Communication and Trust

So here i am, waiting for a fren to watch a movie with me. I'm outside starbucks coz i'm too cheapo/poor to pay for a drink and a wall socket.. so here i am, using my lappy's battery [sumthing i dun normally like to do] and thot i'd jus blog. :)

recently, a thot has been going thru and thru my head. Also, i've been able to use this sentence to quite a number of people in different circumstances and situations that i believe it's sumthing that's been popping up time and time again for a reason.

The 2 important things in a relationship is trust and communication.

Isn't it true? i know some people will view other things above those 2 but to me, that's what a r/s needs to be not only healthy, but lasting.

Trust

Trust must exist in the absence of communication because once one party is unaware of what the other is doing, doubts and misconceptions can easily creep in and grasp a person's better judgment, strangling it to the floor in lies, it sometimes tells a person things they would never have thought of by themselves. Trust is something gained, earned and obtained mostly over time and not forced. Trust is cultivated through experiences and circumstances revolving around a couple. I believe that when a person can trust another to not ever doubt that whatever the person says or does is true, then that frenship has reached a very healthy and almost perfect state of being.

Communication

Well, communication is vital to a r/s because without it, there can be little or no way of knowing what it on the other's mind. Whether it be through emails [for long distances], sms or calls [non-daily meetups] or verbal talking [frequent meet ups] communication establishes, maintains or can break a r/s up. What goes on during communcation is another important aspect. However, it is very closely connected and intertwined with Trust. If one trust the person they are talking to, communication is very easy and can reach to very deep depths. When a person is uncontactable, this can lead to frustration or irritation which causes the other party to lose trust in them and thus, communication is also important.


With all that said and done, i believe we can also learn from these and apply them to the frenships or relationships we make with those around us. Learn that people desire trust from you and before you demand trust and communication from them, also learn first to give it to them before expecting it. :)

Secret Lyrics

this is lyrics from the song from the show Secret. it's ABSOLUTELY great. few shows can really tug at the heartstring and i was almost tearing. it's a really nice show. sigh. go watch it. i want to watch it again. really... u prob won't regret. i didn't. it's a really sweet story line and the lead actress really really really grows on you. i remember telling shawn that she wasn't that fabulous during the first scene... but by the end of the movie, she was jus stuck in my head so deeply.. goodness... i wish i had a girl like that and an experience like theirs... sighz... i can only dream... go watch it NOW.

不能说的秘密

冷咖啡离开了杯垫
leng ka fei li kai le bei dian
As the cold coffee leaves the coaster

我忍住的情绪在很后面
wo ren zhu de qing xu zai hen hou mian
I desperately tried to hold my emotions far behind

拼命想挽回的从前
pin ming xiang wan hui de cong qian
Fighting hard to restore the past

在我脸上依旧清晰可见
zai wo lian shang yi jiu qing xi ke jian
On my face you can still see ever so clearly

最美的不是下雨天
zui mei de bu shi xia yu tian
that rainy day wasn’t the most beautiful

是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐 oh~~
shi ceng yu ni duo guo yu de wu yan
It’s the shelters that I once shared with you in the rain

回忆的画面
hui yi de hua mian
The pictures in my memory

在荡着秋千 梦开始不甜
zai dang zhe qiu qian meng kai shi bu tian
While on the swings dreams become less sweet

你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
ni shuo ba ai jian jian fang xia hui zou geng yuan
You told me that by gradually letting go I’d be able to go further

又何必去改变已错过的时间
you he bi qu gai bian ni cuo guo de shi jian
and why bother changing the times that you’ve missed

你用你的指尖 阻止我说再见
ni yong ni de zhi jian zu zhi wo shuo zai jian
you used your fingertip to stop me from saying goodbye

想像你在身边在完全失去之前
xiang xiang ni zai shen bian zai wan quan shi qu zhi qian
imaging you being by my side before you completely disappear

你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
ni shuo ba ai jian jian fang xia hui zou geng yuan
You told me that by gradually letting go I’d be able to go further

或许命运的签 只让我们遇见
huo xu ming yun de qian zhi rang wo men yu jian
Perhaps life’s destiny only allowed us to meet

只让我们相恋 这一季的秋天
zhi rang wo men xiang lian zhe yi ji de qiu tian
(and) Only allowed us to love this one season of fall

飘落後才发现 这幸福的碎片
piao luo hou cai fa xian zhe xing fu de sui pian
only after the pieces drifted down that I realized these are the pieces of happiness

要我怎麼捡
yao wo zen me jian
How do i pick them up

Updating

Wow... it's been quite a long time since i blogged. why? well it's been quite bad hectic recently... jus a few major things that happened...

1. My 21st birthday
2. Laptop

Yeh so the birthday was great.. i mean, they say that the 21st is a big thing. but i think not la. i guess it's coz my parents have already given me a lot of freedom since young so the whole independence thing isn't really that impt to me la.. nothing much changes. :P i didn't get a car so yeh. haha... so much for that key of independence when ya hit 21 years old. :P it's a lie! haha k k jus kidding.

yeh so the next big thing is that i got a laptop for my birthday present from my parents and it's pretty neat la. this is the first blog post from this laptop. it's a dell inspiron 1420 yellow colored. :) i love it la. it's a bit heavy and stuff but it's so cool that i can be carrying my computer around me wherever i go. esp when it's in the oh so cool crumpler bag that sab and ivan gave me for my birthday. :)

yeh... other than that, it's been quite ok. i'm quite pleased with how life is going these few days. get to catch up with frens here and there so that's nice. like talking to older frens... as in, age older.. coz they always have some fun new insight that they can share with me. spent a day with august today and it was nice catching up, listening and sharing with him too... i guess the problems we face are across the board and sumtimes even though there's this age gap, it really seems like the same problems experienced by different people... i mean, it's like sometimes there can be little difference in the situations and it jus seems like what's bothering him is bothering me too. or whatever la. :)

thanks for reading till here, i dun even know why you are here coz i mean, i'm getting lazy and bored even typing this. haha.. yeh, sorry but the blogging mood or motivation is kinda dwindling... dun really see the need to blog much nowadays... :0

i'm thirsty. i need a drink. slurp.

My 21st Birthday Party

Wow... thanks for everything that everyone did. It was really a great blast... i thank everyone for making the time and effort to make my 21st such a memorable event.

My event planner said this during the day before the guests started arriving... "I'll remember this day forever"... and i chuckled and agreed... but it's true... and i thank God for wonderful friends and family that i could share it with. :)

i'd love to say more but i think words are very.. limited.. :) thanks to everyone for making it a special day and a special time for me to remember the blessings God has given me over these many 21 years... for how He was close to me whilst i grew. :)

jus a treat for you guys... this is proof that people CAN lose weight. :)

Listen... being led.

Listen
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Oh, Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice
you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..

---

Love this song by Beyonce. If you dunno it, give it a listen. HAHA ok that was totally unintentional. but seriously.. it's great. it's called LISTEN. Anyways, i feel that at points in this song, it really describes my situation or life now.. sumtimes i feel so.. led by people, things, circumstances till i dun even know where i am or what i'm doing anymore. it's like being led on a leash only to be left alone at the last part to fend for myself and find my way home.

it's like this...
Imagine a dog. He was a good dog who seldom left home. Till one day he found a person who would take him out once in a while. He loved the feeling of walking with that person. He would be so captivated by the trip that sometimes he realized that he was far away from home and thus tried to find his way back. Sometimes, he strayed so far he forgot what it was like back home. However, sometimes, it was even worse. Sometimes he wasn't even being led by the person but following on his own will. The point of the matter is, this poor dog keeps finding himself being led away from the home he loved so much and felt safety in only to be left alone in the wide world that would eat him up.

That's me. And now, i'm starting to realize that once again, the leash has been let go and it's time to get back home. The sky's getting darker than i thought and i dun think i can fend for myself if i dun run along home soon. But i dunno who will hear my whimper... i know the way back, i've walked it so many times

yup. :) Birthday's coming. 21st. big deal... or so they all tell me. i think it's no great thing to me la. but i know i'll regret it if i let it pass without doing sumthing. :) so yeh... yayz. it's almost here. ahah

big presents this year. such a difference from normal years.. but i thank God for giving me a chance to recollect my life and jus be thankful for God, Family and Friends. :)

p.s. sorry for not blogging. it's tough to find purpose and enough reason to. :) Days are long and tiring... bloggin isn't really a priority to me now. but hey, i'm still here. haha.

Estimated Delivery Date

Dear Valued Customer,

Thank you for choosing Dell.

Estimated Delivery Date : 02 AUG 2007

mwhehehe. it's coming it's coming.

It's necessary to go through

When it gets tough and you just keep telling yourself not to worry coz God has it all planned, it isn't easy. It tugs at your heart strings and that ache you always laugh about pulls the corners of your mouth down. You fight and struggle to keep them up knowing that sometimes, it's all just a show to hide what's really inside.

When it gets that tough and you know this is the only way, what do you do? Carry on smiling and push those thoughts away? Even when you know it kills you to do so?

Then you remember a prayer you said previously. Asking Him to help you forget and move on. Then you realize, God gives patience by sending you through trials. He gives peace by taking you through the storm. He comforts by first letting you crumble. There can be no patience if there wasn't a chance to exercise it. There can be no peace if there was never turmoil and there can be no comfort if there never was hurt.

Then it makes sense. the heart ache, the sighs, the downcast disappointed face every week you hide. That's when you know it's necessary and God really does have something better.

If i have not charity...

Sorry i haven't updated in a while. haven't been really inspired to write much about anything. Got to sometimes commit to blogging too rite? otherwise why have a blog? :) things have been going pretty much ok for me. nothing huge to report. :) jus sumtimes i struggle with what frenships i have and who i interact with. Constantly asking myself whether who i am at work is who i am in church. How to gel the two till there's no difference, that's what i'm working on now. it isn't impossible.. but the people at work really sumtimes bring out the worst in you, considering how it's army, i'm sure you understand.

Thankfully i'm still able to at least pay attention to it rather than to let it slip and slide out of control. :) On other news, been doing QT regularly.. finally! haha it's been like forever since i had a regular QT time la.. i'm ashamed to say it but yeh, it was tough and it ate at my soul everytime i thot of why i wasn't spending dedicated time with the Lord. It's sometimes so easy to make excuses like, "oh, well... i pray to God every day and frequently through out the day. QT doesn't always need to be time set aside, it can be done thru-out the day."... or "material not very good la.. what to do?"... but yeh, deep down inside your heart, you know that's where the problem lies... and recently i've been quite convicted about a certain idea...

The answer to almost every kind of question asked during BS or sharing is that it's all about the motivation and the internal decisions you make. You can come to church, give offerings, attend YF meetings and stuff but that doesn't make you a Christian. It makes you a church going, giving, member of the YF or church. You have gotta settle the reasons why you do things. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, believing in God does. It's like the verse says

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

yeh, so a thot to ponder upon as we go on our daily lives yeh? :) Oki, long entry.. hehe see ya guys. Don't stop shining for the Lord!

Farni Harry Potter Clip

Does Anybody hear her? Prison Break

Hey, i chanced upon this video while doing my preparation for Youth Worship. Since the youth worship is over, i can finally post the video here and share it with you guys.

A must watch for all prison break fans. it's real sweet and nice. Enjoy

Pink Pouch to give away!

Hey, after clearing my room for an Auntie who's staying over, my sis and I found this... she wanted to throw it away la.. but i thot it was a waste to throw coz it's still quite unused and in relatively good condition la... so here i am, posting it to see if anyone of you like it and want it... it's free so dun worry bout cost. :)

Crocodile leather outside design with a fashionable white strap.

Strap is detachable so if you dun like it, just click it off and you can change it to another strap or have it go solo.
The pouch opens up with a magnetic clip. So that means no movable parts, and seamless locking device.

Inside is furry leather and it has a plastic holder so that whatever you have inside won't fall out the moment you open it. If you can see, the bottom of the pouch has a hole to connect your charger so your player or what doesn't need to be removed from the pouch.
Measurements:


Anyone interested? i'll give it a week or two, then i'm throwing it away. so if you want, i can pass it to you then if you dun like it, you can also give it away... or promote it on your blog like what i'm doing.ahhaa... yuppers. very nice...

3SG Here i come!

YAYZ! My 2ic [second in command of my company] made a formal announcement yesterday that i will be taking over as 2ic of my section.
Background: Company of 50 men, split into 3 sections of about 8 working men. Each section has a Section Commander [SectCom] and a 2ic [2nd in command]

Yeh so I will be going for a 1-2 month long course to learn about leadership and all soon la. Dunno when yet, i'm hoping August or Sept. :P Dun wanna spoil my birthday stuff. Then when i pass out of the course, i'll rise in rank to a 3SG!!! Wootz! that means pay rise! haha... but that also means added responsibilities.

Just thankful to God for giving me the chance to be something more than a normal man in NS. Must take this 1 year more to learn as much as i can too. :)

Hot Fuzz with a Happy Friend

Dun ask why the title's as such... i just needed a HF to match with the HF in the title hotfuzz. haha...

Today was fun i guess. had quite a bit of running around. i actually had a crazy packed day today.. this was WAD was supposed to happen.


10am - Meet Daphne and Yvonne for breakfast
11.30am - Go do my Townhouse's gate security registration
1pm - Meet Meliza and Lydia for lunch and outing
5.30pm - Meet Vincent for driving lesson


what REALLY happened.

10am - Woke up coz Daphne couldn't do breakfast.
12pm - Go to office and realize cannot do security coz got long queue.
1pm - Met Lydia for some Creative window shoppin and movie and Tampines jalanjalan
5.30pm - Had driving Lesson
7pm - Shopped around alone in central and bought a top
7.30pm - Met Adrian, Ben, Shawn, Joash for dinner
8.30pm - Went to Adrian's house to see his new digital drum set.

yah.. it was a fun mad day. hah.. had fun jus hanging around for a few hours with that lil girl. Lugged her guitar all around la! heavy can! you owe me! HAHA jus kidding la.. it was so light can. made me jealous of my guitar. haha... anyways, the show was alrite. quite funny. i recommend it for people who need a laugh and time to spare. i won't say it's great.. but it sure made the both of us laugh quite loudly at times.. british humour can sumtimes be crude, but hell, it's funny. ahaha

yeh.. then managed to catch up with her for a bit and then had to part ways coz i had my driving. so sorry hor Bangthe.. really felt bad leaving you wandering for an hour before your class.. but bo-bian. :S
Driving was great. gettin more and more confident on the road. :) yayz.

After that shopped at central and met up with the guys to have claypot. yummy! ahha.. drum sets are cool.
Yeh, tomolo's a cool day. why? coz there's YF. :) yayz. haha and mei's coming... not only that, she's pulling along Alicia kok too. cool stuff can. :) haha..

take care people. be safe yeh? Dengue's crazy dangerous recently.

Grenadier

I'm a Grenadier. :) So funky cool.

I'm on course to learn how to handle, fire and maintain a M203.. wad's an M203? well.. this.

Image has been taken down so i dun end up in jail.

heh. how funky cool is that? The first thing when we started the lecture... the warrant officer was like... gentleman. from this point forward, you have to change your mindsets. You are no longer Firers... you are now Grenadiers. so when i call for Grenadiers, i am talking about you. Understand?

wah!! when he said that ah. i was like... woah man! that is SO cool. like... damn! i'm a Grenadier! and he was saying la.. we're all very lucky... not many people will ever get to fire a m203 or be called a grenadier.. so like some special grp of elite soldiers... hahah talk bout bull... they really know how to make you feel good.. it worked for me...

So yeh, jus a short request for safety... i'll be going for live range on thurs... shooting like 4 rounds at least... so it's quite cool la. coz each round is a grenade.. and a grenade can kill... shred your body... stuff like that. but they've assured us with all the specs of the grenade i can't talk bout here... to ensure it won't blow up. :) Yup. so that's bout it.

LCP Joel, Technician, Grenadier.

O Levels

You know i was talkin to a fren jus now online and i realized once more how much i want this year's o levels to end. There are so many people that are 'affected' by this year's Os... and it'll all be better once the dreaded Os are over.

i want it to end as much as they do. it's like i'm taking the Os all over again... without the exam. AHHA. :)

okok. so i'm like evil to say that.. but seriously. why won't it jus end now!!! gosh. there are a lot of things that will change once these Os are over... at least to me la.. and to all the people taking it. heh.

Just a word of encouragement to those sitting for the Os in the later part of this year... Strive and press on to the end goal yeh? God will be with you just like He's already with you.. and with your exams, may you echo the 'banner' at the top right of this blog... but own it and change it to

'As for me and my Os, we will serve the Lord'

haha... okok. let's be a bit more biblical yeh? :P

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:1-2

All this studying, abstaining from things and activities will all be worth it!!! dun give up and dun forget to look to God. :)

Bad Engrish

Heh, have to share this with all of you. It was a sign at the coach booking stand at Malaysia during my recent trip. go click it, read the words... have a laugh. hehe


heh. hope that picked up your boring day a bit [if you're having one that is. :P\

Back from Busy-ness

Woah these few days have been killer busy for me. I was sharing during Church Prayer meeting last nite that i'm really treating my home like some hotel. Since the church camp, i haven't been home before 11plus or 12 plus. it's been late nites every day... let's take a short glance at my days so far.

Sat - After rushing back from malaysia, i cabbed down to SAFTI from woodlands checkpoint for Ian's commissioning. Reached home at 10plus, super tired from the 7hour bus ride back to spore.
Sun - Church followed by Exco LR. Reached home at 11plus
Mon - Work then went to church for LR. Reached home at 12.
Tues - Took Medical Leave from work and went for LR. Reached home at 12.
Wed - Work then went for Prayer meeting in church. came back at 11plus.
Thurs - Decided to take Medical leave again today so i dun kill anyone when i go for my shooting range tomolo. :S


yeh so it's been quite mad for me la. not enuf time to do anything. that's why blog's been so dead. plus, no photos to upload too. need to steal them from ben soon. haha... but other than that, i've been ok la. physically a bit weak coz i'm sick... but i'm surviving. :) LR was interesting la. got to see quite a different side of things... how people work differently and all that jazz. oh..

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY NICK!

yeh sorry for posting after your bday... but i've been busy. haha... aiya, wished you dunno how many times too la. so i'm sure you'll excuse this one. hehe..

yarh. in other aspects of my life, i'm trying to move on. trying to not be affected by some stuff that can easily bug me and not to make things seem what like they're not. Self control is a desired character quality i want to have now and Reliance on God's timing and trusting in Him are the first few things that pop in my mind if i were asked what I'd ask God for rite now... But just like Joseph, Sometimes God needs to throw us into our pit/jail/poverty before He can raise us up to be a blessing to others, like how Joseph was thrown in jail and then slowly was risen to a position where he could save his family and others.

So patience. :) that's something i need too. finding myself easily irritated or at least less-tolerant of other people/things that go on around me. I think it's a bit of Cheryl rubbing off on me... but i find myself being sometimes more concerned with how things are run or the end goal rather than the process or people. so it's kinda bad too. gotta find a balance between achieving a result and having fun along the way. :)

Church Camp

Wootz. it's finally here.

The time now is 2:17am. i prob have to wake at 5plus later on to catch Uncle Hock Leong's car. let's pray i can finish off my stuff now and sleep soon. if i sleep. :)

But that's besides the point. IT'S HERE IT'S HERE!

I'll be away from Monday morning till Saturday late afternoon for church camp. please dun contact me as i can't be contacted. Have a good time and take care of yourself one and all. look out for blog post when i get back. if i have time, considering how Leader's Retreat is the following week. haha...
yayz.

Pray for safety for us all. Bless you!

Joel, Out!

Joy Explained

Well, in response to Eunice's Question... the joy i can't share but i guess the reason i can. :)

Someone i love and hold very close to my heart reminded me of what i meant to her and said sumthing really nice that i'll never forget. haha.. i've gotta be vague here coz if not, i might jus end up revealing too much!!! gasp! haha... but yeh, that's the gist of it. I must say that it's not the ONLY thing la coz i mean.. today, wednesday, is a fun fun day.

Last day of my 1 and a half weeks of no work coz i took off on friday and leave for next week's church camp. And we're going to watch Pirates tonite and of course, there's prayer meeting! that's always a great enriching time of the week.

Yuppers... so yayz. i'm a happy boy.. like i said, dunno how long this will last but till then, my heart's lifted and dancing.

p.s. WOOTZ.. OWNAGE.. this is the 200th post of this blog. now how roxor is that? rawks my socks off! haha.. okok enuf internet lingo. :P

CHURCH CAMP IN LIKE 5 FRIGGIN' DAYS! OH MY GOODNESS I'M SO FRIGGIN' EXCITED!!! okok... minus out all the friggin'.... it's 5 days away. now let me hear you scream HEYYYY HOOOOO HEYYY HOOOO!

Joy that comes in small packages

I'm real happy.

Small things that bring you the greatest joy. Shows you what you place as important in your life. Tell others and it just sounds silly but tell it to yourself and you've got joy to last you forever.

Wonder how long I'll stay happy.

oh and congrats to all the O level people. Seems like the general feeling was that the paper was ok and some are even banking on it for their A1. wow. :)

Starcraft 2

now say it with me. OH WOW... HELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME.

Rejected by SMU

It finally came in the mail. The letter that i dreaded coming. SMU replied.

Guess God has other plans for me. whatever they are, I'm gonna have to trust in Him. :)

sorry, not much mood to blog now.. but dun worry... i'm fine with it. just kinda sian that it's the second year.. which means i still dun have a place in any university, local or not. And i've got one more year. :)

Praise God that the worrying's over for now.

In need

Sometimes it just feels like you need someone. Don't ya think? this song has been running thru my head since i went to sleep and it continued when i woke. just the chorus part keeps looping. hopefully it doesn't mean anything but just thot i'd share it.

It's not supposed to feel this way.
I need you, i need you, more and more each day.
It's not supposed to hurt this way.
I need you, i need you, i need you.

It's by Avril Lavigne... who currently is rocking my Zen. Her new album is not bad.. quite good actually. if anyone wants, let me know. Yeh... going thru some stuff in my life too that really makes me wonder how much i need people or need God. How much do i miss Him and want to talk to Him as compared to wanting to talk to someone. and i guess many many times i find myself ashamed that He's not the first person that comes to mind when i'm 'lonely'.

Exco prayer meeting yesterday was great. i really felt charged up and empowered as the comm prayed and i dun really like to say this coz it sounds charismatic in nature.. but i felt God's hand and presence there yesterday. maybe the rest might have been mumbling words just to get the prayers done... maybe some cried out from their hearts earnest questions and requests to God... whatever it is, i felt like standing on the mountain and praying to Him about the things on my paper. It was an awesome feeling that lasted past the prayer. Thank God for reminders like this that help us feel close to God. Whether or not we want to, God will never leave us. it's just how far we'll walk away before realizing we still do need Him.

And i love to feel like i can pray for people. people i'm worried for because of their circumstances/feelings at the point in time/busy-ness... whatever it is, if prayer can work and if i'm praying then i can't wait for God to work in their lives and show me once again that yes, prayer does.

And if you ask me, worryin for someone is a good sign. shows that you really do care for them and that they aren't jus a face and name to you but a friend, a brother or sister. So if people worry for you, rejoice because it's just God's way of showing His love to you thru them.

And for you, please see that if i worry, it's because there's cause to worry and that i'll never see it as a burden to pray for you. That's what we do in comm and Christian living, we pray for each other. no man's an island. Let's build each other up in prayer and love knowing that God's placed all of us in our lives for these reasons. :)

May you all have a blessed rest of the week. P.s. the post under this is written about Sunday's sermon. Give it a read and comment if ya want to. :) Ciaoz!

Reflections on Sermon: Christian's To-Do List part2

So here i am, gonna review this sunday's sermon. I think i wanna make this a permanent thing on my blog. Where i write about what i learnt or felt from the sunday sermon. Helps me also be accountable to all of you that i listened during sermon. And please, if you have something to add [i'm sure you do coz everyone has a different outlook on things]... please jus click the little COMMENTS word on the right of this entry and type away. i really do appreciate learning from you guys too.

Sermon: A Christian's "To Do" List - Part 2
Scripture: Romans 12:11-13
Speaker: Preacher Leonard Chong

Today Leonard expounded on the 2nd message in the series of a Christian's to do list. it was helpful and though i felt it was a bit unbalanced [he spent little time on point 6. and 7. but expounded a lot on point 8.] it was still quite interesting to hear what he had to say bout the points.

To do List number
6. Serve the Lord with diligence and enthusiasm
This was mainly about how we must be sincere, passionate and we must have Spiritual Ferver for Christ and ministry. Ferver in greek is BOILING. So it has that imagery of how our passion and love for the work is bubbling and not stagnant 'mosquito breeding' water. So we must check out attitude and see whether it's right. Whatever ministry we may be in, forefront or not, we must always be on fire for Him and be always trying to do our best for God.

7. Trust and depend on God in difficult times
Don't be lost in emotional highs that you lose focus on God. Like how vibrant worship can sometimes make the focus lost from God to the music or musicians sometimes. We must recognize that God is in control and that He can help you through the difficult time. Doubting God's power is the first step to not allowing Him to take control or change things. A Christian should always trust in God... especially during hard times. It's those times that really test to see if your faith is built on rock or sand.

8. Give to Christians in need
People will know that we are Christians by our love. Some aren't technically in need [monetary] but are spendthrifts or just lazy to find work or get off their butts. Those are the ones that you should be more careful with. They could be just disobedient to God or just searching for personal enjoyment without thinking long term. To enjoy the present and the now. Our attitude should be checked such that we are not giving to those in need just because we are asked to, but because we WANT to and feel the need to.

yeh, that wraps up this sunday's sermon. Hope you were blessed by it.

Love, Actions and Boundaries

Leonard's message this Sunday was interesting. was tellin him, it was a good, timely and nice reminder for the church about being a body and loving one another. about how every Christian should have a checklist of what their character's like... their attitudes, motivations and stuff... here it is. it's also a new addition to my blog, on the left, under the tagboard.

1. Love others sincerely
2. Hate what is evil
3. Cling to what is good
4. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love
5. Honor one another above yourselves

yup. with those things in mind, a Christian should recognize their place in the big picture, the community and family of God.

well, on the first point, he spoke bout sincerity. Genuine and fake love... real love is seen by actions. fake love is jus feelings, words and emotions la... then that kinda made me think quite a bit la.. to the people who i love and love me, what kinda actions are there?

and after speaking to someone close to me, i realized that although yes, actions should be a natural outflow of loving someone, there are still things to take note of. i believe actions are an outward expression of your inward feelings and thoughts towards a person.
But what popped into my mind was that although you love someone and would want to show it thru actions, sumtimes [most of the time] there are restrictions. boundaries that you have set for yourself and this r/s that shouldn't be broken. Boundaries are important to maintain a healthy and properly appropriate situation but it still pains to hit the walls of boundary and know you're not gettin further than that. :S

But i guess it's necessary. so even as i strive to learn how to love better, it's my prayer that to those i love, you'll know i care about you. and for those who love me, thank you.. i really do appreciate and love the fact that there are some good things. :)

There are some people that you'd love to love. But you can't. 'Patience my young child' says the Lord. All you should and can do, is trust. Trust that He will love them and you just watch your boundaries. Play safe, be wise.

Yup. thot for the weekend! :P

City Harvest Friendships

So, yesterday was an interesting day... I woke at like 11.30 i think... was able to sleep in and enjoy some much needed sleep. the past week has been a week of sleeping normal time but waking up super early to go down to Safti... so this sat's sleep was great. :) then i did some chores at home and headed down to tampines carpark to have my driving.

Needless to say, it was a blast. This time we went around the carpark a few times and then he told me to go out on the road. wah. stress la. 2nd lesson go out already. Coz he said i learn quite fast and am already one lesson ahead of normal people so he had confidence in me on the road. So i went on the road and jus listened to him all the way. I must say the first few times wasn't as stressed as i thot, but still tense la. he said that i was gripping the steering wheel real tight. could see my veins and all on my arms... LOLZ. haha... but after driving for a while, i got more and more used to it and my confidence level surely built up as i drove and experienced more and more 'unexpected' stuff like light changes and people cutting.
I even saw an accident. There was this cab that was waiting to filter into my lane but since i was on the main road, everyone knows i had the right of way. so i started to pick up past him but before i passed him, i saw another taxi come from behind him and he didn't slow down enough so he whacked the first taxi in the back. wah! ahha. i was like OH MY! and Vincent [instructor] jus said, ah see. he didn't slow down enough. that's why we ask you to always slow down at junctions, you never know what might happen. You hit people's back dun need to say one, sure lose.
HAHA... so it was like. woah. right there in front of me lor. lolz. hope there wasn't much problems. anyways... after that, i drove past home and he took over to drive me to expo... it was a great lesson and once again, i can't wait for the next lesson. ahha.. driving's a blast. really.

after that, met up with jiamin, qiang and jodi at the expo and we made our way to hall 8 for

Heh... decided to go this week since there wasn't yf. these 3 saturdays will be a time where i can go around and visit other churches. look see for myself what they're like and experience how they worship our Almighty Father. It was a fun blessed experience at CHC la i guess. The last time i went was when i was a real young teen like sec 1? and it was scary la. the whole speaking in tongues and how they approached us and tried to get our contact details and all.. so this time, i told myself not to go with any stigmas and just try to enjoy the worship service and message. It turned out much better than the past exp i had with chc. The worship songs they picked were all new to me yet i still was able to pick them up and sing along praising God. i felt quite blessed and edified by the songs. how they sing and repeat over and over again helped to peel layer and layer off my hardened heart and to show me how God loves me and should be first place in my life. So worship was great [minus the speaking in tongues part]...

Then after service, i met up with Reid and his Cell Group for dinner. He had to go for dinner so he dumped me with his fren Pearly to take care of me. We headed down to the airport for dinner and I was able to fellowship with them. it was fun getting to know other Christians other than CF and Church... nice bunch of people though i only really got to speak much with Pearly and some others. Met some guys from his cell that are in the army and all... quite interestin to chat with them too. haha army talk is always entertaining for a while. :)

Yup, then that spastik reid had to leave so i decided to go with him though i did kinda wanna stay. But it's ok. another time if God allows me to fellowship with them. :) I knew i still had to go home and prepare for my own church service the next day. :) but this saturday helped me to see how a Christian still has many brothers and sisters around in other churches too... :) Friendships aren't restricted by location or denominations. That's what i feel la. :)

Next Saturday: Riverlife! Who's interested in following? Tee hee.

Youth Sunday + Driving

*edited. added something below.*

it's been a week since i've updated this la. Ohmyzen... anyways, it's been an ok week... weekend rawked too. didn't do much for saturday coz i was attached to jurong for army stuff.. what to do? :) anyways, hope it'll all pay off and i expect to have gotten an off day for that saturday.

then went down to church early early on sunday coz it was youth sunday and i was still practicing my item la.. will put up the video of it when i get the video. :) it was fun to see the youths serving in areas that they dun really get to.. like ushering and refreshments... so thank God for their willing hearts and for puttin in 110% in what they did.. the special items were nice and meaningful too.. Sean's song was written well and deb tan's singing with jason's playing was absolut great. :P then after that, i went to have my first driving lesson with Vincent...

wah i tell you, it was scary in the sense that it was in a bad place, got some reason for that but not impt for now. :) but it was like, taking control of the car la.. scary stuff coz you can do anything wrong and buang the car can. :) but he was very thorough and gave me a lot of confidence thru his words and actions. so i thank God for a patient man like him.
he told me that i learn quite fast and from the way he spoke, could tell that he was quite glad that i learn the ropes pretty easily too. yayz. haha. managed to clear one and a half lessons on that first day apparently so he said that next lesson should be no problem and we'll go on the road. i was like. WAD?!?!? on the road?!? me?? no la.. haha then he was like, dun worry, he'll be there and stuff. but still. scary la. :)
i must say, there are many many things to think bout when driving.. esp for manual car la. how to change gear, stop, start, all that jazz. but i'm glad i'm learning. really enjoyed the lesson and i can't wait to start my second lesson. ohmyzen, still have to wait for one more week. next lesson's on saturday. seeing if i can push it earlier so i can visit City Harvest in the afternoon for their youth service. :) yayz. that should be fun if i can go for it.

today, a few of the exco members met up for island creamery. nice can. :) yummies.. managed to try a fav of cheryl's... teh tarik. and i was blown away at how they managed to capture the taste into the ice cream. i think it's wonderful how they can get that distinct singaporean taste into their ice cream... genius. :) But of course, i'm sorry... P.Hitam still rawks my socks off. :) though, it melts fast. haha... hung around jus chatting and relaxing for quite a while. haven't done that with this bunch in a long time so i was glad that we were able to spend some quality time with unofficial business. :) didn't need to get agenda done or what la.. so it was nice jus sharing lives. :)

then headed down to send hensley off at pasir ris. so funny. all the chao recruits. :) reminded me of my time when i was booking in too. :) hope he has a fun time coz the army life in tekong is really fun. with buddies and all. :) after that, headed to supper at Changi Village. oh my... hokkien mee's so nice canzzz. hahah yayz. so satisfied. :)

so here i am, sitting at home... relaxing on a tues nite.. at 9.40pm. wowz. i've got so much time till i sleep. i love this day. may day rawks. :)

so who cares that i have to go jurong for the rest of this week, i count it all joy... no workshop, no coveralls, no falling in stress.. :) jus relaxing fun at the event. :) cool stuff huh? :) yayz.

-------------------------
something happened today that made me worried for a fren of mine. I was worried for safety as i didn't get a reply to my message and all la. Felt quite scared that something might have happened. Thank God that it was all ok and that it was just because the handphone was switched off... but still... it made me realize 2 small things.

1. I have to trust God more. Praying and asking God for peace about the whole situation made me see that even in small things, i gotta learn to trust God more. As hard as it is considering how i'm not in control of the situation and that my mind was playing all these possible scenarios out, i should shut it all out and just keep relying on God to give peace.
2. I realized that i cared more than i thot for this fren of mine. small thing like that already made me worry like that. mmm wonder if that's a good thing. but yeh, small matter turned not so small in my mind. Just glad nothing happened and that it was all in my head.

just once more, stop saying sorry canz. :) thank God that it's all over and it's nothing much la.

yarh. that's bout it. wanted to blog bout it la coz life's short and you forget things. i do. :) glad everything's fine nonetheless.

Sway Day

Woah. yesterday was a day to remember can. haha.. let me tell ya all bout it. :) last nite, i was online and then Justin came and asked if i was going to send Debbie off... then i checked with James... haha what time the flight is and all la... so then finally at 12.30am, i decided ok, why not... so ended up sleeping at 1 after closing all my chats and all.

so i slept at 1 and woke at 3. groggy but excited. haha so went down to the guard house and met up with jiamin. Drove down to the airport with him and qiang and met up with the yeos... then waited around for her to check in and have her briefings... then went to breakfast at BK.... sent her off and then headed down to Jln Kayu for breakfast with the 2 guys... then headed off to work. a full day of work... with 2 hours of sleep. lol.

anyways, at about 2plus, i went to wash my hands in anticipation of the tea break at 3... after washing my hands, i was walkin off then kenna bird shit. yeh, my workshop has a lot of birds... anyways, i was like. WAH LAU... so went to clean off my coveralls... then when i was drying my specs, it snapped into 2. pengz... super sway la... so i had to go thru the rest of the day blind... pengz... got home blind and changed my specs to my transition ones. haiz.... so sway.

yup, account of the day over. ahha... okok, gotta rush off for work now. :) sighz.

All the best for the Sec 4s who are taking middies... they're evil exams.. but God's with you. :)

寂寞 - Loneliness

Sometimes i can get lost in chinese songs. I think they sing of really nice things. i've posted something about that before la. bout how English songs are just warped and all. So here i am, enjoying what the chinese songs are all about. when i search for the lyrics and read them [yes, i CAN read chinese... mostly]... i really totally understand the song that much better. :) so much nicer la. 了解更好

But then again, half the time, i can only catch half of what they're singing coz by the time i process what they said, they're already singing the next verse. haha... but it's still nice when i catch it la. :)

我超喜歡你

i must attribute my love for chinese songs to my time in poly. when we used to go play pool or just sit in the lab and listen to the chinese music pouring from each other's speakers. :) it was fun and nice. thank God for experiences like that. breaks me out of my comfort zone and stuff. :)

but anyways, recently been having lonely thots. not good. haha... but i guess it reminds me that God made me relational and even in life itself, we all seek to be loved or to love others. 情感 Coz God made me that way and i'm made in the image of God. :)

神 就 照 着 自 己 的 形 像 造 人

yup yup. :) interesting how we were chosen as His creation to bear His image and to feel the things He feels... like lonliness. i wonder if God ever felt that, but Jesus did. :) Relational. exactly what i just spoke bout. wonderful.

Seeing Double?

how cool is this? Thanks to my friend who photoedited it. haha... i think it's done really well coz the lighting and everything's done real good. no wonder he's working where he's working. dunno if i can say where that is... ahha you never know how confidential it is la. :) Yup... so thanks for the cute photo and good laugh.

p.s. i found some real old photos of some people who might not want their photos to be revealed. MWHAHA... i shall do some editing of my own. :) look out for the post soon. hahaha

Just popping by

the photo got removed from blogger or sumthing. -.-

Awww. so cute. Yup, jus blogging coz i'm in church now and there's nuthing much to do today... had a half day off coz of company lunch at Sakura... so now i'm jus relaxing the day away till YAF at 8.30 later on. :) yayz. haha the weekend's finally here.

thots are just slowly filling my head these few days la. sian. but at least i'm getting them out of my system nowadays as compared to keepin them inside. finally a small outlet. :) yarhz... anyways, real glad the weekend's here la. coz of last weekend, i've been dying to see the yf again. :) so whee. haha

p.s. i like the cute little girl in that pic above. so schweet.
thank God, i passed my Advance Theory... just one more final step till i drive legally on the road. :)

Changing Times, Timely Change

It's funny isn't it? How people can change so much in 6 years. I made Eunice take this recent shot with me because I wanted to show how different things can be with a short span of time. The environment still stays roughly the same, but the people that move in and out of their doors can change so much.
Back in 2001, i was 15 years old. that's merely Sec 3... and now look at me.

But it's coz of all the people around me that have made me who i am today. The older leaders that have guided me and watched me grow have inspired me and supported me all these years. So thanks to those who played a part and still play that same part... To Eunice too... thanks for putting up with me... mwhahah... :)

Where will you be in the next 5-6 years? Who will you be?

It would have been enough

It would have been enough

All you needed to do was to speak a word from heaven,
not even left your throne and majesty.
You didn't need to come to earth because from heaven,
it would have been enough.

You didn't need to be born in a manger
in the stink, filth, humiliation and hay as your bed
You could chosen a hospital or proper housing.
it would have been enough.

You didn't need to live as a carpenter
to toil and labour with the hands that one day would be pierced
You could have lived the life of an average man.
it would have been enough.

You didn't need to go around entertaining everyone
Healing, blessing, eating with them.
You could just have let your disciples do the mundane work
it would have been enough.

You didn't need to touch the untouchable, the leper
To reach down, pick him and up wipe his eyes
You could have just spoken sight into his glazed eyes
it would have been enough

You didn't need to be tried and beaten
to suffer the thorns, the whips, the flogging.
You could have just been put to death straight.
it would have been enough

You didn't need to be beaten beyond recognition
to carry that heavy wooden cross till you fell from it's load
you could have just died another way
it would have been enough

You didn't need to be mocked by the people you came for
to be spat on, boo-ed, jeered at and laughed at.
You could silence them all just by a look of your glory.
it would have been enough.

You didn't need to forgive your captors
neither did the thief on the cross earn his place in heaven
You could have just smiled to him.
it would have been enough.

You didn't need to stay dead 3 days
In that cold dark tomb, wrapped in death cloth.
You could have just walked out of the tomb straight away.
You could have stepped out of death into life
it would have been enough.

But when we consider the prophecies,
the truths we know and the things He accomplished.
Although it never makes any sense to us,
we know that it's because if He didn't do all that
it wouldn't have been enough.

---

My brothers and sisters, as you read this, i pray you considered the immense pain, shame and suffering our Lord Jesus Christ endured for you. Because although Good Friday and Easter comes once a year... it doesn't mean that we should stop remembering the sacrifices that He made for us. We often think of it as how... oh yeh, He died for us. but it's so much more than that. I pray you just stop whatever you're doing now... take a short break of 2 minutes and jus consider how we constantly and habitually never give back anything to Him. We make such a big fuss over a small sacrifice and expect the world from Him. When in reality, He gave us everything we can never repay. All He asks from us is that we love Him. that's all. love him, it would be enough.

Stuck at home

well well well. :)

guess what this poor sickly boy is doing on a good saturday? when he should be in church enjoying fellowship with his brothers and sisters at YF?
he's home... resting and resting... sigh. i'm like MIRESABLE!!! [lol. i love that word]... sigh.. i wish i could have been there at YF since it's Kenneth's MinTs and i mean, who wants to miss yf... ANY yf is still a good time to spend with each other rite?

but hey, since i'm home and dun wanna risk my chances of going to service tomolo, i better make good use of the time i'm home.

Current Status:

• Headaches... esp when i move around.
• Coughing a bit... but it's the least of the sickness i think
• achey body [oh this is the worst coz every position you sit/lie in isn't comfortable
• Perspire whenever i dun have a fan pointed at me
• Get giddy when i stand up or walk around.
• Ultimately, weak...

yup... so in general, i'm kinda glad coz i'm surely recovering.. jus slowly... you should have seen me yesterday. goodness i was a WRECK... i came home at about 3 plus and showered then khooned... slept till my mum woke me up.. and she was like... how? have you been coughin today? and i looked at the clock really miserably and saw sumthing like 7.30... so i was like. huh? how i know. i just woke up... and she was like. yeh yeh, were you coughing jus now? and then it hit me... hahah i thot it was 7.30am on Saturday. Rather, it was 7.30pm... so i thot i slept like super alot when i didn't la. hahah so funny. :S so after that, i had higher hopes of possibly getting well before yf... and maybe going.

but today i still wasn't good. so to avoid the possibility of infecting people and getting worse thus having to miss service tomolo, i decided [not too hard to decide coz of the circumstances] to miss one week of yf...

gosh... i never miss yf. at 3pm i was like groaning can... i was like WAAAAA.... hahaha... spastik. :) now you'll know how much more sian and miserable i'll be if i miss tml's service. i'd jus jump off my home... ummm my 3 storey home... wait, that won't kill me... wargh.... haha

Back and... kicking

urghhh arghhh... that's the only audible words that i can make out now... i'm very sick with flu, fever. headache, cough, achy body.... but mainly what's buggin me is the headache and nose that jus pours and pours. if i had a camera, i'd take a pic of the dustbin. full of tissue lor. lol.

today was late for CO parade. ended up cabbing there. didn't get in trouble but i hate to 'stand out' in the army. never good one. haha... so yeh, managed to survive till after parade. then the morning medicine wore off.

OH! that reminds me. brb. gotta pop my pills... MEDICINAL PILLS THAT IS. :P what were you thinkin? aiyoh.

ok. done my pills. gosh. i'm like energy-less now la. i think i wanna go lie down. hopefully i'll wake up. HAHAH jus kidding.

prayin hard i'll see you and you and everyone of you at yf tml.

Sorry for promising.

i know i promised. but i'm sorry. it's gotta wait for a little bit more. i'm down with flu, cough and generally a lousy miserable feeling... sorry.

duty was great though. watched tv the whole time. :)

Promises

I promise a post after i come back from Sungei Gedong. Going there for duty... Tues-wed so won't be home la. but i'll apparently have LOADS of time there to do anything i want, so i shall blog [the primitive way] on a piece of paper and then transfer it online later when i get home on wed nite.

sorry for the lack of posts and stuff.. jus been a bit off sorts recently and didn't wanna blog coz i was lazy. but i'll get an entry done real soon k? :)

and now, a small preview of my post that will soon be hitting your computer screens soon.

"Easter: the only reason why we live is coz He did and still does."

Promoted

Guess who's promoted? :)

Yesterday ended really well with my name being read out in the announcements page... Private Alvin, Private Terry, Private Joel blah blah blah... has been promoted to Lance Corporal with effect from 1st April. :P

MWAHAHA yay yay yay. first sew-on rank... gotta go sew the rank onto my uniforms now. wowz. the feeling is great even though the pay only increases by like wad? $40 to $390? haha nvm la.. it's still sumthing. :)

So nick, dun you dare call me private tan anymore... mwhaha. It's LCP Joel to you! :P

专属天使

专属天使 - TANK

我不会怪你 对我的伪装
wu bu hui guai ni, dui wo de wei zhuang
I won't blame you for bluffing me

天使在人间是该藏好翅膀
tian shi zai ren jian shi gai chang hao chi bang
Angel should cover up their wings in the mortal world

人们愚蠢鲁莽而你纤细善良
ren men yu chun lu mang, er ni xian xi shan liang
Humans are slow to think and harsh
whereas you are kind hearted

怎能让你 为了我被碰伤
zhen neng rang ni wei le wo bei peng shang
How can I let you get hurt just because of me?

小小的手掌 厚厚的温暖
xiao xiao de shou zhang, hou hou de wen nuan
the small small palm, the thickness of warmth

你总能平复我不安的夜晚
ni zong neng ping fu wo bu an de ye wan
you always calm the uneasiness of my heart at night

不敢想的梦想 透过你的眼光
bu gan xiang de meng xiang, tou guo ni de yan guang
the dream that i ran away from, when i look into your eyes

我才看见 它原来在前方
wo cai kan jian, ta yuan lai zai qian fang
i saw that my dream is just infront

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
mei you shui neng ba ni qiang li wo shen pang
no one can take you away from my side

你是我的 专属天使
ni shi wo de zhuan shu tian shi
you're my personal angel

唯我能独占
wei wo neng du zhan
that belongs to only me

没有谁能取代你在我心上
mei you shui neng qu dai ni zai wo xin shang
no one can replace you in my heart

拥有一个 专属天使
yong you yi ge zhuan shu tian shi
having a personal angel

我哪里还需要 别的愿望
wo na li hai xu ya bie de yuan wang
what kind of other wishes i can have?

小小的手掌 大大的力量
xiao xiao de shou zhang, da da de li liang
a small small palm yet with a big strength

我一定也会 像你一样飞翔
wo yi ding ye hui xiang ni yi yang fei xiang
i will soar just like you

你想去的地方 就是我的方向
ni xiang qu de di fang, jiu shi wo de fang xiang
where you wanna go, is where i'll go to

有我保护 笑容尽管灿烂
you wo bao hu, xiao rong jing guan can lan
having your protection, my smiles are as bright as the sun

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
mei you shui neng ba ni qiang li wo shen pang
no one can take you away from my side

你是我的 专属天使
ni shi wo de zhuan shu tian shi
you're my personal angel

唯我能独占
wei wo neng du zhan
that belongs to only me

没有谁能取代你在我心上
mei you shui neng qu dai ni zai wo xin shang
no one can replace you in my heart

拥有一个 专属天使
yong you yi ge zhuan shu tian shi
having a personal angel

我哪里还需要 别的愿望
wo na li hai xu yao bie de yuan wang
what kind of other wishes i can have?

要不是你出现
yao bu shi ni chu xian
If it wasn't you that appear

我一定还在沉睡
wo yi ding hai zai cheng shui
i would have been still asleep

绝望的以为 生命只有黑夜
jue wang de yi wei, shen ming zhi you hei ye
I thought that life revolves only around the night

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
mei you shui neng ba ni qiang li wo shen pang
no one can take you away from my side

你是我的 专属天使
ni shi wo de zhuan shu tian shi
you're my personal angel

唯我能独占
wei wo neng du zhan
that belongs to only me

没有谁能取代你在我心上
mei you shui neng qu dai ni zai wo xin shang
no one can replace you in my heart

拥有一个 专属天使
yong you yi ge zhuan shu tian shi
having a personal angel

我哪里还需要 别的愿望
wo na li hai xu yao, bie de yuan wang
what kind of other wishes i can have?

---

although i think 专属天使 should mean more like Guardian Angel... or like, exclusive angel... my personal angel also can la... i suppose. haha

aren't the lyrics just so nice? hai. that's why i love chinese songs so much more than those silly dumb english songs that just sing about sex and sex and more sex... and of course love is synonymous with sex... haiz.. what to do when society is so... messed up? turn to chinese songs that sing about love and angels being by your side giving you a reason to live on and not want anything.
*meltz*

hope you enjoyed it... why i love this song and listen to it at least once a day? it's coz it's taken from a Taiwanese drama i'm hopelessly hooked on... Hana Kimi. :P you can find it on Youtube. :P Ciaoz!

Korean MTV - Kiss

I hate how this always makes me tear... gosh.
p.s. it's 8minutes long. so only if you have time.



Hope you liked it.

Appreciated or Forgotten

It's often times that we forget those who mean the most to us when they're very near us. It's only when they leave or the situation changes that our tinted eyes are opened to the fact that we might not have what we enjoy for very long more. Then and only then do our hardened and desensitized hearts yearn to appreciate that someone. It's normally referred to as missing that person.

How sometimes we wait till it's too late. Till the sending off at the airport or the wake of that someone to express our appreciation. Isn't it too late to get it's desired purpose? How sometimes we wish we had more time or we wish we could turn back time so that you could just utter that one sentence or hug?

Well, this entry is dedicated to every one i know. whether i've told you how much i'm glad you're part of my life or not, i appreciate God's hand in leading me to know you. Over the course of this week, God reminded me to encourage certain people and to thank others. To appreciate a sister and to remember a brother. I must say that it's more blessed to give than to receive and i'm glad for the timely reminder.

Even when the world passes away and we all perish, there's still eternity. And as Debbie put it so beautifully in a closing prayer for the Exco, that she's so glad and happy to know this bunch of brothers and sisters in Christ who she can spend her human years on earth with and eternity in heaven.

Thank you, lest i never get to.

Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At the World's End

Hyper ventilates..Hyper ventilates..



Does anyone else suddenly feel a sense of purpose in their lives? I do. May 25th... oh gosh. it's so close.
but what is UP with choy yan fatt representing Singapore??? man... wazzup with his chinese garb! gosh.

Bike my way through Seletar

It's here!


My Mountain Bike. $98


It's finally here! heh, bought my bike today.. finally. it was $70 but after 'zhng-ing' all the stuff like mudguard, basket, bell [he threw that in free] and reflector lights [free too] the total price came up to $98... it was a little bit more than i expected to pay for a bike coz i was like, looking at $70-$95... but it's alrite.. it's not heavy, nice color [i love it] and huge i'll-run-you-down tyres... a whopping 26-inches can! it's like... one pedal and i'm 6 paces ahead.. haha okok. jus kidding... but they're real big...

Will bring it to camp on Wednesday and then my trip to the workshop and out everyday should be much better. i jus pray it won't get stolen. very stressed. haha... yayz. finally. hahaha.

p.s. realized i never did say my thanks for the kind words you guys said bout my prev post... so thanks tricia, nick and cheryl for saying it's worthy of competition, had good writing skill and a vivid description... thanks.. didn't expect it so was quite shocked when i saw the tags. heh...
will look forward to writing narratives again soon when i get the inspiration... who knows, maybe after tonite's sleep, i'll get another funny dream. haha...

...Mobilization...

I was sitting on my bed while the clocked ticked slowly to 7 o'clock in the evening. My phone chirped with the buzz of a call from a friend. 'Hmm Matthew?' i wondered as i flipped open the clamshell and raised the phone to my ear.

"Yo bro, wazzup?" i questioned as his voice came crisp over the phone.
"Hey man. Yo dude, i gotta tell you something." His voice sorta trembled as he confirmed my identity.
"Yo man, what happened?" I replied back warily.
"I did something bad man. I think... i think it's gonna have serious consequences dude. I think i'm going to be in big trouble because i seem to have.."

Before his sentence was through, my line was cut and an sms came through. 'What the?' i exclaimed as my phone did a twilight zone thing on me. I looked at the screen and saw a message that said 'Emergency Message. All reception has been barred.'
I pressed the 'READ' button and the rest was a blur. I recall seeing certain keywords like 'HBFNT' and my callsigns for the army. I checked again and before i knew it, my father burst into my room yelling for me to get changed and fall in at wherever my rendezvous location was. I was shocked for a moment before i realized 'oh shit. this is it. we're being attacked and that message... that was my mobilization message.'

i snapped up and grabbed my phone off the bed, as it had slipped down my hand earlier, and raced to my cupboard. Flinging it open, i manhandled my No.4 uniform and yanked the set out of the cupboard. As i started to change, i saw my dad from across the room already half dressed, as was my neighbour across the block. The lights on every house started flickering on as the nation realized one-by-one the urgency and imminent danger that was upon us. I hopped around as my pants refused to be worn. Looking down i realized why, in my frantic hurry, i realized i had forgotten to take off my shorts from before.

After changing i pulled my pack out from under the table, it's resting ground, and shoved a set of coveralls inside knowing that there's no way in my vocation could you do what i do in No.4 uniform.
"Mum! where's my other set of coveralls, i'm gonna need all of them!"
"In the cupboard, last drawer. It's still in the plastic bag coz you never wore that one." she hollered back.
Never wore it. Because i was saving it for a moment that i'll really need an extra set. A moment like this one.

As we rushed downstairs, i saw my dad's full corporal rank on his shoulder and got into the car. In moments, we dashed out of the carpark leaving everything we had behind to rush to a situation that was everything to this country. I recall thinking to myself... 'my gosh Rui, this is it. this it the moment we've all been training for, we've all had 2 years of our life cut out for. It's all happening now, this isn't a dream, wake up.' In that moment of self realization, i felt an emotion that coursed through every vein in my body. An emotion that burned through the limbs of my body and rose as a red vapour from the pores of my skin. It was the feeling of anger and passion, of enthusiasm and boldness. It was patriotism and a will to fight for the land i belong to. I have always thought that NS was a waste of time, but in this moment, the only thing in my mind was to defend my country, my friends and especially the 3 other people in the car with me; my family.

We dropped my mum and sister off at the drop zone for civilians and said our parting goodbyes. it's funny coz it never struck me, till later, that this could have been the last i saw of them, or them of me. My thoughts were focused and directed upon how to do what i do... when. A committed soldier willing to give up his time for his nation and heading to the warfront with only that thought in his mind. My dad and i got a lot and headed to fall in respectively at each of our rendezvous area. It was then that i saw my dad as a military man, in his faded uniform i normally see reservist men wearing, but yet still a military man.

[and then the rest isn't impt coz it's a blur but i recall that the mobilization ended up to be a big false alarm and that there was no imminent threat]

"gentlemen, you have done well to adhere to the mobilization timing and this just shows how efficient this organization is. well done and tonight, you can sleep easy knowing there is no threat."

I remember walking away from harbour front [dun ask me why] thinking to myself that although we didn't fight a war or had to kill anyone, i knew that we were all there not coz we had to be there, but coz we wanted to be there. to fight and defend everything we had and stood for.

and then a thought popped in my head.
"Oh my goodness. Matthew!"

---

And then i woke up. wah.. i tell you, the dream was SO real can... i really felt that burning emotion and will to fight in my dream and after waking up, i just sat there for a while thinking to myself how thankful i was that i was able to sleep easy every night. that someone somewhere is watching over this country and ready to call upon it's armed personnel to defend. It was weird, i never felt like i wanted to stay and fight... but this dream made me think twice.

Every guy would prob have this dream once in his 2 years or 13 year cycle... but to me, it was sorta cool. :)

Have a great Sabbath people!

Mosaic 2007 Day 1

First of all, to respect the person who msned me, i won't reveal the identity.. but maybe you are like the previous post... about how you think every entry i type is about you... but here goes what you said to me on msn.
without saying any names.

"I'm assuming your newest post was directed at me.
if it is.
I was talking about [i have intentionally left this part out for anonymity], you freaking git.
assumptions my ass."

4 messages laden with hate and anger.. sigh. why can't you jus leave me be and stop thinking i hate you? whatever it is, i hope these are the last words of hurt i hear from you. :) maybe you wanna take a moment [you know who you are] to take some time and think maybe this wasn't about you at all. and maybe a Christian shouldn't be going around calling people a 'freaking git'. I never called you one, not that it would justify you calling me one. :)

makes me wonder whether you can be the good guy and the bad at the same time.

---

today was real great. thanks for spending time with me. out of many many frens that have come and gone, your frenship is one i treasure highly. and i know you might not have started out the day all peachy happy and all, but i'm glad it changed and ended well. i will continue to try to look older... HAHA.. maybe. :) will look forward to our next cuppa or whatever. :) thanks for giving me the best evening i could have asked for.

ASSumptions

it's always fun to make people think i'm talkin bout them.

well, to shut up rumours... or rumour... hmm no, an assumption.

it's not a guy i'm talking about. DAAAAA! wrong. :P

dun go guessing, it'll only kill you. the intended person would know who she is. :) and you won't.
you are you know? so full of yourself you think everything must be spoken about you. :) no one's forcing you to read this blog. go, leave. if flames are all you have, you're not appreciated here.

and there i go again: *Boom*

No one can ever please everyone now can they? Even in help, people interpret it many ways. I won't even think of justifying myself or saying things that might make me look like some good person, because i'm not.

all i want is for you to see that i meant no harm or ill intention. my ways may not be what you agree with or are comfortable with. you didn't offend me dun worry, but i'll change. i'll change for you. Why? coz i'd rather you smile at me for one day rather than what it is now for the rest of my life or yours. and i'm sorry for puttin you in spots that aren't what you're comfortable with. I've already told her that i won't bother her about it... but i'm glad the two of you are so close. :) makes me smile.

and this goes out to everyone in general. if i have offended you in ways that i haven't realized or never mentioned... i'm sorry i did, please do forgive me. i fail many times. i try to learn, but God will only teach me thru failures. friends, family, people who hate me... whoever you are, do forgive me.

pls dun think i'm emo. i'm not. i'm jus glad to be able to see that God's behind all of this and that He's just showing me a tiny bit of what He went thru before He was spared of it all on the cross. To think He endured SO MUCH more till He gave up the ghost... any problems i face would be a dustmite compared to the 'grandeur' of the hate He was 'bestowed' upon.

He came not to retaliate... but He came to re conciliate us with the Father. no matter what we did and how we responded to His help and kind gestures. What did we do?

When He smiled at us, we laughed and scorned at Him.
When He touched and healed us, we whipped and flogged Him.
When He died for us, we killed Him even more with our rejection of the gospel.
When He rose and gave us life eternal, we said we don't need a God, esp not Him.

Brothers and sisters in Christ and people who have yet to trust in Him... think about this. take 5 minutes out of your time to commit your thots to Him. maybe you have had, like me, a chance to be reminded of His grace, mercy and love firsthand thru an experience or maybe it's jus thru what i jus blogged bout... how then do we relate what we go thru everyday to Him? :) It's times like this that i thank God the silver lining on every dark grey cloud is so obvious and evident that even a fool like me can see it shimmering in the sparkle of a moist and rained upon day. :)

Thank God, Thank Him. Thank You, Jesus.

A good end for a normal day

this song has been speakin to me a bit. love the chorus. Will upload the song asap.
lyrics are below.



Chris Tomlin - The Way I was Made
Caught in the half-life, I'm caught alone
Waking up to the sunrise and the radio
Feels like I'm tired of, what's holding me?
Just praying today will be the day I go free

I want to live like there's no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one's around
I want to sing like nobody's listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I'm not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made

Made in Your likeness, made with Your hands
Made to discover who You are and who I am
And All I've forgotten help me to find
All that You've promised let it be in my life

---

Today was good.. managed to do what i wanted to do with good company as well..

it was sweet. literally and i was able to get a taste of what the others were like. But most importantly, i'm glad for the company. something i've been dying for for a long time i guess. something that plays at my heart and makes me yearn to do sumthing yet not.

Hope you liked the small gift from the rest of us. it's bear-ly enough i think but i do hope you do, stop and smell the roses from time to time. :) and thanks for giving us jus one night out of that schedule of yours. i suppose it's been tough. and you know we're, at least i am, praying for you. what we did at the traffic light is jus a small indication of what we're doing for you every day oki?

tomolo seems like an ok day too. haha hopefully can come home and clear up the stuff i need to do. many many things need to be settled. it's great to be busy again. haha... yuppers. will look forward to the next day we can all fellowship again!
p.s. setting a positive mindset to a lot of things makes a world of a difference. :) Have a good week guys.

BGR RETREAT by Chien Chong!
Check in: 7pm, 9th March [Fri]
Check out: 12.30pm, 10th March [Sat]

Bring Bible, Stationary, Sleeping bag, a friend [if you can]
COME COME COME! It's gonna be SO fun!

Pursuit of Happyness

Today was absolutely fun. :) okok, so maybe that's an exaggeration... but it sure was a blast... not one bad thing about the day actually... kinda... minus the dumb runny nose. haha. so the day started out late, jus the way i love it.

Got out of bed at 7 plus to get ready and met up with Alvin a little late. so sue me, i was late... sorry. Realized, after waiting, that we didn't have much time to take a slow bus so we ended up cabbing to Vivo... arrived like 20 minutes late but didn't kenna anything except having to explain ourselves of stuff to various people who bothered to ask... or point fingers at. :)
Took the new monorail thingy to Sentosa and after walking a bit, found ourselves at the Entrance of the 4D Magix show...

It was about Pirates and it was quite cool [though TOTALLY not worth the money]... got water effects, wind, air, movement.. everything la.. so it did engage the senses la.. but like i said, it's NOT worth like wad? $16 lor. haha luckily the army paid for everything. ahha... yeh, so it was a cool experience that i'm glad i didn't pay for. haha

Went to the Luge ride after that. that was prob the best part of the trip can.. it was like super fun.. even though this was the 2nd time i'm doing this... i guess it helped coz the first time was like learning how to use it, this time... i jus chionged. haha started out the 4th guy in our grp coz of the Queue... but as i raced down the hill, i passed people like Kelvin, Commando and even Warren Low. haha.. it was cool can. jus speeding down the road swerving left and right.. it was a total kinda escape-from-worldly-worries-and-jus-race-down-in-reckless-style time. hahah.. :) cool can. it's a must for you if you go... but it's a bit pricey though. so get your boyfren to pay. :)

Had OTOT till bout 12.10pm where we met at GV Vivo to watch 'Pursuit of Happyness'... that was quite a good show can.. it seemed quite long [we sat inside there for 20 minutes of trailers and advertisements.. i almost died]... but it was a good show.. feel good and stuff when ya walk out, but the whole show quite depressing overall until it picks up later. :) There were moments in the film that was moving and sad at the same time.. but it was manageable. haha.. i do recommend the show to whoever wants a show to watch.. it's worth jus having a thot-provoking moment.. :>

After that, i had my retail therapy with Reid, Alvin and Ada... i went crazy coz i bought a jacket i was eyeing from a shop.. then went to a shop nearby and fell in love with another more suitable jacket which cost less and yet could reverse so it's like 2 jackets... argh. was so angry that i bought the first jacket.. so in a moment [which lasted really long coz i have a very rational mind when it comes to spending money]... i decided to buy it also... ended up coming home with 2 jackets and a jeans... all bought at one shot [kinda]... wowz.. it was great manz... having new clothes and wearing them gives you a enthu high that's hard to match...

i guess there's this part of me that's very different from normal guys... i like to shop. even when i'm not shopping... as in, if a fren needs to shop, i'd very much love to go with that person and jus be a shadow or aid in their shopping experience..
and when i DO shop for myself [which is rare]... i do find joy in buying sumthing new. quite... fulfilling i guess. haha so maybe i'm jus weird, i dun really care, i do like this... haha
And i'm not brand-conscious... otherwise i wouldn't have bought what i did today. haha trust me. :0

then after that had a nice dinner and more window shopping with alvin and ada.. it was kinda fun to get to know her too la... then after that headed home to jus rest after a long day of activities and shopping. ha... such a great day. :)

Retail Therapy rawks my socks off. :>
now, ON TO THE WEEKEND! :)

Cohesion Events Galore!

There are a few people who should skip this entry totally.

1. Those who are about to enter the NS and wanna see what it's like.
2. Those already in NS and are PES A and B.

For the rest, enjoy.

---

So this week has been and still is a very interestingly free and fun week.
Monday
Coz of sum errand i had to run, i took a half day off. So there was no work for me with regards to the afternoon though the morning was spent in the workshop... which is always tiring but fun. :) Getting the chance to learn more and more from the seniors and seeing how they can impart little workshop skills not taught in the books. So after finishing my errand, met up with Dad to look at some cars. However, in the span of an hour or more waiting for him at Eunos, i was approached by this guy called Eugene. I offered him a seat next to me at the steps coz he was like squatting. After doing his survey, i chatted up with him asking him what studies he's doing now and all. He's going into NS soon but came from ACJC so we chatted a bit and i encouraged him to keep approaching people and all.
After that when dad came, we left to ubi where we checked out some cars and then headed home for a relaxing night.
Tuesday
COHESION EVENT! We went to Singapore Science Centre and watched Omnimax about the Human Body. was so cool can. seeing the intricate stuff about how a body works and all, jus reminded me of what an Amazing God we have... to put it all together and without error. :) Then we OTOT-ed till about 12.30 where we were dismissed. Spent a little while going back in to fully enjoy my Science Centre experience... then went to town area to shop for Prom Shoes with Sing. it was fun jus chilling with her and shopping with a girl again... dun really get to do that much nowadays.. so that was kinda like old times. Then we made our way to Cathay to get the tickets. Watched Half Nelson with Rachel and Tricia and then headed to SMU after that to meet up with Debz and Jiamin.
Had a nice chicken rice dinner whereby Justin joined us after. The two of us went to eat Dao-Huey at Selegie while debz and jiamin headed back to sch and rach and tricia went to raffles city.
After having a nice chat and sharing session with my best bud, we headed to meet up with the girls and head home. It was a great and fulfilled day. ah. :>
Wednesday
Today was COOL! spent the whole day working in the workshop and really just being more and more confident about the vehicle i'm working on. :) it's always fun to get dirty coz once you've gotten dirty, you'll be willing to do anything after that. and that wad makes the day fun and happening. :) Subsection 1 rawks. haha. Went home after work coz i didn't end up doing wad i originally planned on. it's ok, it was still good.
Thursday
Most of the senior people will be away so it'll be a relaxing day. can work slow coz work's already assigned and it isn't much la. so we'll see... quite slow i guess so yayz. :> Care Ministry Seminar in the evening. hope i got energy for it.
Friday
COHESION EVENT 2
Heh, we're going to Sentosa for the Luge Ride, 4D Magix show and GV Vivocity for 'Pursuit of Happyness'... all paid for by our darling army. yayz. haha it's going to be fun fun fun. maybe going to sun tan too. yayz. then i'll be more tan than i already am... then my name would be like.. joel tanner... but i'm not a tenor.. i'm a bass.. hmmm HAHA k k, enuf nonsense. :)
Got half day off though. hmmm haha... see what to do. :>


Yup... that's the weekdays so far. whee! fun fun. Dun hate me, hate the people i work for, they organize the things, not me. haha