Remembering Friends

Just penning down some thoughts because i haven't been doing that in a long time and also coz things have made me think of certain issues. I recently picked up a journal i used to have a long time [2 years] ago and reading what i wrote, i chuckled at my sillyness about some stuff and reflected on other.

What struck me the most actually was how much i treasured a friendship i had back then. I wrote how much i thanked God for it and how it has made me closer to God and stuff... and sad to say, i barely have friendships THAT significant nowadays let alone friendships that so obviously point me to God. maybe it's coz of who i am now and how much i've changed [if i have] or maybe it's jus coz i'm more jaded with life and friends. I dunch really know but i guess things do look they're going on an uphill climb. from here on forth, i see a road that's kinda set before me that will take effort and dedication, but i plan on taking that route up because it doesn't make sense to stay here in the valley. But i know that initiative is everything and initiative in the right friendships. More so than not, i dun seek God first in a friendship [in the sense that it isn't the top priority when i decide on how to spend my time with a friend]... but i pray that God will soften my heart and let me hear Him when He speaks to me. I know these all sound random and haphazard but i pray that God will focus my thots by blogging.

Friends change, friends leave, friends come back. i'm just glad that God doesn't and that friends who point me to God don't leave God coz if they do, i dun really know how i'd get back there. To summarize it all, i'm glad that accountability is coming back and trust and honesty will be closer to home than it was before. Glad that once it's come back to me and once it's all back to normal, i'll continue to live a live accountable to a fren and more importantly, God. May we FOCUS on being who we are in this world with the help of those around us.

And a friend's a friend forever, if the Lord the lord of them.
And a friend will not say never coz the welcome never ends.
Though it's hard to let you go, in the Father's hands we know.
That a lifetime's not too long, to live as friends.

LR thots

LR was great. as always. apart from some issues that were seriously bugging me bad, i think it's jus Satan's way of putting distractions in my mind so that i couldn't/wouldn't focus on God and the work He's doing in Shalom. But thank God that He can always turn a bad thing into something blessed for His purpose... so in the end, everything was ok and i was able to change my outlook of things and make sure LR worked for me and the rest of the exco. i just wanted the exco to be able to spend time together as an exco and bond so that we could face problems next time with one mind and one idea.

I changed my personality profile. shocking enuf, i'm no longer a high I... but i think i should do the PROPER test la. the one we did was super not enuf and totally... DUH... it's like... today i feel like being a D therefore i shall ans all the column 1 answers with a high rating... duhz... lame la. but i tried my best to answer it properly and now i'm a S-I... which is interesting coz ju and cheryl seemed to think i'm a higher C than a year ago. i agree... and i think i attribute that change of character to 3 things... Being Chair last time, being secretary now and growing old. yes... growing old... maturity sumtimes saps some I-ness away from you... but like i told them, i want to be a high S instead of I... why? i'm not too sure. guess i'm jus kinda tired of being labelled highly enthusiastic and ignorant to other things around me. it's time to pass on the flame and let others have a shot at being the crazy limelight one. i'm more quiet now and though there are many times, when the situation calls for, i can still invoke my high I-ness and shamelessly do something, i think it's more of a character quality i can call up instead of it being me. :) so it's like a skill more than a character now. not sure.

other than that, as of today.. i've for 27 more days in the army. i'm really looking forward to gettin out coz i guess i'm a bit jaded and sick of the life there. there's been lots happening at my camp and they've really strained a lot of the relationships of the men and the leaders and stuff. and i jus want to leave it all coz it's really taking a lot of my time, emotions and friendships away from me. good news is, the workload of the workshop is gonna hit a high period soon so we're going to be working our butts off... jus before i ord... so yeh, i have no idea how to clear the remaining measley 4.5days of off and leave before i ord. yup, it's that sad. haiz. whatever rite? 27 more days. jus bite the bullet rui... ok, not literally coz that could get me charged.
*p.s. i have NO idea how people can go 2 and a half years here. dun even talk bout signing on.*

yup. so my life's been like that la. nothing much happening i guess. jus wondering how things will change in a year's time. quite a huge change for me.. but we'll see.

yup, i got much to do actually... so blogging is really not sumthing i should be doing now. but i know it's been forever since i did. so here's the much anticipated [yeh rite] post... oh... i bought a new pair of pumas... first ever. :) ducati can. haha check it out.



have a good weekend peeps!

Off to LR! Leader's Retreat

Hey peeps... i'm off to a 3 day in depth focus on God's Word and the YF. :) Yup! It's our annual YF Leader's Retreat once again. I can't say how much i'm looking forward to this camp too. guess it's a bit coz of how i need to discipline myself and these camps normally do the job... and of course coz it's for the youth too la. the reason we plan things, the people we reach out to and the things we do are for the youths. :)

So keep us in prayer as we brainstorm activities and the focus for the next YF year!
Benjamin, Zhi Han, Rui, Cheryl, Julia, Arthur, Jamie, Michelle.

Glory to God above!

Reflections on Church Camp 2008

Glad that i'm all back safe and sound from church camp. this is surely one church camp i'll remember for a long time. not so much because of the people and the activities we did in camp but more coz of the planning of the camp and the things i learnt in the camp.

First of all, i must say that this year has been ultra tiring and very often quite stressful. I thought that publicity wouldn't be so busy during camp itself but since everyone was pretty busy, i took over roles that really took up my time. i'm not complaining here, i'm jus recollecting the experiences in camp. Yeh so throughout the camp i was running here and there making things happen seaminglessly. :) it was pretty stressful seriously... making sure that everything ran according to schedule and stuff.. really didn't have free time at all except the last day... but then again, that was only an hour coz the rest was taken up. Nonetheless, i still managed to find time to go to the gym twice. YAYZ. hmm i should go to my home gym too la. but no time now. shucks. stupid random thot. anyhoo... thank God that everything went well coz it wasn't easy shuttling from projector to guitar to zen [to record messages] to stage for HOOKs and SKITs and back to my seat to copy notes for the workshop after the sermon. :)

And then the other issue bout this year's church camp that i'll remember isn't really a sweet memory. it's more of a confirmation to me. to not be so distracted by the people around me. Focusing on God [even in church camp] can be so hard. So often, i confess, i get lost thinking what others might think or what others might wanna do before i ask what God wants me to do or what God thinks [if He does even need to think] at that point of time. Sometimes bad thoughts creep into my head and then my thots gets turned from God to that bad thot... and it's not good coz it's fruitless thinking. There are always easier things to do than to worry bout what my brain tells me but i just can't help it sometimes, i'm human and humans fail and fall.
Just need to be more focused on the right things and not be distracted on the way.

Glad that quite a number of youth could make it for church camp. Their presence really did play a big part in the ultimate enjoyment of camp. Tiang was a fabulous roommate. ass. locked me out on the last day coz he was such a log sleeping away while i was furiously spamming the doorbell outside for 20 minutes. ahha... haiz. what to do? he was tired, can't blame him totally.

So yeh, here i am, back to reality. Back from the retreat with God and His people. everyone wishes it could last longer but God calls us to a short retreat and thus, we should all enjoy how much time we've been given. Just that sometimes when we're thrown back into this world, the distractions get so much louder than His small voice. Just hope that i can keep trusting God and focusing on Him. don't wanna lose it.

p.s. photos from church camp will be up shortly.

LEADER'S RETREAT IN 2 WEEKS!!! WOOTZ!

At Church Camp 2008

So, as I hoped, there's internet here and i planned to blog one day during the camp. At least to jus say that i've blogged from malaysia, saujana... so here's the post... finally have some spect of free time... waiting for e.kang to come down to my room now so we can go practice for tonite... putting up a skit that apparently a lot of people like [thank God for that] and so we're working on expanding it all for the sake of humiliation, shamefulness and a good time.... of course those are all on our part, all they do is laugh. :)

But church camp has been a blast... really... it's been fun and tiring all at the same time and like always, i never want it to end. just glad that i'm able to enjoy myself and learn more bout God and the Scripture. I really do wish i could spend more time with certain people and less time in debrief meetings are rehearsals for some skit like the one i'll have real soon... but you know, someone's gotta do it. :)

so yeh, i think i have learnt quite a bit from the camp, from running it and seeing how it's run in the background. We all know how camps are run but when we run a christian camp for our home church, there are lots of things we need to be sensitive about, and we sometimes really see the bad side of people... just reminds me that Man can fail us or disappoint us but God never.

Hoped that during this church camp i wouldn't be too distracted. oki gotta go. ciaoz!

Off to church camp!

Hey hey hey! guess who's finally getting a break from army life and everything else singapore related? Let me give u a hint...

ME!

mwhaha! yuppers. i'll be out of your life and uncontactable by phone from the 2nd to the 6th of june. I hear there's internet so i'll prob still be online when i can... and if there's really sumthing SUPER urgent, email me... but please, allow me to run away from you for just ONE week... please? haha..

yup! i can't wait to go tomolo.. been dying for church camp since well... since the last one ended i suppose. haha... yayz. it's been a year of waiting and a year since HANsome and RUIdiant was formed. amazing huh? but well, time flies... so yup, jus posting to say i'm not around. don't call me.

Take care yo!