YF BBQ

Wow... last nite was smashing. it was a real treat seeing many new faces and some old ones we don't normally see. :) It was an ultra busy day for me with many many things to accomplish. Thankfully everything was done on time and i guess nothing went wrong. :) thank God for His providence in keeping everything within His plan and ours too. haha...

Special mention goes out to Julia, Michelle and Abigail for leading worship with me.. they did a splendid job and it was really... great seeing how they jus were so willing to share and be open about what to say. could tell they were kinda nervous too... but they did really well la. and thank God for the new refreshing change in worship. :)

saw many new people too.. some friends of friends and stuff like that... Vera, Chelsea, Alicia, Jamie all came!!! was really glad to see each and every one of them la... hope that they'll be able to come for sumthing else too... like youth camp. hehe... we'll see. :) heh...

yeh, jus wanna blog bout the bbq and how everything went well, was able to lead well and do the ppt out and stuff. :) yup. gtg. ciaoz.

Carrying On with what's left

First of all, this post is dedicated to my dearest Mei, Jamie...

Happy Birthday my dear Mei. May the Lord watch and bless you in the coming year as you continue to dedicate your life to our loving Lord and Saviour. Continue to shine and be a blessing to those around you... in other words, keep up the good work. haha Hugz!

Thanks to everyone who cared and still care. Doncha worry... as i said, i'm fine... just wanted to make sure i got my focus right.

For those who asked, i'm really sorry that i can't tell ya what's going on or how i'm feeling. It's something i gotta sort out with God and no one else... at least for now la.

Kinda glad that i'm being tested by God this way actually. i mean, who likes tests right? but it's only thru these times where you learn the most about His character and faithfulness... i think times like this teach you lessons that no sermon or discussion can ever try to match. when it's personal, it goes to the heart and stays there... so i'm gonna be blessed after everything in the sense that i'll be able to have the hope of knowing God just that bit more.

i guess when there's nothing you can do about a situation, the helplessness of it all makes ya lean on Him only... and when that happens, dun be surprised to see daily miracles of His providence, His grace and love... slowly.

So other than that, i'm busy busy busy for tomolo's YF... well, by now it'll be today's YF. got to plan worship, slide show, poster for yf camp, and many many other stuff. sigh but it's ok... at least i'll get to have a fun fun time at the bbq... managed to get Vera, Chelsea and Alicia to come for the bbq la.. it's gonna be so like last time... jamie, chelsea, vera... like youth camp. haha.. sigh. it's been a while.

yup. enjoying time with God during my mornings too. :) the journey to camp everyday means more and more with each passing day spent with God in the MRT. haha... We dunno how long we have on this earth... are we using every moment we can to prepare ourselves for eternity?

Silver Linings

I'm doing ok. I'll be fine. Stop asking.

Today God showed me a different side to look at my situation now. thots that ran thru my head today.

1. God's taken away the one thing that was in between Him and me. Now, I go straight to Him only.
2. He's shown me that if I say i'm willing to lay all my life for Him, i DO mean ALL.
3. Although i can't talk to anyone about this, God is there and that should be enough. why am i complaining?
4. Every cloud has a silver lining and every day has a brighter tomorrow.

and finally, the most impt positive thot today...

5. It could be much worse.

HAHAHA..

i'm fine. thanks for caring, tagging, msning.. whatever-ing... :) I'm sorry i can't share or tell you... but i gotta get thru this alone with God.. it's my little alone time with Him. Jacob had his alone wrestling time, i'm just asking for mine now. :)

See you guys when i do. :) can't wait.

Left Behind

it's funny. i have no mood to blog. yet... i dun wanna forget anything that's going on in my mind. apologies people but this one can't be published to the public evil internet eye.

it's just that today, some part of me died coz of some stuff. funny... some part of me keeps dying... wonder how much is there left...

just know that i'll be a bit off sorts for a short while. going to run away and do some sole soul searching. leave ya with a few nice words running thru my head now... plus some lyrics.


"the problem with building your life around someone, is that if that someone isn't God... be prepared for it to crumble one day."
"don't expect or hope. it only leaves you to be disappointed"
"because of you, i never stray too far from the side walk... Because of you i dunno how to let anyone else in... Because of you, i'm ashamed of my life because it's empty... Because of you i am afraid."

Sorry world, friends... i'm just not able to be me right now. I'm fine, dun worry. i just dun wanna blog when i'm not me.

Bye Bye Thailand

Tik, Sab and Golf during our last church service.


Golf, Tik and Me in the car to Harbour Front.


The 3 host families with our kids. [i'm taking the photo]


The Tans and our lovely guests.


Golf, Tik, Sab and I. Friends across countries.

Just like that, the three days flew by so quickly. It seems like just yesterday that i stood up after service on the 8th of Oct. Looking at the group of 22 Thai students wondering to myself which kids are ours... i remember sitting there joking with Kenneth and Hsiao Yun about this being like some adoption day... how nervous parents are just waiting to see who they're gonna be including in their lives. We met them up and then poof, here we are, standing at Harbour front saying bye for the last time in God knows when... sigh. it was sad.

But i'm really glad that they came into our lives for these 3 days... they were special in their own little way.

Tik - So fun, so enthusiastic and so smiley. three words that remind me of tik. She was quite a bright change from the rest of them. The thais were quite quiet actually... but Tik was quite noisy in the sense that once she got comfortable with us, you could really see her real personality coming out. always see her eyes going really big and then she'll burst out laughing la... haha.. even if it was in the small stuff like comparing how much a Mitsubishi Lancer costs here as compared to Thailand. One brand that i'll always link to her is Volkswagen. :) when i see a beetle, i'll remember my thai fren.

Golf [pronounced GAAF.. like Gafffield] - She was sweet. Really demure and her eyes were just something you could get lost in. Never one to be rude or even less than polite, she'd eat anything we give her and all she would say was "yes. yes.". joked with my family that that's all she knows... but no la, she's actually quite acquainted with her surroundings... just that she's more introverted than Tik is la... good mix i say. :) Glad to have her as my guest la, surely no doubts about it. prob the easier one of the two to satisfy whenever we tried to ask what they wanted to eat or do. :)

Yup, so they leave tml at 4pm... sadly i can't be there to send them off... but i guess i might see them again next time in emails or what... just kinda sad to see them go just when everyone was getting familiar with each other. :) Pray that the message will grow in their hearts. That even though Tik's father's against her converting to Christianity or what, pray that one day, if she does one day believe what Aunty Belinda says is true, then she'll find a way to serve God and her family.

Sigh. Bye Tik, Golf & Drum [Kenneth's kid]... you guys have touched me in the smallest yet biggest way. :)

Tik and Golf, the 2 Thai students I'm hosting.


They sure had fun cycling.


Group shot. My dad's taking the photo so he's not in this.

Yeh, i jus came back from East Coast park. we brought the 2 girls cycling this morning. this is a super short entry coz i gotta rush off for the weddin in church now. :) but i had fun blading and trying hard to keep conversations alive coz their english is quite... hmm tough. :) but yeh, glad that my mum decided to make the commitment and host them. :)

Cheers Beer

Super funny advert. watch it with sound. the music is super funny... really worth the 1 minute of your time. :)

Dreams

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Dreams... i wonder what they mean. sum say that they are the workings of your subconscious wishes taking a life in your subconscious mind...
Dictionary.com defines dreams as

• A series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.
• A wild fancy or hope.

Interesting that they group the two under the same word though. well, to me... i think dreams are just plain confusing. they mess your mind up wondering whether what you dreamt makes sense and whether you should let it affect your life. Take for example me, i had a dream last night that i know is surely not sumthing that has already happened... whether it's GONNA happen, i dunno. prob not coz the circumstances and environments aren't really.. realistically possible. but what it means to me or how it has affected me is a different matter altogether. i'm doing fine dun worry [i hate putting these disclaimers everytime i type out a serious thot-provoking entry]... but i was just wondering whether dreams do play a part in making decisions.

Let's say you dream sumone died. the next decision upon waking up has to be to check with yourself and maybe that person whether they are doing fine. you know for a fact that nothing your dreamt could have affected the real realm of the world... but yet that un-nerving feeling within you screams at you to just drop them a sms or what. i've had that before. it freaked me quite bad when i woke and i couldn't like, say my morning prayers coz of it. but you know deep down that the person you dreamt of is fine... yet you can't settle your soul down. intriguing. no?

Now what if you dreamt of sumthing that you long for or hope for... long for sounds really extreme... now how that will affect your decision is more... real... you start considering whatever you hoped for as a possibility coz of a dream. now that's not right issit? the circumstances or situation in real life hasn't changed a bit.. yet your mentality towards that thing has gotten... hmmm hope?.. like it has fuelled your desire or motivation for that certain goal... and why? well, coz you dreamt it's possible...

now tell me, isn't that dangerous... isn't taking actions after dreaming... not good for you? :)

i'm telling myself. yet similarly, i can't seem to settle my soul. Dreams confuse me, yet i dun think i would wanna live without them. all i need is a Joseph.. no, i take that back... all i need is God. i dun really need an interpreter... i need the Dreamgiver. :)

intriguing, interesting... no? i say yes. mind blowing actually.

Just sum updates

hey peeps. life hasn't been too happening as of late. nuthing much to report. :) been hooked on this manga called Death Note... familiar? well, there's a movie coming out real soon. 19th oct. it's by real people la, not cartoons... so wanted to read up and do some research on the manga it's based on... and trust me, it's addictive. :) yeah so i'm quite a fan now. it's quite cool coz it's very intelligent. like CSI... hhahaha hmm... yeh.

This is my current wally.. pretty neat no?

Soon to be my next wally. :) jus waiting to be used.

other than that, CF recently had our mooncake eating festival at Sing's rooftop garden. it was real fun and we all had fun. abel, meliza and alwyn really did a great job leading and organizing the whole event. i was really glad and thankful that they did such a smashing job. here's a pic of the SP full force plus me and the cute janelle [baby].

Click for larger pic. SP CF and me.

Yuppers. it was a really fun time. when i get more pics, i'll send it la. but not sure who's camera was taking photos. haha

yeh. so jus dropping by to say that i'm still alive and kicking. mundane work week i guess.. thank God i'm surviving coz this week was a busy week with regards to after camp time... every evening was packed... so i've been quite tired. :) thank God for Him sustaining me though... really needed his help.