Changes

It's funny how things can change overnight. You go online and in an interesting twist of events, you get to know someone for the first time. You end up talking... alot and it seems like suddenly, things look different to you. Your other friends get subconsciously replaced with your new friend or new topic at hand and other people seem to just kinda fade into the darkness and vague-ness as all your other friends were and still are. You've got a new clique now and your previously parly frens just dun fit in this equation. Maybe it might just be a 1+1 equation, sumtimes more. I don't know who to pity more... you or your old friends.... maybe, just maybe, the one who's should be pitied most, is your new unsuspecting friend who's just another replacement of the old.

Got to know some friends online last nite thru another friend. it's really complicated but to cut all the long stories and 'WOW THAT'S SO COOL's out... we're all flying on the same flight so instead of jeero and I flying together, now we've got 2 more friends flying with us. Thank God for interesting company coz when we were all talking together, it was just immensely exciting to hear that there are friendly faces... If only they shared the faith, that would be great. but I guess sumtimes, or most times, God puts people in your life so that His Word can be spread thru friendship evangelism rite? :)

So nonetheless, I thank God for new friends and for the fact that in His ways, He's always protecting and upholding me in His hands and His plans. It's surreal that I'm leaving and flying but to know that I'm not going alone [literally and spiritually] is a huge comfort. It's like a sense of security that God places in my heart to know that no matter where I go, what I do, He's there making sure I know He's there and He'll watch over me. :) Wonderful feeling to be a Christian. Heart warming. :)

So yeh, we arranged to physically meet up next week for lunch and to get to know more about each other and our plans... just so that the airport won't be the first time we all physically meet each other. :) So happening. hahaha Oh, i realized too that I've been bringing my camera around to snap here and snap there. It's like i always tell myself, this could be the last time i have a meal-session with this person... i'd like to remember it. SNAP! heh... But i'm trying to steer clear from normal boring posed shots or shots of people... i want my pictures to speak more of the surroundings, the little details we barely notice and a lot of other things.

A.Tsao was telling me that day that when u do 3D or modelling, you really pay attention to the detail of the world around u. there's a lot of things u take for granted, never noticing the intricate details of the things taht surround you. But when you have to make sumting out of nothing and to make it look real, then do you really go around looking at things on a diff plane. :) I totally get what he means and though i can't really appreciate it or fully understand what he means, i know his point and it was quite interesting to just think about it for a moment. like when u look at a pillar, it's not just a rectangle block. it's got texture, form, paint, dirt, insects, shadows, dimensions.... the list goes on forever. :) So cool.

Yup. so just updating my blog coz CNY's not that hectic this year thankfully.. it was actually real fun and relaxing. Thank God for moments like this. 17 more days to go. I dunno how much things will change when I go there.

I asked a fren whether she thinks we'll change when i go overseas... she said yes but failed to elaborate. I kind of have to agree with that... things will change but if it's only one hand clapping trying to keep a frenship going strong, then of course it'll change. What's the point when one has already given up on a frenship? So it reminds me to try my best to not stop clapping. Even if it hurts sumtimes, i dun think they mean to stop clapping, maybe they just find it easier clapping with someone else or things change. :S whatever it is, like the song goes... "They can never have yesterday" Peace Out people! 17 more days!

Death is peaceful, easy. Life is harder - Isabella Marie Swan

Malaysia for CNY

Hey,

I'll be in Malaysia till tuesday night. Don't contact me till then! :)

Happy Lunar New Year to All!
新年快乐!

edit:
Oops! turns out my trip got cancelled at the last minute coz mum couldn't find her passport and everyone decided that we'd rather have steamboat here in spore with her than there without her. :) now everyone in unison... awwwww. :) yup yayz. haha

Lives like Tents

Went to Matthew's Grandmother's wake last night and the preacher gave a exhortation for the late Mdm Yap... I liked the imagery that he used. He likened our earthly lives to a Tent... well not he, but Paul...

1> For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
2> For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling,
3> if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked.
4> For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.
5> He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee
6> So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord,
7> for we walk by faith, not by sight.
8> Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.
9> So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him.
10> For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.
2 Corinthians 5:1-10

And i thot that the points he raised here were quite good... The image of a tent, the ones we see at East Coast, are temporal. We pitch up a tent only to stay a few nights. The dwelling isn't very comfortable, it's a make do thing while we await to return home. We set up tent to brave the winds and the rain, the trials of life that beat upon the flimsy frail body of our tent. It gives us a place to withstand these things but we know that once they are over, one day, we will take down our tent and go home.
It's not only temporal but it's not perfect. The material a tent is made of is fragile and can be broken. Each day of our lives, we waste away toward that day when we will go home. To a home built with bricks and stone, structure and form. Perfect nonetheless as compared to whatever tentage we have now. When we pack up this tent, we will go home to a body that is perfect and holy, unbreakable and true.

While we are here, we groan... we groan coz we want to go home, we groan coz it's not comfortable, there are mosquitoes, flies, sand, wind, rain.... but in our home, we will be safe, comforted, protected and we will be rejoicing for there are no longer any needs to groan. We will not be sick, we will not be hurt, we will not be sad for no sorrow and no pain is in the heavenly realm of God.

God has given us the Holy Spirit as a gaurantee... it's like placing a deposit on a big expensive item. we place a deposit to show we're serious about this purchase. To show that we will one day finish the payment and bring this piece of furniture home. God has yet to complete our payment and bring us home. He paid the deposit of Christ' death and the Holy Spirit to promise us that He is serious about this purchase and that He will one day finish the payment and call us home.

Yup. jus some points that i recall from his short exhortation. It really does sound true and comforting to know that we may move houses 10 times in our lifetime, maybe even more, but there is one permanent move that we will make which will finish all the previous moves. And that is to move to be with God in Heaven.

Brethren, take comfort to know that the Lord of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is the same God of you. He is the same, yesterday, today and forever and there is nothing in this world that can take His love from you. Although we await our home going to be with Him in glory, let's make the best of our time here on earth. To serve Him, preach His Word and help other people have a home to go to when they unpitch their tents. Let's not be selfish campers just waiting for the camping trip to be over. Let's be people on the way home and willing to stop by and show others the way back home too.

May God bless you as you read this and may the Lord cause you to meditate upon His whispers in your life.

Slush sloosh

I always manage to find some way of screwing things up.

Worried....

It's scary when things can worry u so much that u start imagining things... and recently, i was quite worried for someone and some stuff that was going on... it got me worried coz i thot it might have been becoz of something i said, or didn't say... or sumthing i did or didn't do... u know... yeh that's when i started imagining things and all that jazz...

but then today i found out that it was not anything to do with me. i still worry coz this fren of mine is going thru a real tough time... and i guess it sucks coz i can't really help... it's beyond me... but all i can do is pray.. that everything works out and that my fren can rely on God during this time.

ToMyFren:
You and they are in my prayers. Only God knows how much u're struggling with right now and i'm sure He will work out whatever is the best solution for u now. Know that He will never leave you nor forsake u and that all things work together for good to them that love Him. So love Him and seek His will for your life and what happens now. Wish i could help u more but u know my restrictions and the reasons why i can't. I've been worried sick so knowing that everything's ok is such a relief but i still do hope that everything turns out proper and ok. Control yourself, love them and seek God first and formost. You know how to find me. Breathe deep, Be Safe and remember that God is with u.



And to my other fren who just lost someone close... i'm really sorry bout your loss.. you are a strong christian and i know that God will keep you and your family in His loving and gracious arms... rest upon Him and know that u can always pop me when u need. Glad that you saw her the afternoon that she passed and glad that u were able to speak to her before she left us but i guess God gave u that chance and i'm glad u didn't decide not to go... I'm sorry that things are like this but i hope that you and your family can lean upon God and draw peace from Him during this time of bereavement.

FujiFilm FinePix F100fd

Mwhehe. Guess who's the proud owner of a Fuji F100fd DigiCam?!?!? :) I got some recommendations from friends and went to research online for digicam reviews[click and read if u have time]... turns out that this camera seems to be quite top of the notch [click and read if u have time] yet pretty affordable... it only bust my budget by a bit... [self consoling fact] and it seems to have very little [if not negligible] bad points... such as the weight is a bit heavier than some compacts and the flash is at a location that some people might block with their fat fingers...

So here it is... the Fuji F1oofd



I hearts it quite a bit in the sense that it's my first ever digicam... my family has never owned a digicam before [other than one that was given free when we pumped petrol a long long time ago]... but that doesn't count la... then we've been surviving on a camera we stole borrowed from my aunt... but that has been giving problems with the battery. :S so yeh, buying a digicam was quite a big step for me and us... but it was highly justified by the fact that my handphone camera is 3.2mp and i'm going overseas... thus the need to SPAM everyone with nice overseas shots...

So that's besides the point... the reviews all spoke of how this camera was supposedly top notch and an ISO above the rest... u see, this cam can go up to a whopping 12,800 ISO rate... normal cams go up to about 3,200... or maybe 6,400.... so yeh, this was scary... great great great for taking night shots coz they really let in light while still compensating for the dark detail. :) niceeee.... and also i was originally looking for a 8.1mp camera... this turned out to be 12.0... lolz... ok so yeh, apart from that, it's got wideangle lens [very few compacts offer this] and a 5x zoom... woo! guess i dun need to look like an idiot ramming my cam into your face...

Yup.. a whole slew of other funky stuff like intelligent face recog v2.0 and 12 different kinds of shoot mode including sports mode, portrait mode, portrait enhancer [which makes your face look blemish free... but not my face coz it's too jialat] and other stuff like this that make this camera a chock-a-block value for money. Enuf bout the features... i went to harvey norman that day with M.Ho and ZQ.Yeo and grabbed a feel of how it felt like. the weight wasn't as bad as i imagined, i didn't even think it was heavy... although when my dad picked it up today when we were buying it, he said.. mmm heavier.... :S hahaha.. but yeh, played around with it a bit and then i asked the price... told me islandwide fuji promo is $549... showed me a flyer and showed me all the freebies they're throwing in... so i was like.. oh ok la... not bad.. but i'll KIV... obviously... i had to go thru my parents. and Q-man was being an idiot telling me how i should have jus bought it there and then since i knew i wanted it... and of course thru the night he kept reminding me how i could have been snapping away... coz we went to places like esplanade and fullerton and all that scenic places... idiot. anyways... yeh. went home and basically got a NO from the parents coz it was over the budget... i was ready to fund it myself but of course i'd let myself have some time to convince myself i didn't need such an ex camera...

Then the next day, parents said we'll go simlim tomolo [today] to have a look see... and since this blog entry is SOOO long.. i shall stop soon.
Went there today after researching which place is the best and ended up getting the camera [with all of harvey norman's dumb freebies] at a super super good price. parents didn't even think twice... they just said, "ok... black looks nicer.. i dunno all bout the features so na, u play around with it".... but i already did so it was quite a good buy... we got an extra batt too jus in case... :) and dad bargained down the price of the batt too.. so overall, it was a really 'thank God i didn't buy at harvey norman' moment. :)

So yeh.. i've said enuf. i'm real happy at the buy and i'm so glad that now i can have free reign to go snap away. i promise to upload and update... this will be an exciting time and i want whoever is interested to journey with me thru pics and videos. :) 30 days!!!! :P

---

Edit... here's a pic i snapped with the fuji... it's all charged! :)

Too Much Giving

Thots popped in my head this morning... How much do you give to still protect yourself?

you know, chien chong was speaking to us at yf a few weeks ago about how a leader shouldn't take and take but should give... and give... and i agreed with him about that.. but in my mind, the nagging doubt of how much is too much kept springing up... like what do u do when u give and give and give till u have nothing left for yourself or nothing left.. but yet u still give...

I know myself... and i have seen myself in situations where i've given to the point that it jus leaves me so empty and open to attacks... well not attacks but situations where i realize i've got nothing to hold on to in case sumthing goes wrong... and yet i still dun really learn my lesson? in a r/s with someone or in service... there has to be a point u should stop and stand your ground and stop giving... there has to be a limit where u say, enuf giving, if i give anymore, i'd lose myself and my 'security' with it... right?

Then yet the more i think about it, the more i feel that if u dun make yourself vulnerable to someone, the more they won't make themselves vulnerable to u... but i guess that's what makes it a risky business... if emotions and feelings and trust aren't involved in a r/s btwn 2 of more people, then the r/s is only surface level. But the problem too is that if u leave yourself vulnerable, u only EXPECT them to also do the same. and when that expectation is not met, that's when u feel like u've invested time for naught.

So here i am again at a crossroad... how much do u want to give Rui.... dun lose yourself, but more imptly, dun lose God.

Japanese Marshmallow eating game

Oh my sky. this is SO hilarious. i was laughing so hard... tearing away lor. ahahhaha check it out.

Handmade Flowers

Hey guys, my fren makes handmade flowers and i think she's real good at them. i'm a poor little single boy so i dun have AS MUCH use for it as most attached people.

Feb 14th is coming. maybe u guys wanna take some time to jus look thru the website. it's one page, very simple and straight forward..

Claire's handmade flowers

do me and my fren a favour la. jus click it and let me know if u're interested. i'll pass ur order to her. or u can email her direct. :)
thanks!!!

BAYFGM 09

Today was quite good... we had our BAYFGM. We really were lookin forward to this event coz the exco had planned up a short little skit that would take us through the previous 6 months. :) It was cute and fun to act along and so we were hoping that not only would the YFers walk with us thru the last 6 months but also be highly entertained by what we presented. I personally was looking forward to how many parents would come and this year didn't disappoint either. we had roughly about 8-10 parents there today... a huge encouragement to me since most of them were not the normal ones we see all the time at AGMs or Elections. :)

Yup, i must say that M.Chan was really nervous about the whole AGM, and even yesterday during the dry run, she was still not sure of what to say and how to say it. but today, wow. i must say, she was highly impressive and it was really something that i was shocked by. When she presented her parts of the AGM, it was like she had no problems whatsoever. :) was really proud of her for that and I hope that the Lord will give her more opportunities to share and conduct public speaking. :) Good on you girl! knew u could do it.

Yarh, then after that, we had exco meeting and it was pretty hard to get our brains back on track coz we were all quite tired. :) but we managed to finish that and now i'm back home on a lazy saturday afternoon blogging and camming. :) Just had a bowl of Pulot Hitam Island Creamery ice cream... mmmm heaven in a bowl.. or close to it. haha

And now, i've got nothing planned up for today. yayz. hahah kinda tired but obviously i'll stay online to chat and stuff. :) haiz. tomolo might pop by army camp... see how. :)

Tired Fingers, thick hair

You know your hair is getting long and thick when your fingers start aching from the volume while shampoo-ing your hair.

tired fingers... but ah, i love the smell of my conditioner... mmm herbal essence orange flavour... mmmmm niceeeee.

it's in a bad stage now though. not short, not long.... faster grow faster!!! and this time, i'm not going to let some hair dresser ruin it again. :)

p.s. visa's confirmed. nothing stands in the way between me and my future studies. :) yayz.
37 days to go.

TOTALLY RANDOM POST

Ok so this post is going to be totally random... like the things that pop into my head would be translated to words. dun worry, i'll try not to let this be too long.

fish in the supermarket today weren't fresh. my balcony's kinda dirty coz everytime i step out to open the door, i take as little steps as possible. sky's pretty cloudy today, hope it doesn't rain. oh i'm going dancing today, 3 hours worth; hope i dun die. Hmmm maybe i should change my sms ringtone, getting stale. Bought bread today that was fluffy and nice. my floor fan's kinda cute, it moves when the wind blows but it's not on. ugly bobble head dolls on my table scare me. staring is a hobby, so sue me i like it. why do i have a torchlight on my desk when it doesn't work.

visa's taking too long to process, getting worried. signed up for unlimited dance classes today! woo! applied for overseas trip notifcation with the SAF, still need to call my unit to confirm it. i'm taking too long to read eclipse, keep getting distracted. sms just came thru, let me read. i love driving, and i'm going to miss it.

talking bout miss, i'll miss people, surely. But time and distance won't separate us i guess. effort, it's all about initiative and effort. hearing a person's voice is so much better than reading text. random blog posts are SO nonsensical but fun to do from time to time.

-fin-

40 Days

So i had dinner today with M.Seah, M.Ho and L.Kwan... the Melb people... wow. it was fun coz finally everyone could meet everyone and things would slowly feel like it's actually happening... i guess when i went to do the visas and the medical check ups and the applications, it still didn't really sink in yet... and i guess it still hasn't sunk in titanic style yet.. but i guess my departure, as quickly as it approaches, is heralding its date by feelings of excitement.

Today during dinner, just talkin bout the food we'll be eating there, the places we'll be going to, the stuff we'll be studying... it was jus so cool. We brought the baked rice to the poolside and there was a nice breeze there... jus the 4 of us... the 2 Uni of Melb guys and the 2 RMIT girls... and i was thinking, it's going to be like this over there... sittin there having a meal... all of us.. jus chilling and enjoying each other's company. :)

Guess there are lots of things that could change and people to meet... i had a fren who was scaring me today by saying stupid stuff like how i'll go there and meet new people or get too busy with my life that i'll find some other fren to talk to and some other person to spend time with... and that my fren now would be replaced... haiz. stupid fren. u know who u are i'm sure...
I dun deny that things will be different and yes i'll be busy... we might not chat or talk as much as we do now coz of the change in environment and all. but my frens are always frens and if u were special to me once, u'll always be special to me.... stupid worries i guess. but i pray that God will allow me to keep in touch with people coz i'd hate to drift from people... it's natural i suppose, out of sight, out of mind.

yup... so as the date draws nearer, i pray God will prepare me and remind me that i'm not going alone.. but with Him, and He's more than enough for me. :)

To Bella

Inspired by Twilight. Dun read coz it prob contains spoilers.

To Bella...

And so Edward said to Bella, 4 hours sounds like a very long time to wait for you. But Edward knew in his head that that 4 hours would be as long to him as it was going to be to her.
He sniffed and strained to smell the air. Alas, it's still as stale as it is. Knowing he hadn't much time, especially tonite, to continue on his conversations with Bella, he tried to redeem whatever time he had left with her.

He said, Bella, I may not always know how to react to you and sometimes i can't. But know that you are my life now and my world is slowly but surely revolving around you. I find you very fascinating and interesting. I could watch you all day and still not know what goes on in your head. I wish i could read your thots and feel your heart. Bella, i'll stay with you till u sleep and make sure that nothing ever harms you. When you're with me, my world feels that much more complete and even though i'm so much older than you, when we talk, i feel like the age isn't an issue at all. If i had my way, i'd spend eternity looking at you.

And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
What a stupid lamb
What a sick, masochistic lion

Lord I offer my life to You

Today during service, this song really spoke to me and made me rethink on alot of things in my life. Recently J.Lim came up to me and reminded me [thanks ah chao ah lian] that it not only is my 6th year serving in the YF Exco.... but she was asking me whether i ever get tired of serving and stuff... but i told her that every year is different and every year has different people too so it's not like 6 years but 6 different years of different service. That in itself is enuf to motivate me to another year of service but Regardless of all said and done, only God has brought us all thru... the YF has really grown and changed over these years and I thank God only for that. :)

However, today during the service, this song spoke to me about how we should be serving God with our lives. what do we have that is not already His... that reminded me never to horde whatever we have because ultimately, what are we grasping onto so tightly? It belonged to the Lord and we should use it for His glory. :)
Also, I pray that as we serve God, we avail ourselves to serve God.

Oh no, michelle is scolding me for blogging now. hahaha ok so here, hope u're edified by the song.

Lord, I Offer My Life to You
Verse 1:
All that I am, all that I have
I lay them down before You O Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaim
The joy and the pain, I'm making them Yours

CHORUS:
Lord I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for Your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life

Verse 2:
Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to You

Happy New Year!

Yo yo... it's 2009!!! 4.34am of the first day of this new year. wow. 2009. the last time we can write 1 digit as the year! soon it'll be 2010 and things would have been so different.

As i think back on 2008, the things that brought me joy and pain, laughter and tears... i remember that God was with me all the way and thru it all, He's never given up on me. I think it's during times like this where i sit back and wonder to myself how God, the creator of the world and my heavenly father, can bother with someone like me. I've sinned much and lost sight of Him so many times... and yet He still forgives and loves me for all my flaws.

And that's sumthing that rang true to me in 2008. When i left the army, i thot it'd be tough to get back to reality and stuff but i guess God provided and gave me what i needed to pull thru to 2009. And as i sit here in the chapel, with youths all around sleeping coz it's the new year's stay over, i thank God for giving me frens around who remind me of His love and grace. The service reminded me never to think of my struggles and issues as too big for God and to always look for chances that i can encourage people or help them thru a struggle in their lives. :) At times i wonder to myself how much i'll miss this warm community of believers and how much of this will be taken from me in a few months time. :) but i guess that's why God puts them here in your life, so u'll treasure them and cherish the time u have on this earth. :)

Yup. so a blessed 2009 to everyone and may God be merciful, gracious and blessed on all you. :)