2 Days MC

So guess who finally got down to buying himself a new mouse? haha I did splurge on this mouse coz i normally dun spend too much money on myself. Gave myself a treat after convincing myself it's good money spent... I'll need it and since i use my com so much, it's better to buy a mouse that will last me and that i'll love. :) Voila! The Logitech Wireless Mouse v320! haha... it's got great functions and it looks jus oh-so-sexy. :) i love it to bits. haha
Still trying to get used to the fact that there's no more cord... but i'll get used to it soon. the size is smaller than the mouse i normally use too... but that's a good thing la. :)

Anyhoo, i'm at home now at 11.33am on a wednesday morning. why? well, i'm on 2 days MC coz i'm sick. Throat infection and headaches and stuff....felt really miserable today when i woke up and it wasn't hard to decide whether i should go work or not. i sat up and the world jus spun... i was like OK! i'm not going to work... lolz... Yup, so managed to go to the doc's today and she was real nice.. talked a bit and she ended up givin me 2 days of MC coz as a technician, it's really not good and safe to be semi-sick and workin in the workshop. yup.. so i get to take some time off to rest and catch up on things i've been putting off... like cleaning my table and applying for overseas uni. :)

Waiting for this saturday. Ultimate Frisbee can! wootz! haha...

If Jesus came to your house

Jesus came to your house to spend a day or two
If He came unexpectedly, I wonder what you’d do
Oh, I know you’d give your nicest Room to such an honored Guest
And all the food you’d serve to Him would be the very best,

And you’d keep assuring Him you’re glad to have Him there-
That serving Him in your home is joy beyond compare
But when you saw Him coming would you meet Him at the door
With arms outstretched in welcome to your Heavenly Visitor?

Or would you have to change your clothes before you let Him in
Or hide some magazines and put the Bibles where they’d been?
Would you turn off the radio and hope He hadn’t heard
And wish you hadn’t uttered that last, loud, hasty word?

Would you hide your worldly music And put some hymn books out?
Could you let Jesus walk right in, or would you rush about?
And I wonder - if the Savior spent a day or two with you,
Would you go right on doing the things you always do?

Would you keep right on saying the things you always say?
Would life for you continue as it does from day to day?
Would your family conversation keep up it’s usual pace,
And would you find it hard each meal to say a table grace?

Would you sing the words you sing and read the books you read
And let Him know the things on which your mind and spirit feed?
Would you take Jesus with you everywhere you’d planned to go?
Or would you maybe change your plans for just a day or so?

Would you be glad to have Him meet your very closest friends,
Or would you hope they’d stay away until His visit ends?
Would you be glad to have Him stay forever on and on,
Or would you sigh with great relief when He at last was gone?

It might be interesting to know the things that you would do
If Jesus Christ in person came to spend some time with you.

Author Unknown

Disappointed with Man

There are so many times when things don't go your way or when things aren't as you planned. There are occassions that just don't happen when they should have. And there are things that you expect from people that never come.

You expect something, something big, something small... But nothing comes. Nothing gets returned nothing gets offered. How many times do you have to keep trying to realize that it's only one hand trying its hardest to clap and make sound. But all it gets is air. You realize it's all been a lie from a long time ago yet you still hope, wish, something for a glimmer, a shimmer, a spec of hope. You get none, over and over and over again.

You invest time in someone to hope they will turn out well. You work on them, you spend time talking to them about the future trying your best to excite them just enough for them to stay on and carry that vision you have because you know you don't have much time left. And at the end, at crunch time when you thought the decision was set in stone, they turn and leave. They put other things above what you thought was so important. And they turn down your offer to help. You wonder in amazement to yourself how they don't take ownership. Amazing.

You made plans. It looked great, you pushed aside things just so that this event would happen. And then, the group says they'd rather do something else. You get stuck in a flurry of decisions not made just thrown up for suggestion. Indecisiveness prods you and mocks at how you now have everything crumble in front of you. Your afternoon just opened itself up to... to well, nothing. Thankfully something else is there for a back up net. You put something there coz this situation has happened too many times for you to go home sad again. Funny how even in the back of your mind, there's a backup plan. How you trust them.

Disappointment. Man, me, do it all the time. You wonder to yourself how much will you continue to endure? How many times will you be reminded that you're no one to them? How many chances will you give them and how many times will you step aside saying it's ok?
I Dunno bout you but it's wearing thin.

He is Risen

He is Risen.

'Nuff said.

Fired up for God + NearDeath Experience

There are times when you just wonder to yourself whether you're doing things right, whether what you're doing is going to count for eternity and whether whatever you're doing is enough. But what we do is NEVER enough. don't you get it? We can never repay what Christ did for us.

That's what i remembered this week during Good Friday. His sacrifice was not only once and for all but it's something we can never even think we can ever repay. Even if we die for Him, that still wouldn't be enough. We can't live a life of sin then at the last moment [even if we DID have prior knowledge of when it'll end or how long we have] die for Him and expect to end up in Heaven. It just doesn't work that way. He demands us to have a life of pure sacrifice and a life lived for Him.

That's my next point i guess. Surrender. Surrender isn't partial, it isn't pick-and-choose. it's Ultimate, Complete, Whole surrender. You can not keep anything behind and say you've surrendered sumthing. When armies surrender, they don't keep a small resistance force. They don't demand a portion of the land when they surrender. When people/armies surrender, it's complete. The whole territory, the whole rule of a country and for us, our whole life; Every component of it.


Now, God died for you, what will u do for Him?

Today I almost fell to my death. No, I wish I was kidding, but I'm not. I was repairing the sanctuary stage ceiling lightbulb with B.Tsao for the Easter skit. I scaled the ladder all the way to the top and was unscrewing the old bulb from the bulb holder when i leaned out and semi-pushed myself off the wall to get a better angle. I lost balance coz i was leaning out and the ladder shook outwards and so did my body. I looked down and immediately swung myself back inwards holding on to the ladder for dear life even though the ladder itself was swaying. B.Tsao below grabbed on and tried his best to get the ladder to stabilize itself. Once the whole swaying was done, we both were stunned beyond silence and I just laughed away the adrenaline of almost falling although my heart was trying to get its normal beat back. We both realized after that if i did fall, there was no possible way he would have been able to catch me so i'd have either broken some limb really badly or died if i had fallen from that height.

On the way home just now i was thinking of how close i could have come to dying. I recalled everyone important to me and what i did or said last to them. it was scary. to think that what i said to them could have been my last. I'd have celebrated Qiang's 21st birthday and died the very next day. Stuff flooded my mind and then i realized, this is Good Friday week. someone DID die around this time. Jesus Christ, God's Son, gave His life willingly for us. I realized I had been pretty selfish asking myself whether i was ready to die when Jesus died FOR me, for you, for the world.

Gearbox in a day

Today was pretty ok. there were 2 people working in my section and the two of us managed to put a gearbox back into a vehicle. maybe that doesn't sound impressive but a gearbox is prob the size of a oven. weighs about 30kg? or a bit less maybe and can sumtimes take a day to get in alignment. Frankly, i felt quite accomplished that the two/three [coz one came to help later on] of us managed to get the gearbox, prepare it to be put in, raised it with a crane, lowered it into position and managed to get the biting point to finally slot it in nicely to fit the rest of the gearboxes and engine components of the vehicle.

i was quite happy. it wasn't fully finished coz there were some propeller shafts that were still not fully attached.. but hey, i thot we managed to do quite a big task today. :) shag like hell la coz it was real hard.. but it's only when u get shagged like hell days that you begin to realize how far you've come since the 'eww oil!!!' days of Trainees. :) so what if i've got 4months more to ord... the fact is that i've been doing this line of work for the past 1 and a half years... and that's what i'd never have done if i were a clerk. :)

so that's kinda my day. hoping i won't be sian-ed tomolo. need to stay motivated to work otherwise feet get a bit draggy. :)

watched The Arena jus now... been dying to catch it but last week i had an invited guest over for dinner so had to give it a miss... but today, it was Global Indian International School against Jurong Sec... wowz... fiery battle can. i wish i had taken up debating in sec sch. i did try but there wasn't enuf interest for the 'cca' to stay alive so it kinda simmered down after a while... i love to talk about current affairs/social issues... but i dunno whether i've lost my eloquence over the past years... sad to say, it's not all about how u speak but what u speak. without content, even the most immaculate speech can fall flat on it's face if not backed up with solid, compelling and well delivered content. Just my 2cents worth on debates. but all in all, i'm glad jurong took home the win. the last speaker was SO much like hello kitty and her smile, DAGGERS! but she delivered some really good points that were so great it jus made the Indian girl look bad. Wonderful show. loves its to bits. haha

Summary of 17th March 2008. One day away from 4months-till-ORD. :)

My New Desktop Wallpaper

Check out my new desktop wallpaper!


Heh. today was great... amazingly fun. i knew it'll be fun to get to know more people and esp from the BP circle but wow. today was real cool. wanna do it again soon. :) The talk by C.Chong was excellent. really really engaging and humourous... So many people turned up too! Just from our side, we had 24 people. wowz!
After the talk, we had captain's ball and dinner which was really fun too. haven't played captain's ball seriously in a long time. :)

Today was great. made new friends, learnt much about science and God and all within a day. :)
check out the post at shalomyf.blogspot.com
alternatively, u can check out Josiah's facebook photo album. :)

Poor Polar Bear

Oh Gosh! this is so funny. poor guy.

More time

I wish I had more time. coming home everyday late, feeling so shagged out.

NISS is suffering. I wish I had more time. Or at least, i wish i spent my time wisely on God rather than on man.

Mobilization Weekend

Sometimes i wish things weren't so complicated and things were straight forward.

This weekend was my mobilization week. that meant that at any time of the day i could be activated and within the next 4 hours, i had to be back in camp ready to attack and fight a war. It was quite exciting coz it's like, you really gotta be ready.

I personally feared that i could be activated halfway throughout YF or Church. My officers told me that normally the time to activate the people would be 10am... and we haven't [as a company] been activated in quite a long time so we're kinda due for an activation. Then at 10.05am, my phone vibrated in my pocket. My heart stopped and i jus inhaled like half the air in the Sanctuary. Took out my phone and it was a message from A.Lai. I was SUPER relieved la... i was like OH SHEET OH SHEET OH SHEET! haha... but thank God that i had an uneventful and unmobilized weekend. :S

However, it made me think. I shared during CE class about how we must always be prepared to give an answer to any man that asks of our faith. It's jus like mobilization. Once the button is pressed, we must be ready to fight the war coz if we aren't, then the country would suffer. Likewise, we must get our weapons [bible knowledge] ready and we ourselves must be ready because the enemy [Satan] will attack at any time when we least expect it. When the button is pressed, are we ready to defend God, our faith and the things we believe in? Or will be slowly take our time to reach the enemy and fight with weapons that aren't sharp, aren't current and aren't relevant. Will we lose and bring down the name of God jus because we weren't actively ready?

Yup. jus a quick sharing la. I'm uber tired now and i HAVE to get to sleep coz there's work tml again. yup. unending... so i'll catch ya guys around yeh? :)

Sometimes i wish life was easy. Life is easy, what's wrong with me.

Sharing Sorrows

Sorry to dump that on you guys. I didn't mean to get the mood down and stuff but since B.Tsao asked, i shared. hope that it didn't affect you guys so much. My problems should stay my problems la. thanks for listening though. I'm glad for this Exco.

I think i'd just rather be alone on this issue. :)

Sweeney Todd

Just watched Sweeney Todd. wow... quite a cool show. but i'm sure it's coz i'm a musical person so this being a musical on big screen prob added to the pros of the show.

the singing and lyrics were pretty cool... the way the camera pans, angles and all that... cinematography... quite neat and the concept.. wow... interesting. had me chuckling at certain points of the show to imagine the warped mentality of the characters.

some said it's too gory and gross.. i say it's still tasteful gore. K maybe a bit too watery... but i thot all the blood was overrated [by people] it's not that bad! or or or ... i could jus be totally desensitized to blood. but i thot the way the bodies fall was pretty neat... pheeww CRUNCH/CRACK. wow.. funky. haha...

loved how it all wrapped up at the end. pretty sad and all [won't spoil it] but it's quite an apt ending if u ask me. :)

Mrs Lovett rawked! she played her character so well considering how hard it prob was. Yeh, so if you're not too easy grossed out, catch the show coz it's quite cool la. but girls, there's LOTS of blood. so yeh, be prepared. :) i give Sweeney Todd.... 7.5/10. Johnny Depp la. haha

Rainbow 彩虹

The rain falls and it pours. It thunders and it streaks across the sky.
I planned to move forward, i planned to get to point B.
But how am i if i can never get through this storm?
How can I even think of not getting wet when it pours so bad?

Then amidst it all, i see something at the end. A Rainbow.
I know i'll get wet, i know i'll get drenched.
But the funny thing is, i don't mind it if there's gonna be a rainbow at the end.
It's time, time to face the rain, to dash out and to get to that side.

My rainbow will help me along the way.
It'll keep me sane, it'll keep me at bay.
I rush out knowing it's there to help.
With my rainbow, i'm never alone.

But the rainbow doesn't know what it means.
It just shines in the sky being beautiful and radiant.
It doesn't know it gives someone joy, escape.
So rainbow, keep giving that glimmer of hope.

It's the only way I can see how the rain won't affect me forever.

p.s. new music. this song is exactly how i feel now. esp this part.

看不见你的笑我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕
没有理由我也能自己走

你要离开我知道很简单
你说依赖是我们的阻碍
就算放开那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

The One With a Short Poem about a heavy heart

My heart is heavy
My thoughts astray
My eyes are drenched
My burdens I never did lay

I'm tired of being affected
I'm tired of being forlorn
I'm tired of being ignored
I'm tired of being torn

When will this be over?
When will I stop being in denile?
When will this be resolved?
When will I be able to smile?

Dear Father, You know my thoughts, my pain, my burdens. You know everything I need, everything I want. Give me strength to rely on You and to seek only You for my every day bread. Help me to see You in everything and not be distracted by the people or things in my life. How can I commit myself to You and say I love You when my heart and mind are elsewhere? You knew me before I was and You know me now before I will be. Help me trust in You for Your timing, grace and love.
Man may fail you but God will never fail.
Abba Father, Amen.

Barry Louis Polisar - All I Want Is You

This song is taken from the show Juno... Synopsis here.. which is WONDERFUL go watch it! [but please be above 16 years of age coz it talks bout teenage pregnancy] And if you don't wanna pay for it, come look for me. grinz. it's really good. so sweet. click play at my media section.


If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen
All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and greeen
All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a river in the mountains tall,
The rumble of your water would be my call.
If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow
Just as long as you were with me, let the cold winds blow

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a wink, I'd be a nod
If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod.
If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug
And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were the wood, I'd be the fire.
If you were the love, I'd be the desire.
If you were a castle, I'd be your moat,
And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float.

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

Bored Speed Typing

78 words

Slosh Slosh

Chinese New Year this year isn't that big a bang. Dunch really know why but this year it feels pretty low key... like we didn't visit much and even when we did, we jus went to eat and say our HIs and stuff... nothing.... culturally explosive about this year. maybe the hype of everything is going down a notch. B.Tsao was commenting about Christmas being lowkey too during that period. mmm i wonder why the world is slowly losing interest in itself. kinda like how youth are losing interest in themselves too. all the emo-ness in the world and their lives and all.

But that's about Chinese New Year. It's crazy ya know... on day 2 of CNY this year, i went to town to watch a movie with some church frens. LOLZ lor. wazzup with that? the cinema wasn't empty either!!! we almost got front row seats [and not in a good way] haha. it was a fun show... caught Kung Fu Dunk... it's quite a funny cute show really... it's MUCH lighthearted than i thot it would be... he pokes quite a lot of fun everywhere and jay's style of humour is quite endearing. :) i must say that i can see why people flock to him and find him very entertaining. :) apart from him being emo, he's got quite a cute likeable side to him... seen clearly in this show. go watch it.

yup... i'm glad for quite a number of things in my life now. i can't say that it's very good or very bad.. it's pretty average, uneventful and mundane.. but that's kinda sumthing to be thankful for too. jus that sumtimes it feels like an ocean and beach.. the waves jus keeps coming over and over again smacking the shore or kissing it lightly.. but u know that another wave is coming.. it's jus the natural flow of things. weeks pass like the waves... u know the next is coming and each can be big or small.. either way, life goes on.

Haven't been keepin up with my NISS for a while now. i'm really screwed messed up. maybe that's why God feels a bit far now. not far la. jus not near... u know, like that "mystic being" other religions talk bout. He's there, jus that my lack of discipline and love is keeping Him there and not here. that kinda thing. :)

Gold Class: Atonement

Ah, if you haven't already tried GV Gold Class, you had NO idea what luxury movie screening is. Amazing experience I had. Watched Atonement there last week and the service was just WONDERFUL. We went like 15 minutes early and was ushered by lovely nice staff to the lounge. The lounge itself is super nice and chic. very up market food and wines. There was a menu which was overpriced but hey, why not go the whole nine yards since we're already there rite? :) Got a brownie and when my friend wasn't around, i managed to get the staff to serve the brownie with a candle on top. This was a special request and i didn't think they'd entertain it, but they surprised me by telling me they were prepared for situations like this.

So on we went into the cinema and the seats were SO cool. u can see them in the photos above. large reclining red couches that are SO comfy.. trust me! and to top things all off, they give us a nice stylish black blanket. So off the shoes went and on the blanket came, it was just such a nice relaxing and cozy feel. Then in came the brownie and the other snacks we bought, all delivered to our small little personal table. It felt like i was royalty. :)

overall, the experience was WONDERFUL and if you have a free ticket or too much money to spend, try it at least once. :) it's cool. haha

Random non structured flow of words

Life is pretty so-so. just getting thru Week after week. Nothing much that's been happening to me i guess. The things that were complicated last week are still complicated this week. The people i deal with haven't changed neither have I changed in the way i deal with them. Life now is just a slow crawl towards ORD which my google countdown tells me is 165 days away. that's roughly about... oh... 5 and a half months?

I dunno. there are times when i have to purposely and consciously silence myself and my urges. Silence them because I know God is putting me thru a refining time so that i will come out as gold. patience is what i need and self control. Stuff that hasn't always been sumthing really big for me. Telling myself that i'm still young, 21 isn't that big a deal and stuff happen more when you're older. I can't say that i have my life under control coz there are lots of times when i find my life being controlled by others, things they say/do/want/feel... that sorta thing. Much of me can be summarized by trying to please others and trying to be who they/i want me to be. Not a bad thing per se, but neither issit constructive or good.

The worst of Alvin's passing is over. It's funny but i have people coming up to me and asking me how i am now. it's been 3 weeks hasn't it? so yeh, my responses is always the same... God gave me strength and the worst is over. surges of sadness and loss comes here and there but they're managable and dealable. I'm just glad God gave me such strong lessons thru it all. right? :)

A blog isn't really a great place to just talk random thots as they pop into your head coz you know there's gonna be people reading this and trying to make things flow jus wants to scream out at you... OIE! THEY NEED STRUCTURE TO READ. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? But let me be excused for this entry at least. i dun wanna structure anything... jus wanna de-stress by writing. typographical diarrhoea. see, i'm not even gonna go back and correct myself if i find errors. I had a fren who's nick name was really cute... it was "Tyepo"... lolz. i thot it was like the most spastik thing yet sensible thing.

surface level. blogging that is. but then again [and i'm jus breaking a bit thru the surface here] so is my life actually. feel that most frenships i have now are just full of surface level frenships. :) some jus a bit deeper than others but most of them jus start with "hahas" and end with "hahaz"... you know, those kinda meaningless conversations.I guess i still carry on with them becoz i know that they're the best i can have now and i'll take whatever i can reach out and grasps onto. even if they leave me so.. wanting... at least i know i had it.

and yet we start another paragraph. let me take a snapshot of how i look like now.
yup. that bad. haha i'm jus waiting for my hair to dry up so i can sleep. but i think it's dry enough so let me jus wrap this entry up. I'm glad for friends [i pray and thank God for them all the time] and i'm glad for family [coz without them i'd be quite astray by now] but most of all, I'm glad for God becoz without His Son, i'd be no where, no one, no thing...

so thank you Jesus.

Just Rubbish Comics