Oh bloody hell... time to pack my bags and move

Interesting piece of news I have chanced upon tonight...

I guess it's a call to be the better man and move. pack up my things and... seek for greener pastures... lolz. i can't go into too much detail coz i dun trust the online space... but hmmm :)

Guess I should trust my suspicions more...

 

On other news... got rejected by more job applications. :) it's becoming a norm to get rejections now.. i sumtimes dun even hope for a good result anymore when i see the mail in my gmail inbox... sigh. :) God's testing is preciously trying.... ahh.... i kinda need a good thing here... jus a bit.

Positive... stay.. positive. it's so hard sumtimes...

Faith That Works! Belgrave Heights Convention Testimony

So I wrote up a testimony for the OCF website... thot i'd plonk it here too since i DID sau i'll do a writeup... :)

Faith That Works

 

Indeed, this year's Belgrave Heights Convention theme was an assurance and a challenge at the same time. Assuring us that our faith produces works and that having the integrity and wisdom to match our actions with our words was truly something to think about as we spent close to 4 days and 3 nights up in cold but comfortable Belgrave Heights. Speaking from the Word of Proverbs and 2 Corinthians, our two God-inspired speakers Jonathan Lamb and Vaughan Roberts gave us insights and teachings from the Bible that puts our faith to the test.

 

Being a new comer to Belgrave, I was initially uncertain on whether the time spent up in Belgrave was going to be just one of fun and games with a few messages thrown in. However, I was greatly encouraged by the Word and devotions that we had undertaken as part of our time spent with Christian brothers and sisters. Honestly, one cannot ignore the fact that a lot of the reason why we, as OCFers, enjoy and look forward to Belgrave is due to the awesome and endless fellowship opportunities we have with each other. However, one can also not ignore the intense and yet bite-sized teachings we received. Having 8 teaching sermons over an average of 3 days was interestingly very easy to swallow.

 

One particular sermon that really spoke to me and challenged me was the Taming the Tongue message. I shared with the discussion group I was in that it really made me re-think a lot of the things I say and to always season my lips with salt, of course not literally that is, but to ensure that the words that leave my mouth are one to build up and not to tear down others. Even in the flippant joke, one may cause hurt that have far implicating effects that can stay with a person for a long time. The group shared about past experiences which still remain in our minds and also times we have encouraged and built up others. It's so easy to encourage and build up others, it barely costs us anything but it is as easy to tear down and discourage someone as well. With that said and done, the other sermon messages were so helpful in also picking out Wisdom-filled truths from Proverbs and also living Christian lives of integrity from 2 Corinthians.

 

I would highly encourage anyone to go for Belgrave when it swings by again next year. One thing I have regretted in these past 2+ years in OCF... Only going for Belgrave Heights Convention this year. However, don't trust me on how awesome the short camp was, go and ask others. Believe me, they will all say the same. Why? Because especially in this aspect, I have full confidence to say that I have Faith That Works!

Belgrave Heights Convention

Woah. BHC was amazing. So glad i went. i'm real tired now coz of it... so i can't blog but i do intend on blogging a post about it... but yeh, feel really convicted to really pay attention to my tongue again... to watch what i say and not be flippant about things or people.. and to think before i say anything... awesome teaching by brilliant speakers jonathan lamb and vaughen roberts. amazing.

plus the fellowship was so good! :)

Changes in my life and Belgrave

Since i last blogged, there have been major changes in my life... Needless to say, i'm adjusting to them and getting a new look on life in terms of many things... One thing I AM right now is unemployed... the job hunt is quite depressing. Sometimes i wish people would stop asking me how it's going... coz it's really honestly jus depressing to keep getting either no replies or rejection in the email... It sucks coz i wait and wait for them to reply and then my heart skips a beat when i see a new mail... whether it really is from the companies or not, that's one thing but when i DO see it's from them, i jus pray and hope... and then i say a short prayer and open the mail... and it's always been negative generic replies... I guess after one too many, it starts to get to you... it gets to me. But then i pray and thank God for the opportunity that i took to apply and jus pray for whatever else that's left...

I just gotta keep my mind positive like always. And trust. Prov... :)

Speaking about trusting and Proverbs, I thank God for my good fren who's responded to God's call... it took a while but abi's now officially a sister in Christ! :) yayyyy. haha... i'm so glad that her fervent spirit and willing heart has led her to find out more about God and seek Him. You can tell when a converted soul has found God... the genuiness and sincerity i see in her is just.. inspiring. It makes me really look at myself and question whether I can recapture that passion to follow and chase after God that i see in her. :) But here's to many years of seeking Him, learning more about Him and loving Him and others as well. :) So happy for u!

Tomolo... nay, later on today [coz it's 4am] i'm going to Belgrave... it's been 2 years that i've been in OCF and this is my first Belgrave Convention... took me long enuf and i ran out of excuses this year. hahaha. no seriously, i'm quite glad i signed up full time... i wanna claim all the chances i can get to get the word of God from inspired and inspiring speakers... and this year there are seminars regarding technology and the gospel. how cool. excited for that. :) i'm also leading a grp this year [talk bout heavy]... but i'm always glad for a chance to lead and facilitate the discussion of God's word... this time, i've got 2 co-leaders to mentor and guide... i think they'll be fine as they are. :) Rachel and Matt Tan... my grp is ruled by the Tan clan!!! haha Joel Tan, Rachel Tan, Matt Tan.. mwahhaha. :) we'll jus Tan-i-fy everyone!!! :) Speechless, yeh i know... i have that effect. :) But yeh, looking forward to Belgrave... it's gonna be a time that i try my best to catch up with people.. get my roots in and secure them with this camp. :) i have to look out for the future. :)

That said, i should sleep. :) night world. it's been too long, i apologize. but i haven't had the mood to blog for a while.. didn't really want to immortalize some stuff i was going thru. :) i'm sure u understand. mwhaah... ok let me summarize my last few months... SINGAPORE FOOD MELBOURNE SPLIT SINGAPORE GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL FOOD MELBOURNE JOBLESS. :) there. done. ahhahaha. :)

GOOSE KNIGHT!

Lunar New Year

It's the first day of CNY and the atmosphere this year isn't that high as last years... it felt this way for Christmas as well. scary to think, maybe i'm jus not getting out of the house enuf to feel the air and all... but this year feels jus like a long weekend break and stuff. :) I'm jus sitting at home waiting for my mum to finish getting ready, then we're gonna head out of the house for visitation... oh. that reminds me, gotta bring a bag and a pen. :)

Life has been generally good as of late... on all fronts, the Lord is still merciful and gracious... of course there are struggles in terms of many things but generally, as long as i can breathe, live and laugh, i can praise... so i'm gonna keep that thot, hunger and thirst after God and give Him the space to mould this clay the way He wants to.

Other than that, this break has been spent meeting up with frens, catching up and jus spending time with my singapore frens.. dunno when's the next time i'll be back so this is quite an impt thing to me... to think my new melb house is waiting for me when i go back is exciting and yet scary considering how i am not unemployed and really jus gonna have to go there to fight to survive... :) might take up a part time job first la. coz i dun think any full time jobs look promising as of now, nor have they replied me on my applications. :( haha... owells. it's gonna be like this for a while i bet.

Moving House!

This is the living room the night before moving house. I've already moved quite a lot of things like clothes, monitor, speakers and stuff there but seems like there are still loads to move.

Dun worry, half of that is my housemate's too... But still, my living room is no longer a place to rest and relax. It's a place to stack and store. Haha. :)

~ Joel Tan ~
--- Sent from my E63 ---

Graduation, Christmas, New Year's, New House, Furniture

This has been an OVER OVERDUE post and it's not even gonna be complete. i'm so sorry for those who have been waiting [i.e. 1 person] for a new post... been SWAMPED with things to do since graduation... going for roadtrip with parents, getting them ready to leave, sending them off, christmas itself, then new year's eve and new year's day... and after all that, i was really stressed out till recently coz we lost an apartment we were hoping to get and everything was looking bleak.

Till we found one along lygon that ticked all the boxes and really seemed like a good place and affordable place to move into... ended up applying for it and throwing everything we had at the agent [willing to move in immediately, willing to pay 2 months rent upfront in advanced]... and after a few days of anxious praying and waiting... the agent called up and said that we got the place. i will always remember standing at aussie post across the road from my house and getting that call. he asked me how i was feeling and i said i was very nervous... then he said that i got the place and a HUGE burden/weight jus got lifted off my chest... amazing relief i tell u...

So we got the place, got the keys on friday and went to inspect and record down all the faults of it [like stains and cracks]... discussed a lot with davin about so many things... but all in all, we're really quite glad for the place... it's a bit of a way out and up from the city, but i guess we're willing to do that distance for the type of house we're staying in and the price... for the price, we're actually getting quite a good deal... no where in the city, can you get the newness of this house, the space/size of this house, the ammenities like tram... so we're both happy la... the tram's right outside our door [no 10min walk to the tram stop or having to wait for the city circle at the city circle timings].. and the trams 1 and 8 are quite frequent in the morning and the day which means transport shouldn't be a problem. :)

So to cut things short, we bought a table and 4 chairs for the house dining area... both of us just recently managed to secure our beds... and today we're going to ikea to settle the rest of the furniture for our rooms [study tables, chairs, bed side tables] what have u not... :) i'm really quite glad we got our beds for so cheap... well, at least davin did. he took rachelle's old bed and mattress for only $40!!! that's such a mad steal... i bought a good mattress and a very sturdy bed frame from someone off gumtree for $150... i would have liked it cheaper, but it's a high quality mattress [sealy] and the bed frame is quite solid as well.. PLUS, there's quite a big space underneath it so i can store stuff like my guitar case or anything i might not need that i have here... like extra shoes.

I know this entry isn't long or informative about the christmas and new year period but i guess i'm glad to be doing it finally after neglecting the blog for so long... i'll jus do a quick shout about christmas and new years la.

Christmas eve, parents and elizabeth street gang [minus hannah] had a nice awesome christmas dinner and we were able to spend quality time together just chatting and enjoying the whole festive season... christmas day was spent in church in the morning and then sent the parents off... and then going to eleanor brodie's house for an AWESOME banquet of meat and stuff... sooo delicious!

New year's eve, we went to CJ's house for rock band and then went to this highway at kew that overlooked the city... went for fireworks and everytime cars drove under the big highway overpass, they would honk a long honk and all the people on the bridge would shout and wave down. ahha fun! but the fireworks were very mehhh. haha then after that, the bridge church people and us all went maccas to eat our first meal of 2011... i decided to wait for something better so most of us, like me, skipped eating and just sat there chit chatting. :)

alrite, i'm off to work now. it's a tuesday and it's my 3rd last day... today, thurs, then next tues and i'm done... so close to flying home and i haven't settled quite a bit of stuff with the new home. still got loads and loads of things to move... hoping to get them all done soon.. that includes files that i packed yesterday and smaller things like heater, fan, speakers, monitor, kitchen stuff, more clothes... books.. AHHH  ahahaha. :)

ciaoz! take care peeps!

The One about Graduating

I'm real busy recently so no time to post up a new blog post but.... I'VE OFFICIALLY GRADUATED FROM MELBOURNE UNI!!!! woo hoo! hahah pics are slowly coming up on facebook and i'll make sure i type out a blog post about it. maybe tonite... gotta run to work real soon. sigh. trying veryvery hard to stay positive today. i'll just keep smiling even when i get scolded. And i'll think of a happy song and sing it while i'm being told i'm not doing things the way the boss wants them done... :) I'VE GOTTA FEELING, THAT TONITE'S GONNA BE A GOOD NIGHT!!! lolz... or sum other song. hmm hahaha. i won't get down today.. nope. :)

Will be updating this post soon!!! watch this space.

The one about Manly Ferry

wooo. On my way from Sydney's Cirrular Quay towards Manly Bay via the Manly Ferry. :) Sydney rocks and it's fun to just be on a holiday. :)

Last time i was on a ferry was Tasmania and strong winds those were... The other time before that was... tekong! :s

Heh. Enjoyin the ride and free wifi onboard... A very rare thing with aussie stuff... Even our hotel didn't have free wifi. Must pay for internet. :s haha

~ Joel Tan ~
--- Sent from my E63 ---

The One about results and prepping for Sydney

So as most of you know, and if u already didn't... this semester is my last semester in university pending me passing all my subjects this year. If so, i would graduate on the 15th of December and will officially be no longer a student... However, this semester, i faced one of the hardest subjects of my uni life mainly becoz i hate math and as an Information Systems undergraduate, a math subject was a core and compulsory subject... therefore, i was 'forced' to take Quantitative Methods 1, a year 1 commerce subject that was said to be easy and simple....

TOTALLY not easy and simple for a guy who never ever did well in A math in sec school and excelled in computing math only to stop needing to do math in poly year 2... so effectively, i have not been doing math for easily 3-4 years... and here i am, jumping straight into stats with people who have just come out of aussie high school fresh with the knowledge and formulae of math...

i struggled SO hard and really got thru the subject coz of friends in my class whom i made during the course of the semester and obviously God's grace... yesterday, my results came out and i managed to get a 65 for it... trust me, 65 is MORE than I deserve for it... and I thank God coz it's one of those, u know it's God coz it's impossible without Him, kinda things... and yeh, THANK THE LORD ALMIGHTY... i'm clear to graduate now... the only thing standing between me and my graduation are the days that lie in the middle. :)

Yayyyy! As for now, i'm leaving for Sydney with mum for a week's worth of holidaying. :) excited.... but also my heart is burdened by the things Hannah is going thru in singapore... she's real busy and feeling the strain of it... so i'm praying hard for her too. :) stay strong dear, know that your heavenly Father is the unlimited source of strength and you can always find comfort in His loving arms.... keep up the great work and work for God... in whatever you do, give thanks always.

See you guys soon!

The one about missing his gf who's in Vietnam

I know this should be a blog post about my recent roadtrip to Ballarat with Calvin, Lynette and Phyllis which was... AWESOME. :) but i'm waiting for work now and i dunno whether i'm in the mood to blog about that.. but it was a great experience and place to visit... that said, i'll post up an update later on today about it maybe... or tomorrow. :)

Right now, i'm honestly dreading work and the day in general... why? maybe becoz it's a full day of work and that means the chance to get scolded by my boss or for me to do sumthing wrong, to not close a deal or to mess up someone's screen protector or sumthing. so many factors that can go wrong... i'm jus praying for a few factors... for instance thanking God that it's raining so hopefully there'll be a drastic drop in the number of customers coming in today. that would be fabulous if there are less people coz that means less serving and more housekeeping like pricing and sorting out the wall of products. :) i dun mind doing that, i just hate that my boss pressures us to make sales and makes a fuss when they walk out of the shop without buying anything.

Praying also that Nat would be around coz that means that it's not just my boss and i but also my 2nd level boss and he's not too concerned with selling... i think it's the pressure that i really dun like... but i'll take it all in my stride and strive to be a better christian worker. :)

Also, i feel quite down now coz Hannah's in Vietnam with her family.. she's on a holiday and that means i can't see her online or stuff. i'm hoping coz she has internet there that she can still email back coz i miss her quite a bit and i am REALLY REALLY trying so hard not to think about 20th Jan coz that's just to far to think about. i gotta take each day slowly and if i dun watch the dates, it'll be 20th jan so quickly.. i pray... then at least i'll be on my way back to spore and then i can see her and hug her again. :( yeh, i'm needy like that... hannah left on the 19th, that's only been 6days [not even a week] and i'm already pinning for going back. :( lolz... will try my best to just keep praying for her safety and our relationship in general whenever i miss her, i bet i'll be a very prayerful man these 2 months. haha.

Yep, so chowing down on my custard almond dessert/breakfast thing now. :) bought from ballarat from 'the best bakery in australia' apparently. hahaha hmm :) but yeh, pics of the trip are on fb... go see. :)

Coz i haven't written poetry in the longest time, let's jus try to whack out one now... just for kicks.

Into God's arms i'll run to,
Because He's the only one that holds true.
The Lord's love wipes away,
All the pain and longing so i can face my day.

God, watch over her and keep her well,
from dangers, hurt and pain none can tell.
Help her to have a good holiday,
So that she can return home safe and okay.

lolz... oki that's enuf. i can't do this with my 'tenth avenue north' playing in the background.

The one about taking the last exam of his uni life... hopefully

So I prepared as best I can and went to take my QM paper today... real bad experience coz i didn't know how to do quite a few... it was harder than the sample papers but sum were quite ok... so i jus did what i could and prayed for grace for the ones i guess/tried and sobbed for the ones i didn't know how to do at all. hahaha.

Sat there the whole duration and was still trying till they said pens down... so i'm glad i didn't waste any effort... of course, not saying that the effort i put in at the end would do any good coz it was jus desperate writings of stuff i knew was already wrong but hoping they'd give pity-marks for workings... or sumthing. hahaha.

But yeh, that concludes my exams. now to party!!!! and settle a TON of other things... syd trip, next year's accommodation and loads of other things. :( lolz.. but first... OCF!

oh.. and thank God hannah arrived home safely. :) always feel it's so cool that people can leave here and arrive in a totally diff country in a few hours time. :)

The one about sitting in the Sun waiting for Davin

so here i am, sitting in the hot hot melbourne sun waiting for my housemate to finish his exams so i can head back together... Today's paper was alrigHt. 30% so i'm not too stressed bout it and i think my answers were pretty alright. :)

Jus glad that i'm 2 exams down and 1 more to go... 1more exam till i end uni life.. Weird though but great feeling when it's all done i'm sure. Worried bout the last one though... QM. :( i hate it with a vengence. :)

Ah! The sun is so hot. :( come out nowwww fasterrr. Haha. Should be anytime soon la...4.15 already. :)

Also, been studying with hannah around and jus spending time with her before she flies back to Spore tml... The next time we're going to meet again is 2 months from today so that's a bummer. Jus thank God for the ability to be with her now . :) she's such a blessing from God I thank Him for. :)

~ Joel Tan ~
--- Sent from my E63 ---

The one about my Professional Issues exam paper

Woo! the first exam paper is done and done... it was real easy... thank God for that and I think i hit the nail on the head on a lot of things... that's Asian memorizing for you aussies!!! :) esp the definitions, i dun see why she won't give me full marks for quite a number of them considering how it's literally word-for-word according to the lecture slides... awesome possum. i'm real glad the studying paid off...

Now, 1 more paper tomorrow [my open book one] and finally the dreaded Quantitative Methods [math] paper on friday then i'll be DONE WITH UNIVERSITY!!! :) awesome... can't frigging wait. :)

Really just want to thank God so much for helping me do this paper with confidence and ease... i'm glad everything i studied came out and for the things i didn't study coz i must have missed it, God helped me recall stuff from during the semester. :) coolio.

The one about testing my mobile blogging thru email

Sorry, this post is just to test if i can blog thru my handphone straight to blogger thru email. :)

If this works, i'm gonna sleep now. Gotta prep for tml's exam. Night people!

~ Joel Tan ~
--- Sent from my E63 ---

The one before I sit for the last few exam papers of my Uni life

It's finally here... the night before my first paper... i have been dreading the exams and at the same time looking forward to getting it done. It's weird coz these 4 days and 3 papers will mark the last few moments of my life as a Uni student and as much as i want the exams to come and go and let me have my fun holidays, i can't believe that at 4.30pm on friday, i would have finished my last official act as a uni student [minus me collecting my results online and graduating in dec]...

But i'm glad i guess that it's gonna be done... at least the exams... i have been studying and studying and i jus want it to get over and done with. esp QM on friday coz that's the last paper... and the paper i'm most worried about... haiz. only God can bring me thru that one. hahaha

Also, helped hannah pack just a bit today... she basically packed while i studied on her bed and then i'd help when i wanted a break from studies.. and she's gonna move tomorrow [thanks to our dear fren calvin who's mel's bf]... he offered to drive her things to and fro from hannah's old place to mel's house [hannah's new place] thank God for friends like him who really go out of their way to help... but yeh... hannah's leaving on thurs back to spore. :( one day before my last paper... TOTAL bummer.. but i'm glad she can go back and spend solid time in singapore with family and friends. :)

Alrite, time to go to sleep. got a paper tomorrow!

The one about Pancakes

I think i'm gonna try to name all my blog posts from now on jus like how they name friend's episodes. haha so funky. helps me keep track too...

Yesterday i had pancakes for breakfast and i think i've mastered the art of making golden brown pancakes. Used to always worry when i flip them over whether they'll be nice and brown or yellow or even worse, blackish... but so far, i've done 8 or so and they've all been beautiful. :P i'd say the key to that is timing [duh], BUTTER not oil.. and low heat... problem is mine isn't fire... so it's a bit hard to figure out what's low heat for an electrica l stove... but i've got it!

thus, i'm making pancakes again this morning coz the pancake mix still haven't finished yet. haha prepping to go to church. it'll be the last sunday hannah and i will worship together in church before she flies back to singapore... that lucky girl. hahaha :)

oops, better go make sure it's ready to flip!

Hannah's Dance Performance 2010

A few of us [Davin, Phyllis, Selena, Jillian and I] went to watch Hannah's end-of-year dance performance last nite and it was so good. :) I'm really just glad that God is giving Hannah talents in not just ballet but in other forms of dance as well. Dance styles such as Contemp and all, she's pulling the moves off really well and i'm really proud of her. She danced so well last nite. There was one part where she had to run 3/4 of the stage to match up with a girl who was running only 1/2 the stage and hannah jus BOLTED to her mark and executed the moves in-sync with the other girl. SO AMAZING... she did so well for that and for so many other things as well. :)

Also, i recognized the part where they danced in 2 diagonal lines. They practiced it during Open Day in Aug... and i remember sitting there in the dance studio watching them rehearse that.. so it was pretty neat. haha... but i was really impressed... the dance was 19mins long... and they were so good. :)

 

Today's Friday... and in a week's time... i'll be taking my LAST exam paper of my uni life [hopefully]... it's weird to think that 2 years have flown by and what awaits me is work till i die or retire... whichever one comes first. :S and on to study now! gotta claim the day and get as much studying done... :) see ya!

Thursday Work

Sigh, i am trying to find joy and enthusiasm about working on thursdays... i guess it's not so much about work but more like how long the work day is and how tiring it'll be.. and possibly also how there'll obviously be chances for the boss to scold me for doing something not to his favour [notice i didn't say doing something wrong but doing something that's not like what HE does... all of us who work with him know that about him, it may not be the right way but if it's not HIS way, it's wrong... and we just gotta work with that]... but yeh, i'm going to face this day as how i always face this day... with prayer for my boss, co-workers, customers and basically anyone I will be meeting on this day... and then CHOOSING to stay positive, not to take things personally and to learn. sigh.

Yesterday was Hannah's first performance for the her end-of-year production and I heard that it was really good... thank God that Auntie Rina's flowers got to her too... was stressed that the delivery man wouldn't be able to find her and stuff. :) haha.. but it's all good. And I'm looking forward to going tonight to see my gf dance her heart out. :)

Yeh, but studying is going too slowly and a part of me is getting stressed that my exams are fast approaching [next tues - fri] but i'm also looking forward to getting them done and done with. :) yep...

Waking up slow

Sigh, told myself to wake up early at 9am today and ended up waking up, smsing the gf, switching off my alarm and going back to sleep. Woke up at 11... as predicted yesterday and wasted 2 hours of possible study time. sigh. i really dun like myself sumtimes. :(

Today's wednesday, i better make the best of it and study hard coz tml i know i'll be too tired after work to put in real good study... so today's kinda a full day of study i don't wanna be wasting away. :) can't wait till next friday though. this semester's exams are so fast i'm so glad. like no exams till 16th then WHAM BAM and i'm done on the 19th... eeps! :)