we wanna clarify... like the KJV public reading issue, the lack of Proper In-Depth bible study.... those kinda things.. it was good to jus air our views and hear what Pastor had to say... must say that most, if not everyone, contributed and we ended up ending the session at like 12.30 or so... but i drove so no problems there. haha dropped wei-en, fern and yong jie off then came home.

Saturday, the YF breakout comm had their Flight 93 break out.. we watched a movie which really made us reflect on what would go through our minds if we knew we were about to die. and then what is important to our life? Is God in the picture and are we reaching out to those who have not yet known who Christ is and what he did for us on the cross. coz it's scary. we can go anytime.
Evening, went to jessica's birthday chalet. wow. that girl has changed a bit. her hair is so nice now and she's still got her nice smile and all. it was nice seeing evelyn, cynthia, boon song, emu and goli again... poly frens i haven't seen in so long. :)

yup. i'm off to church now. so yeh. see ya people in a bit.

End of the Week

So this week was quite interesting. Monday to Tuesday i had work and then duty over night... it was kinda alrite. My IC was some nerdy geeky guy who didn't talk much. Though i tried to strike up many conversations, he wasn't one of many words so most of them just stopped after a while. :S haha. that's not the point la coz i cleared the duty fine and got back to camp.

Thurs, last nite, we had a deeparaya celebration at jurong camp. got to catch up with alvin for a bit coz it's the first time we've seen him since he was posted to jurong last week. Glad that he's settling down slowly. I guess i was kinda worried for him too la. new environment and a different kind of work and people he'll be mixing with. But seems like he's doing quite ok there. thank God for that. Well, just pray he'll survive the next 8 months [coz that's all he has left for Army.. spastik] and PASS HIS DRIVING. If you're reading this jia ren, you jolly well pass it before you ORD otherwise i'll hantum you. haha. :)

Food was good last nite and the performances were good too. Our OJE danced and it was really good. coz that brings me to my next point....

I'm gonna take up dancing! GASP. haha i've always kinda wanted to but never found the time or the income to do so. however, now i'm gonna seriously think bout it and go learn. which kind? well... here's a description of 2 kinds that i'm gonna check up on. :)

MTV
Inspired by Justin Timberlake's smooth grooves? Ciara's heart-thumping moves? Can't get enough of those MTVs? Learn it here in this class! MTV is a music video inspired class merging Hip Hop Style with Jazz, bringing to you the hottest, coolest and newest dance styles as seen on TV! What are you waiting for? Join in and dance to the trendiest music around town!

Hip Hop I (Ongoing)
Taught by Patrick Loo, you'll learn new steps and movements in each class. At a beginner's level, Patrick will go easy on you! No experience required.

yup. so cool huh? haha..

anyways, i got promoted to 3SG on wed. woots. ahha thus the extra cash to do stuff like dancing. haha... yuppers. gotta run to work now. catch ya later! take care people.