Doubting His presence

When things start opening up and the light shines through the windows, then do you really get comforted by the fact that yes, God still cares and that He wants to let you know that He's there.

So why can't we remember Him in times of trying and times of uncertainty? Hasn't He proven Himself to us over and over again that there shouldn't be a doubt as to whether God's there? Yet, I find myself struggling over and over again to ask whether this is in line with His will, whether it's what He wants for my life and whether He'll be there to see me through it. :S

I dunch know what it is but i guess that's just my thoughts for now... And it saddens me sumtimes to think that we, as humans, are always doubting the fact that we are humans and not gods. And we're always thinking God's not god but merely someone we turn to when we need.

Mmm ok i'm getting random but i hope i made some sense. Sigh. :)

Regards,
Joel Tan
Brand Experience

Patience

I sometimes wonder to myself whether patience is worth it. Even Jesus got angry when righteously it was ok to be angry about a certain issue. Of course i'm not saying I'm Jesus but there are many times I feel my patience is just tried coz I just suck it in and let it out in a long sigh or a breath...

Consoling myself that it's just a short while till I don't need to worry bout these things.

But why does it seem like it's not worth it? I know snapping back isn't going to solve anything and thus I seldom... But it's not easy taking it and taking it. I'm scared one day, i won't be able to control myself and patience would be a thing of the past. Please God, cause me never to.

Regards,
Joel Tan
Brand Experience

Dance like no one's watching

I watched this episode of Cold Case a few weeks ago about this dude who was killed and only found a few years later. Story behind it was that this dude was an aspiring dancer and his father was very against the idea [bcoz his wife was a dancer and she died so he was all bitter and stuff]... But it really stuck with me because it also touched on the subject of dancing being the-end-of-the-line kinda 'profession' and ultimately not for guys.... But like all good shows, the father did approve at the end bcoz, ironically, he saw his wife in his son and didn't want that to disappear.... So sad that his son ended up dying. But yeh... Besides the point.

Dancing has always been viewed as a lesser form of the arts for males and is normally and commonly associated with the female species. Many have tried to break out of that mould and proved to the world that yes, dancing IS also a guy's art... But my point i'm bringing in today is that with so many MORE types of dance other than ballet... Maybe it's even becoming more and more accepted, socially and mentally, as a uni-sex hobby. Of course, you do get the occassional effeminate guy who prances around the stage in tights and a leotard... But i think it's more than that. Dancing is an expression and an outflow of feelings of a song or a dancer. Some dancers who REALLY put in everything and dance like they do, really portray the feelings of a song and do it wonderfully.

Then of course there are stuff like hiphop, street jazz, ballroom, salsa, breakdancing, j/k pop.... The list goes on. I think that dancing is great and dancing helps you be who you aren't in that little few hours... To feel the song and to, as cliche as this sounds, dance as if no one's watching... That's really something i enjoy and guard jealously. Like the instructor says.... For this hour or so, feel the music and want to be some celebrity or dancer you see on stage. Leave who you are outside the door and don't feel paiseh to dance. Coz if you hold back, you're gonna spoil it all. And i believe that is so true. Thankfully i go dancing alone so it's MUCH easier to leave who i am outside the door and jus go in ready.

Hmmmm. Jus spewing thots coz it's pretty lax at the office today.... And also coz i'm going dancing later. Mwhahha :)
I'm sad to think that this might all end in Nov and i might not be dancing for a while. Maybe I'll try to dance when i've left work. Grinz. So yeh, for those who are interested in joining dance, i recommend StudioWu... They're slow in pace and helpful... Jitterbugs is out of the way [for east siders] and Oschool is just a league on it's own... Too tough for beginners. :)

Dance Like there's no one watching... Coz honestly, no one watches.

Regards,
Joel Tan
Brand Experience

Pic of Desk Updated

Hey, just snapped 2 panoramic shots of my desk at work. It's 2 separate pics that's why u can see where they join.. But the desk is too big to take a nice panoramic shot of the whole table. If i zoom out, then u can't see the details like the pictures and all. Haha

<<desk.jpg>>

Whee! Can u see? There are SO many pics everywhere... My little memories of SingTel and the people i work with i guess. :)

Regards,
Joel Tan
Brand Experience

A Good Friend's Birthday

Thursday's my good friend's birthday. I only knew him thru the army and yet when i saw the facebook reminder, it tore at my heart. Both at how i'm glad it's his birthday and yet how i haven't seen him in such a long time. He was my little project in the army, my commitment to God and my accountability partner in my unit. Glad to know him as a friend and there are so much i wish i could remind him of and laugh about it. Thank God that He brought him back to the faith.

Met up with Lam, [an army fren] today for lunch and when i came back to the office and saw the facebook reminder of my other fren's birthday, i wished that i had met him up for lunch and laughed about the times in the army. How our superior would scold him for asking stupid questions or not knowing how to do simple maintanence tasking. How I would stand up for him and be the middle man between him and the bosses; the role of a sergeant i guess.

I remember how last year when we were still very close, i smsed him on his birthday; This time a year ago. He was stuck having an exercise outfield and i popped him a birthday sms. It was really fun to just poke fun at how he's sharing his birthday with mosquitos and wild boars. Now, a year later and i wish i could drop him an sms telling him how his uni life must be so damn boring or how he must be really sad coz we haven't gone out in a while...

It's good to have friends in life. They remind you of the good times and pull u thru the bad. It aches my heart to know I'll never be able to tell my fren to have a happy birthday. To remember that he passed away from a bike accident in feb. That that last birthday outfield WAS his last birthday. But his memory lives on and his face, we will never forget. Cherish those around you for u never know when we might have our last birthdays either.

Happy Birthday Alvin. I pray you're smiling down from heaven. Share this slice of cake with me and laugh over the times we had. In 2 days, we celebrate your birth, but more so, we celebrate your life. I miss your stupid voice Alvin.

Regards,
Joel Tan
Brand Experience

Part Time Work in Nov

Hi guys,

If anyone of you reading this has a job lobang for November period. Let me know ok. I'm looking for a part time job in Nov that pays $6or more per hour... But i can only commit to Nov.

So if you know of any, let me know. Thanks.
Other than that, it's jus another day at the office. There was a nice breeze when i was walking to work. Quite shiok. Reminded me that Mondays don't always have to be sian-i-fied. :)

Weekend was good. Thank God for a good message by Leonard. Thought i brought home was this:

Being Vs Doing.
If you BE what God wants you to BE, you'll naturally DO what He wants you to DO.
But if you DO what God wants you to DO, that doesn't always mean you're BEING who God wants you to BE.

Like always, it's a heart issue compared to an action issue.

Regards,
Joel Tan
Brand Experience

Webcam's fun

I must say that webcamming with frens jus make the conversation so much "fun-ner" heh.

MSN can't aptly portray the emotions and expression as video can. ahhaha. :) fun fun.
Weekend has been good so far. YF and christmas song practice. :) glad that it's going good i suppose coz i was looking forward to this weekend to break the work week.

totally gonna get it for posting this pic. :) but hey, where's the fun in life if u dun dare to live once in a while.

Blinker Blondes

OH MY GOODNESS. read this. super funny.
Two blondes were driving down the road.

The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

Regards,
Joel Tan
Brand Experience

Nakama

I've been reading to catch up on my bleach manga and it's interesting coz there's this underlying theme that keeps coming up here and there in battles and lull periods of the manga... This word called "nakama". It's meant to refer to a fren who's as close as a brother or sister. Someone you fight to protect, defend to save and are willing to die for.

I personally think it's a powerful expression about how strong bonds are formed amongst people. To think of your life and to think who are your nakama you'd fight to protect. Those people you'd give up your life just to ensure that they have theirs. To fight and go through whatever is necessary for them. Scary to think of what you'd do just so that you know they're safe.

It also made me think of what God did for us. Sent Jesus for us. so much more than what we can ever do to each other as mortals.

It struck me today too that it's been quite a while since i've actually physically done things to show people i care about them. Maybe it could be coz i dun think i believe in 'nakama' being used flippantly nowadays. Maybe it's coz it's just a period of my life that i've mentally chosen to have very few close frens, thus less 'nakama'. But a bit of me tends to prefer this. But i dun wanna go too much into detail coz it'll just defeat the whole idealogy of having close frens. But doing something for someone recently just brought back that joy that i used to have a long time ago. There are lines that you shouldn't cross, but it's a pity when you limit yourself so much [for fear of what people might say or think] that you stop showing you care. Sometimes i think i'd much rather show care to my frens than to listen to what people might gossip or say. Words are cheap, attack someone else.

To those who mean the world to me, my nakama, you'd know who you are and i believe the lord has put you people in my life to give it more purpose than it already has. And i thank God for the blessings he gives me in the forms of angels in my life. Friends are everywhere but i believe that that's where they stop. Nakama aren't found around you, they're found in your heart. And your heart is interestingly not within you, it's found between you and your nakama. It's created and watered everytime you spend time with these close friends of yours and as it grows, it'll only get stronger.

To friends, to my 'nakama's, thanks for seeing me thru frustration, joy, pain... i treasure you and i pray that God would help me to be humble about all of this and to be a nakama to you too.

P.s. Happy Birthday to JiaMin and Debbie.

Regards,
Joel Tan

Holiday Backlot

Holy smoke. I get to work and i receive like a dozen emails with text that go sumthing like

"Joel: Please.... Blahblah"

And i'm like WTH. You go holiday and then throw everything back to me?!?! And it's like quite a lot of emails la.

Sigh. Jus spoils my mood la. Then both of them away. There's a rule where you're not all supposed to disappear at one time lor. Ah heck. Anything wrong i'll jus quit lor. :)

Regards,
Joel Tan
Brand Experience