Be Still My Heart Lyrics

Be Still My Heart - Silje Nergaard

My heart is not lonely or broken
It's not of ice or of gold
Nor has my heart ever spoken
To me when a love has grown cold
I felt not the faintest flatter
When you brushed my cheek as you passed
Nor will I willingly clutter
My life with these thing that don't last

[chorus]
Be still my heart
My heart be still
Be still my heart
My heart be still

If our eyes should meet then so be it
No need to trouble the heart
That is hidden where no one can free it
Only to tear it apart

It's times like this where i wonder what God has planned for me, what He has that's so much better, what i can't think of that He already knew when He spoke to Adam. He knew me, He knows me, He will keep knowing me.
I need the weekend. And i need it now. My mind's too messed up to carry on without Him. My thots are distracted and my desires are wrong. Temptation to slip and slide is a bit overwhelming. Thank God i don't really have a choice, lest i be tempted worst. But on the other hand, a choice wouldn't be all that bad. tee hee. Sunday's almost within reach. I feel, breathe and hear the Sabbath. thank goodness it's close. I dunno what i'd do if i weren't a Christian. Religion to me is everything my life revolves and should revolve around.

FO Comm Presents! Heh, my small gift to the FO Comm. :) Glad they liked it... i put it on a normal kinda photo card thing like a R4 card thing. Then i wrote a note for each on the back. :) Yeh anyways, the 2nd picture is another version but i preferred the black and white version coz it's nicer. :) Thank You FO Comm.

Naruto Jigsaw

It is complete. It is Finally Complete!!! mwhahaha!

I have been working on this for like wad 2 weeks? everyday jus do a bit here and there here and there. haha finally, it is finished. haha sounds like Jesus' words on the cross... but no la. it's nuthing compared to Him dying for us on the cross. :)
Here it is!

One with the frame... can't wait to properly frame it up and hang it on the wall. :) I'll snap another pic of it when i get it up. :)



Yup, cool or cool? :) 1000 pieces, $2.90. Yes Leona, i know you'll kill me. but trust me, it was a faith buy coz the sign said, "$2.90. May contain missing pieces"... like what the.... missing piec... wad the... hahaha... so i jus bought it hoping nuthing's missing and while i did it i was like. pls pls pls. HAHAHA.. but thankfully everything's there otherwise the whole jigsaw would have been ruined and worthless. :)

Phew. looking back ah, it was REALLY tough can. 1000 pieces is MADNESS when every piece is like goodness. nvm. hahaha. jus know it was a tough tough job. :) wanna thank a few people [haha so oscars]
August for pei-ing me to buy it.
Mum and Sab for helping out fix it when i groaned.
Sab for taking the photo since.. since.. since i lost my baby [camera phone]
Jigsaw uncle for selling me all 1000 pieces [though i dun forgive you for that rotting frame!]

yay yay! haha... ok i am a happy man. :)It's HUGE man! haha so big! yay
this jigsaw was bought on the 15th of Mar and completed on the 27th of March 2006. 12days.

Devotion - This is what's devotion. I haven't been able to stop thinking or praying about Youth Sunday since i woke. Spent some time praying last nite and though you dun really hear HIM speaking auidably, I feel so much better knowing He hears me, that He lives and that He's God of gods, Lord of lords. There is none Higher, none Worthier, none Greater than the Lord God. And I speak directly to Him.

Youth sunday is happening in 2 hours. Time is 7am right now. All ready in front of my computer. Woke at 6.30am today... it was funny, my body and mind jus woke up by itself. Went to my phone and switched off the alarm the moment it came on... it was like i preceeded the alarm. :) Thank God.

Pray that everything goes smoothly, people point the congregation to God and that I will be a humble, worthy servant of the Most High. Exalted and Holy, He reigns and rules. May this small sunday service be an offering fit for King, delivered by a Servant. May you be Glorified Lord!

Bye z800i

Yup, this is the last nite i'll be using my Sony Ericsson z800i. :) i'll surely miss it greatly... with the snap flap. sigh. love you loads z800i, this blog was created coz of you.... owells, i guess we knew this day would come. :S doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye. guess i won't be snapping youth sunday stuff wif this phone anymore. Gotta return it to school today. sniff

I'll miss you. Have fun making the next owner's life a miserable one. :) i've made sure your keypad is only functioning if you have hard nails or strong fingers. :) yay. haha...

Goodbye.

Mummy's Eye Operation

Hey, today has been an eventful day... woke up late for Music Camp and ended up getting a lift to church. yay! ahah but anyways... nearing the end of the camp, i received comfirmed news that my mum had to have surgery today...

K, this is the background *insert smokey smoke here as we flashback*
3 plus days ago, my mum complained to me about her vision. she said that at the bottom right corner of her left eye, there was this patch that hinders her vision. At fist it was only when she changed focus from near objects to far.. but as the days went by, she said that it was getting constantly in the "way"... so we did some research and the stuff on the net said to get help immediately... to get it consulted wif a Eye Specialist la... so my nagging finally paid off and she decided to see an Eye Doctor today...

Apparently, it was quite bad... almost
*if you do not wish to hear details about my mum's eye, please move on to the next paragraph. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.*
almost half of her retina was torn or well, displaced la.. coz the whole thing is called Displace Retina... and so they had to patch it back and all. :S Yeh, so they managed to and the op was a success...

The thankful thing was that the Doc said that they might have to pump gas into the eye and the gas had to be kept upright or sumthing like that, that means she had to lie face flat for the whole day... wah.. that's nuts la.. can you imagine?!?! goodness. thankfully there wasn't a need to and she can be in any posture now.

Yup. so overall, it was a very successful op... the nurses and docs were very helpful and kind.. a nurse called home jus now to check on my mum... Nurse Aw!!! i shall make special mention to her coz she was so helpful in the hospital and even followed up on my mum.. whether it's part of her job or not, the thing is that she did. and that's all that matters... so touching...

yeh, here are some photos of today. :) Went to National Eye Centre... SNEC... :) And that's Pirate Mummy... you know how they always say One-Eyed-Jack... well, she's One-Eyed-Jen. :) hahaha

thanks to all who prayed, listened and thought of my mum today. In no special Order...
August, Nicholas, Joash, Linda Lee, Patrick Ang, Jacq Goh, Jodi, Debbie, Angel, Yan Sing, Ian

Thank you so much... it means alot to me that you people cared.. cared beyond words. :)

Paris Wallpaper

First attempt at actually making a proper wallpaper with photoshop CS... got some REAL cool brushes and i can't wait to work on them. sadly i just got a new blog skin!!!! so i dunno. haha might make one for someone soon. haha... see how la. :) can't wait to do a proper one with this brush i got... it's AWFULLY COOL LA. okok. anyways... tried another brush and made this wallpaper.. it's really nuthing, jus click here and there. okok, look at it this way, i took like 5-10 minutes making this... maybe less if you dun count the times i was distracted msn-ing.. so really, it's not gotten any much attention or tweaking. jus click click click save. hahah. yeh, enjoy... i will SURELY be making more wallpapers, blog skins and what nots since i'm gonna be taking it upon myself to learn photoshop. :)

Go ahead, click it. i know you wanna.

Wallpaper 2... this one i did in about 10 minutes too... likewise, jus testing my new hobby... photoshop. haha i'm STILL SUPER noob... so please, let me take these few steps to trip, fall and then one day i'll bloom. :) Paris Wallpaper. :) Enjoy.

Day Before FO Event

So yesterday was supposed to be a relaxing day. nuthing on till 7pm Esplanade for Jazzology... but then, August said he's doing the script with Eunice in church at 3... and persuading somehow became me going to meet august for lunch at like 1pm at Tampines. hahaha.. we ate at and had fish and chips which was HUGE LA... goodness... let me try to describe it to you... think of a normal slice of fish... take that, times 3 coz there were 3 slices... and then add on a coleslaw at the side, half the plate was Potato Salad [which was wonderous.. so nice]... and then on the side, how can you eat at BB without COOKIES AND CREAM MILKSHAKE!!! gosh... it was heaven on earth!
The waiter was so nice coz we were outside deciding whether we should eat there.. then there was a 1 for 1 offer.. but you gotta have the voucher la. then we were like.. umm dun want la.. i think never mind la... we were talkin to ourselves and all la.. then the waiter was like, "ok la, tell you what, i get you the voucher la. but dun tell anyone"... and were like. REALLY? wow!!! so we went in. haha and he was a nice chap la... quite kind and all. :) although we were jokin that after our meal, we'll go to pay and then he'll go like... "huh? what voucher? no... i didn't say anything." and act blur.. then we'll cry. hahaha... coz it would have been EXPENSIVE. :) but no la.
After we stuffed [literally] the food down our mouths, we didn't wanna move and i felt quite sick for a bit of the day.. but nvm. it was WONDERFUL... thanks a million August. really appreciate it. :)

After that, we went to jalan jalan the pasar malam... spontaneous spending took over me coz my mind kept saying wads $10 when my pay's coming on friday? which is tml!!! whee!!! haha anyways.... bought a jigsaw and a frame for it... i won't tell ya what it is till i finish it.. but i can't wait. it's in the office now coz it was too big to bring home. [WHEE! GET THE HINT? TOO BIG!] hahaha... yeh but i'm highly glad... hope to finish it by next week if i have time to. think i'll chiong it on monday. so no one ask me out! haha yeh, then will frame it and put it on my wall or sumthing. haha. we'll see. yay yay...

Went to church after that and had meeting wif Eunice and August regarding the musical script. ahha it was quite a fun meeting, as always, and we discussed quite a lot... cut here, added there... drew stupid pictures here... joked and laughed there.... :) took a pic of the meeting... it's jus a stylish pic of the script and stuff on the table... sorry, it's as stylish as a z800i camera phone can get. haha dun complain. :)

Before the meeting though, august and i snapped some pics... here's the rings i have been wearing for like so long now. :) i'd give ya a close up... but i'm lazy to crop, upload and talk bout them. :) but yeh... skinny fingers. :) oh oh.. points to the top right... if you haven't realized liao, i've changed my profile pic. hehe... love that shot la. it was sumthing we wanted to do for a while... take a real sharp focus on the zen and me in the background. :) you can't see the full power of that shot coz it had to be resized, cropped and compressed to upload it onto the template.. otherwise you'll have this HUGE pic there. haha and i dun like to link my pictures.. lest people steal it or sumthing. haha i'm jus weird. :) but yeh.


Yeh so after that, went to esplanade to meet Shawn, Mayfern and Meliza. Meliza was late again and this time her phone was dead so mayfern and i jus sat there like dumb dumb hoping to see her... went for the first performance and it was disappointingly sad... some indian guy playing on some indie musical instrument. totally not jazz. ahha so we left half way to eat dinner. we took too long for dinner so we decided not to go back. :S... so yeh, missed Jazzology and i'd say it was a wasted trip to the Esplanade.. but nvm. better than staying home. :)
We ate at Marina Foodloft... i skipped dinner coz of the lunch and so the 3 of them jus ate while i jus watched. haha.. spastik. :) played around with Shawn's Digi SLR... taking night shots and all. :)


Yeh, thus wraps up the day... can't wait for today. it's FO Event number 1!!! our FO event. yay... smell it, find it, eat it... :) hope it all works out and that everything goes according to plan... praying hard that freshies, CFers and everyone else comes... that no one will get injured, the weather will be pleasing and that everything will run according to schedule. :)

oh, it was also Angel's first day of work. haha seems to be an ok job.
Hope it continues nicely for ya yeh gel, :) work hard and dun slack too much coz yesterday seemed quite slack-y hor. haha... meet up for lunch when i'm free la... miss novena. so far -_-; haha jus kidding. yeh. next week. :) see me so nice, even spend my sleeping time making you a new blog... haha...

sigh. going to go write my resume now for this SIA job uncle Kah Kheng offered me. :) it's seriously not bad. pay wise dunno la. but should be ok. location and reputation is the best la. haha cioaz peeps! [i just love this skin]

"Don't Love You No More (I'm Sorry)" Craig David

Jus thot i'd share this with you. one of the songs i love. :) lyrics are below. Enjoy

"Don't Love You No More (I'm Sorry)"

[VERSE 1]
For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold
(didn't you say)
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl
(tell me)
Ok I know I was late again
I made you mad and dinners thrown in (the bin)
But why are you making this thing drag on so long
(I wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly game
(silly games)
Don't think that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.

[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

[VERSE 2]
I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone
(I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you in a state
(in a state)
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.

[CHORUS]

[BRIDGE]
Don't say those words it's so hard
They turn my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me completely off guard
On the night you said to me
I just don't love you more.

[CHORUS 2X]

Jazzmatazz

Last nite i went with Meliza to the Esplanade for the Jazz Festival... Mosiac Festival


When i met her though, she made me wait like super long la. i was sitting at the steps for like an hour and a half can! goodness. haha but she had work to do la so i kinda excuse her. HAHA... :) So then we headed to esplanade to see if the stuff were still on. thank goodness there was still one at 9pm...

It was really cool la... it's the kinda jazz you hear at a longue or inside an elevator... jus take that and times it 10 times for the class factor.. and wow.. you get super classy or well, clazzy jazz. shoik... 3 guys... one jazz guitar, one pianist and one cello... it was super cool la. how they played and jus made the tune sound so nice... wahhhh made me wanna come back everyday if there was jazz everyday... anyways, here's a pic. it was at the concourse.. the open area inside that's normally for art exhibits...


Yeh overall it was really nice and i'm dying to go back. so i've already planned to go back on sunday till wed... ahha see if my week's plans allow for it la. so nice can. aiyoh. hahah jazz rocks.

Necessary Jewellery or Impulsive Spending?

My Accessories as of 9th March 2006

Work's tiring. tiring me out. real bad. :)

Here's two pics i took of myself on the first day of work.


That's me looking so sad at the start of the day. had to carry heavy heavy stuff... pengz... lifting my silly shirt to show the singtel logo. :)


This is what i have to carry around. it was SO heavy... 2200 flyers and 68 posters... oh gosh.

Memories to be forgotten

Some memories are to be forgotten, some aren't. Now which is this? :) I thank God for every moment though, I grew so much.

I was bored so i decided to try out this idea of mine. i think it turned out quite nicely. so from now on, expect pictures i upload to look sumthing like this. :) It's jus a rough jpg i threw together la. haha... Apologies for using the same pictures again, jus picked a few that had some relevance and made a nice kinda look. :) i love it to bits. haha

The Wedding of the DECADE!

Kenneth's getting married. It's finally here. 4th March 2006. The date we have all been waiting for. His wonderfully beautiful and wonderful bride is Hsiao Yun... or well, April Chan Hsiao Yun... soon to be Mrs Tan... wowz... i'm so excited. What i'll be doing for this wedding is basically i'll be singing in a group of 8 for backup... like praise team... jus that we're on stage like, the whole time. haha... scary stuff. and we'll be facing the audience summore lor! haha.. but i thank God and Kenneth for giving me such a big role in a wedding, sumthing i truly dun deserve....
but seriously. wowz. i can't wait la... It's kenneth! the person i like, look up to and one day wanna be like... you know, that sorta role model thing that just gives you the inspiration and courage to follow after. that kinda thing. :) Kenneth's that to me. :)
Marriage is a fitting beginning to a wonderful covenant life together and i'm so glad to see Kenneth stepping into that next stage.
May the Lord bless both of you and may u shine as a couple just as you have shined individually. :) My wishes to both of you [though you won't ever see this prob]... but yeh, i'm real glad for you guys.

So yesterday was a long long day. City hall, Suntec, Marina Square and Millenia Walk. It basically was many permutations of going to all of those yesterday. Walk and walk and walk. haha Met up with Angel [she's gonna kill me for putting a pic of her sleeping like this. she'll say it's super unglam. :P]

at 1pm coz i needed to do my game for the FO event. I shant tell ya what the game is coz there might be people who might be going to the event and i won't wanna spoil the game for them. but yeh... did what i needed to do then we walked to suntec to look at Taka Jewellery... yup, again... haha and i purchased ANOTHER ring. that makes it my 9th dollar spent there... haha yeh, sorry, no pic again but this ring is nice.. ahah

So we headed to millenia walk but Angel stopped by Osmose to get a top for formal wear... wow. it was cheap la. i was quite shocked at the price. haha... good buy i say. :) it was quite nice too...

ANYHOO... walked to millenia walk after that... went to this shop called Candy Empire coz Angel was dyin for chocs.... went there and there was this HUGE pick 'n' mix... biggest i've EVER seen... goodness... and it was double sided.. so imagine that!!! wait, you dun have to... i have a pic. hahhaa

Yup. that's the pick and mix station. huge rite? scary. haha and imagine it's double sided... so wow... think bout the amount of candy you can get jus walkin one round! haha... it was very expensive though... 100g for $3.80... scary... and Angel HAD to buy some... i won't tell you how much she spent in the end.. but i was appalled... hahaha... yes yes me dear girl i won't embarass you by telling EVERYONE how much you spent... well, here's a pic of it... if anyone can like mentally weigh it... you'll have an answer. :P

it looks very little... hmmm haha okok. i haven't brought my point across. it looks very little but it didn't weigh little. HAHA.. :P okok i'll stop alrite? :P

Yeh so after we got our chocolate stash... we originally wanted to go for coffee... but i banned her from spending money on anything else other than dinner... so we ended up in Carls Jr coz we both needed a drink and Carls has FREE REFILL!!! *everyone shakes head in shame and says what a cheapo* yes i know. hahah but it's $2.20 for like... drink after drink. :)

So there, we started getting silly and dumb and started eating chocs [well she did] and started taking pics.. here are some of the dumbness pic we took. haha. i like that word... dumbness.


looks like an Angel hor? haha.




Yeh so later on we met up with Yan Sing and Leona for dinner. :) it was an interesting dinner. I personally was quite quiet... [wow.. joel quiet? no way!] for personal reasons... and also coz i was observing the company i kept... i guess i'd say i was putting the book i'm reading into practice. seeing and observin for myself... haha if you want to know wad i'm reading, click PROFILE and look for i read. HAHA... [lame advertisment]

Yeh but it was great la... i was so glad i was fine. Later we walked a bit, looked at some jigsaw puzzle and left... took a bus coz i had extra time to get home and it was great la.. seeing some frens askin me how i was and all... made me feel like they cared and i know they did. yay. love me frens.... But yeh, thanks for asking. i'm fine. like i explained.. i finally have control of my life... not affected by external factors anymore. mwahha. :) so yeh, i'm finally movin where i wanna go.

So thanks to Angel for the wonderful company yesterday and for all the rest of the people who messaged me yesterday or sumhow played a role in yesterday... thanks.... since i'm the kind of person who always does this, i'll mention by names. :)
Thanks Meliza for messaging and not taking my first "i'm fine" as the final ans. :) means a lot that you're actually making me act like a big bro to you... feels nice. and yeh, i remember what you said last time. :)
Rachel. for support and advice that made it much easier to see the 2 sides and choose one. :) valued above so many things in my life, i treasure your guidance.
Yeh, thanks to all. thank you.

I bought a new ring! haha. it was super impulse buy.. but like i keep saying, at $3... what kinda impulse is that?

Was at Suntec with my fren meliza today. Then we walked past Taka Jewellery and I mentioned that that was the first taka i tried and it sold out. then when we walked closer, the sign still said it had the ring. so i decided to jus ask and apparently they had this tray of new ones... half gone though. So we tried a few and i bought one after being coaxed by Meliza to buy a new one. She didn't have to try too hard, after she chose one, i was dead set on getting one too since i was there. Bought a nice white one to compliment my black ring on my left hand. When i have a camera that can take close photos, i'll take a pic and show ya. :) so it's one ring on each hand now. love them both to bits... though i like the newer one coz it's bigger so not such a painful task to take off. haha...

I was so happy after buying it can. the wonderous effect $3 can bring to my mood. goodness. i am simple. HAHA... yup.

Will prob go look at them tml again with Angel... Sis complained "HOW COME NEVER BUY FOR ME!" So yeh, will use that as an excuse to maybe purchase 1 more. GOODNESS! someone stop me! i'll end up buying like 10... i was thinking... 10 fingers... $30 only. HAHAHAHA... but i'm not that spastik. i'll only wear 2 at one time. more than that jus makes you look quite... ah beng or tai tai. neither of which i'm trying to portray. :)

this is joel's pathetic but effective retail therapy... i'm SO glad i dun have money to spend.. otherwise my retail therapy could be much worse... zara jackets... levis jeans? g2000 shirts... topman cargo pants...
right now, i'll settle for the THRILL and HYPE $3 rings can bring me. it's more than i'll ask for. Simple guy, Simple retail therapy! haha

"I Cry" by Westlife
[Pop me if you want the song]

You said goodbye
I fell apart
I fell from all we had
To I never knew
I needed you so bad

You need to let things go
I know, you told me so
I've been through hell
To break the spell

Why did I ever let you slip away
Can't stand another day without you
Without the feeling
I once knew

[Chorus]
I cry silently
I cry inside of me
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again
I cry
Cause you're not here with me
I cry
Cause I'm lonely as can be
I cry hopelessly
Cause I know I'll never breathe your love again

If you could see me now
You would know just how
How hard I try
Not to wonder why

I wish I could believe in something new
Oh please somebody tell me it's not true (oh girl)
I'll never be over you

Why did I ever let you slip away
Can't stand another day without you
Without the feeling
I once knew

*Chorus

If I could have you back tomorrow
If I could lose the pain and sorrow
I would do just anything
To make you see
You still love me

*Chorus

Reading old chat logs isn't good for the mental, emotional and spiritual soul. why do i even keep them? haha... maybe coz some parts of them make me smile. I have no idea. The idea and the thought of moving on is so easy to type or say but hard to do. Found this pic off the internet. thot it was a real nice pic... would love to take a pic like that myself. but i'd have to find 2 willing parties and a nice camera. haha.. so for now, i'll jus take it off the net. But i love it. and it represents what i'm feeling right now. :) dun ask... jus let me blog bout it.
p.s. i'm FINE so dun tag my blog or sms me asking me how i'm feeling now. SERIOUSLY... i'm fine. jus didn't wanna lose this moment so i'll blog about it. :) so 5 years later when i read this again i'll remember i sat at home one tuesday afternoon with nuthing to do but wait for time to pass. And i ended up reading chat logs and got into a stupid state of sadness that allowed my lil devil a chance to breathe fresh air. :) Thank God that He came and subdued the devil and took control once again. :) God's good.

Sorry i haven't been blogging for a while.

Nuthing much to blog about, but i'll be blogging soon la. i hope. :P haha... but yeh, jus blogging now to let ya guys know i'm not dead or what... umm yeh. :P

Latest updates in my life... been hunting for a job. so if anyone knows some auntie or uncle that needs someone to maybe do a power point presentation or a website for them, let me know and we can work out the payment. :) wouldn't mind free-lance jobs like that. thankies. hahaha... will blog more after my shower.