It's often times that we forget those who mean the most to us when they're very near us. It's only when they leave or the situation changes that our tinted eyes are opened to the fact that we might not have what we enjoy for very long more. Then and only then do our hardened and desensitized hearts yearn to appreciate that someone. It's normally referred to as missing that person.
How sometimes we wait till it's too late. Till the sending off at the airport or the wake of that someone to express our appreciation. Isn't it too late to get it's desired purpose? How sometimes we wish we had more time or we wish we could turn back time so that you could just utter that one sentence or hug?
Well, this entry is dedicated to every one i know. whether i've told you how much i'm glad you're part of my life or not, i appreciate God's hand in leading me to know you. Over the course of this week, God reminded me to encourage certain people and to thank others. To appreciate a sister and to remember a brother. I must say that it's more blessed to give than to receive and i'm glad for the timely reminder.
Even when the world passes away and we all perish, there's still eternity. And as Debbie put it so beautifully in a closing prayer for the Exco, that she's so glad and happy to know this bunch of brothers and sisters in Christ who she can spend her human years on earth with and eternity in heaven.
Thank you, lest i never get to.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At the World's End
Does anyone else suddenly feel a sense of purpose in their lives? I do. May 25th... oh gosh. it's so close.
but what is UP with choy yan fatt representing Singapore??? man... wazzup with his chinese garb! gosh.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Bike my way through Seletar
It's here!
My Mountain Bike. $98
It's finally here! heh, bought my bike today.. finally. it was $70 but after 'zhng-ing' all the stuff like mudguard, basket, bell [he threw that in free] and reflector lights [free too] the total price came up to $98... it was a little bit more than i expected to pay for a bike coz i was like, looking at $70-$95... but it's alrite.. it's not heavy, nice color [i love it] and huge i'll-run-you-down tyres... a whopping 26-inches can! it's like... one pedal and i'm 6 paces ahead.. haha okok. jus kidding... but they're real big...
Will bring it to camp on Wednesday and then my trip to the workshop and out everyday should be much better. i jus pray it won't get stolen. very stressed. haha... yayz. finally. hahaha.
p.s. realized i never did say my thanks for the kind words you guys said bout my prev post... so thanks tricia, nick and cheryl for saying it's worthy of competition, had good writing skill and a vivid description... thanks.. didn't expect it so was quite shocked when i saw the tags. heh...
will look forward to writing narratives again soon when i get the inspiration... who knows, maybe after tonite's sleep, i'll get another funny dream. haha...
My Mountain Bike. $98
It's finally here! heh, bought my bike today.. finally. it was $70 but after 'zhng-ing' all the stuff like mudguard, basket, bell [he threw that in free] and reflector lights [free too] the total price came up to $98... it was a little bit more than i expected to pay for a bike coz i was like, looking at $70-$95... but it's alrite.. it's not heavy, nice color [i love it] and huge i'll-run-you-down tyres... a whopping 26-inches can! it's like... one pedal and i'm 6 paces ahead.. haha okok. jus kidding... but they're real big...
Will bring it to camp on Wednesday and then my trip to the workshop and out everyday should be much better. i jus pray it won't get stolen. very stressed. haha... yayz. finally. hahaha.
p.s. realized i never did say my thanks for the kind words you guys said bout my prev post... so thanks tricia, nick and cheryl for saying it's worthy of competition, had good writing skill and a vivid description... thanks.. didn't expect it so was quite shocked when i saw the tags. heh...
will look forward to writing narratives again soon when i get the inspiration... who knows, maybe after tonite's sleep, i'll get another funny dream. haha...
Sunday, March 18, 2007
...Mobilization...
I was sitting on my bed while the clocked ticked slowly to 7 o'clock in the evening. My phone chirped with the buzz of a call from a friend. 'Hmm Matthew?' i wondered as i flipped open the clamshell and raised the phone to my ear.
"Yo bro, wazzup?" i questioned as his voice came crisp over the phone.
"Hey man. Yo dude, i gotta tell you something." His voice sorta trembled as he confirmed my identity.
"Yo man, what happened?" I replied back warily.
"I did something bad man. I think... i think it's gonna have serious consequences dude. I think i'm going to be in big trouble because i seem to have.."
Before his sentence was through, my line was cut and an sms came through. 'What the?' i exclaimed as my phone did a twilight zone thing on me. I looked at the screen and saw a message that said 'Emergency Message. All reception has been barred.'
I pressed the 'READ' button and the rest was a blur. I recall seeing certain keywords like 'HBFNT' and my callsigns for the army. I checked again and before i knew it, my father burst into my room yelling for me to get changed and fall in at wherever my rendezvous location was. I was shocked for a moment before i realized 'oh shit. this is it. we're being attacked and that message... that was my mobilization message.'
i snapped up and grabbed my phone off the bed, as it had slipped down my hand earlier, and raced to my cupboard. Flinging it open, i manhandled my No.4 uniform and yanked the set out of the cupboard. As i started to change, i saw my dad from across the room already half dressed, as was my neighbour across the block. The lights on every house started flickering on as the nation realized one-by-one the urgency and imminent danger that was upon us. I hopped around as my pants refused to be worn. Looking down i realized why, in my frantic hurry, i realized i had forgotten to take off my shorts from before.
After changing i pulled my pack out from under the table, it's resting ground, and shoved a set of coveralls inside knowing that there's no way in my vocation could you do what i do in No.4 uniform.
"Mum! where's my other set of coveralls, i'm gonna need all of them!"
"In the cupboard, last drawer. It's still in the plastic bag coz you never wore that one." she hollered back.
Never wore it. Because i was saving it for a moment that i'll really need an extra set. A moment like this one.
As we rushed downstairs, i saw my dad's full corporal rank on his shoulder and got into the car. In moments, we dashed out of the carpark leaving everything we had behind to rush to a situation that was everything to this country. I recall thinking to myself... 'my gosh Rui, this is it. this it the moment we've all been training for, we've all had 2 years of our life cut out for. It's all happening now, this isn't a dream, wake up.' In that moment of self realization, i felt an emotion that coursed through every vein in my body. An emotion that burned through the limbs of my body and rose as a red vapour from the pores of my skin. It was the feeling of anger and passion, of enthusiasm and boldness. It was patriotism and a will to fight for the land i belong to. I have always thought that NS was a waste of time, but in this moment, the only thing in my mind was to defend my country, my friends and especially the 3 other people in the car with me; my family.
We dropped my mum and sister off at the drop zone for civilians and said our parting goodbyes. it's funny coz it never struck me, till later, that this could have been the last i saw of them, or them of me. My thoughts were focused and directed upon how to do what i do... when. A committed soldier willing to give up his time for his nation and heading to the warfront with only that thought in his mind. My dad and i got a lot and headed to fall in respectively at each of our rendezvous area. It was then that i saw my dad as a military man, in his faded uniform i normally see reservist men wearing, but yet still a military man.
[and then the rest isn't impt coz it's a blur but i recall that the mobilization ended up to be a big false alarm and that there was no imminent threat]
"gentlemen, you have done well to adhere to the mobilization timing and this just shows how efficient this organization is. well done and tonight, you can sleep easy knowing there is no threat."
I remember walking away from harbour front [dun ask me why] thinking to myself that although we didn't fight a war or had to kill anyone, i knew that we were all there not coz we had to be there, but coz we wanted to be there. to fight and defend everything we had and stood for.
and then a thought popped in my head.
"Oh my goodness. Matthew!"
And then i woke up. wah.. i tell you, the dream was SO real can... i really felt that burning emotion and will to fight in my dream and after waking up, i just sat there for a while thinking to myself how thankful i was that i was able to sleep easy every night. that someone somewhere is watching over this country and ready to call upon it's armed personnel to defend. It was weird, i never felt like i wanted to stay and fight... but this dream made me think twice.
Every guy would prob have this dream once in his 2 years or 13 year cycle... but to me, it was sorta cool. :)
Have a great Sabbath people!
"Yo bro, wazzup?" i questioned as his voice came crisp over the phone.
"Hey man. Yo dude, i gotta tell you something." His voice sorta trembled as he confirmed my identity.
"Yo man, what happened?" I replied back warily.
"I did something bad man. I think... i think it's gonna have serious consequences dude. I think i'm going to be in big trouble because i seem to have.."
Before his sentence was through, my line was cut and an sms came through. 'What the?' i exclaimed as my phone did a twilight zone thing on me. I looked at the screen and saw a message that said 'Emergency Message. All reception has been barred.'
I pressed the 'READ' button and the rest was a blur. I recall seeing certain keywords like 'HBFNT' and my callsigns for the army. I checked again and before i knew it, my father burst into my room yelling for me to get changed and fall in at wherever my rendezvous location was. I was shocked for a moment before i realized 'oh shit. this is it. we're being attacked and that message... that was my mobilization message.'
i snapped up and grabbed my phone off the bed, as it had slipped down my hand earlier, and raced to my cupboard. Flinging it open, i manhandled my No.4 uniform and yanked the set out of the cupboard. As i started to change, i saw my dad from across the room already half dressed, as was my neighbour across the block. The lights on every house started flickering on as the nation realized one-by-one the urgency and imminent danger that was upon us. I hopped around as my pants refused to be worn. Looking down i realized why, in my frantic hurry, i realized i had forgotten to take off my shorts from before.
After changing i pulled my pack out from under the table, it's resting ground, and shoved a set of coveralls inside knowing that there's no way in my vocation could you do what i do in No.4 uniform.
"Mum! where's my other set of coveralls, i'm gonna need all of them!"
"In the cupboard, last drawer. It's still in the plastic bag coz you never wore that one." she hollered back.
Never wore it. Because i was saving it for a moment that i'll really need an extra set. A moment like this one.
As we rushed downstairs, i saw my dad's full corporal rank on his shoulder and got into the car. In moments, we dashed out of the carpark leaving everything we had behind to rush to a situation that was everything to this country. I recall thinking to myself... 'my gosh Rui, this is it. this it the moment we've all been training for, we've all had 2 years of our life cut out for. It's all happening now, this isn't a dream, wake up.' In that moment of self realization, i felt an emotion that coursed through every vein in my body. An emotion that burned through the limbs of my body and rose as a red vapour from the pores of my skin. It was the feeling of anger and passion, of enthusiasm and boldness. It was patriotism and a will to fight for the land i belong to. I have always thought that NS was a waste of time, but in this moment, the only thing in my mind was to defend my country, my friends and especially the 3 other people in the car with me; my family.
We dropped my mum and sister off at the drop zone for civilians and said our parting goodbyes. it's funny coz it never struck me, till later, that this could have been the last i saw of them, or them of me. My thoughts were focused and directed upon how to do what i do... when. A committed soldier willing to give up his time for his nation and heading to the warfront with only that thought in his mind. My dad and i got a lot and headed to fall in respectively at each of our rendezvous area. It was then that i saw my dad as a military man, in his faded uniform i normally see reservist men wearing, but yet still a military man.
[and then the rest isn't impt coz it's a blur but i recall that the mobilization ended up to be a big false alarm and that there was no imminent threat]
"gentlemen, you have done well to adhere to the mobilization timing and this just shows how efficient this organization is. well done and tonight, you can sleep easy knowing there is no threat."
I remember walking away from harbour front [dun ask me why] thinking to myself that although we didn't fight a war or had to kill anyone, i knew that we were all there not coz we had to be there, but coz we wanted to be there. to fight and defend everything we had and stood for.
and then a thought popped in my head.
"Oh my goodness. Matthew!"
And then i woke up. wah.. i tell you, the dream was SO real can... i really felt that burning emotion and will to fight in my dream and after waking up, i just sat there for a while thinking to myself how thankful i was that i was able to sleep easy every night. that someone somewhere is watching over this country and ready to call upon it's armed personnel to defend. It was weird, i never felt like i wanted to stay and fight... but this dream made me think twice.
Every guy would prob have this dream once in his 2 years or 13 year cycle... but to me, it was sorta cool. :)
Have a great Sabbath people!
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Mosaic 2007 Day 1
First of all, to respect the person who msned me, i won't reveal the identity.. but maybe you are like the previous post... about how you think every entry i type is about you... but here goes what you said to me on msn.
without saying any names.
"I'm assuming your newest post was directed at me.
if it is.
I was talking about [i have intentionally left this part out for anonymity], you freaking git.
assumptions my ass."
4 messages laden with hate and anger.. sigh. why can't you jus leave me be and stop thinking i hate you? whatever it is, i hope these are the last words of hurt i hear from you. :) maybe you wanna take a moment [you know who you are] to take some time and think maybe this wasn't about you at all. and maybe a Christian shouldn't be going around calling people a 'freaking git'. I never called you one, not that it would justify you calling me one. :)
makes me wonder whether you can be the good guy and the bad at the same time.
today was real great. thanks for spending time with me. out of many many frens that have come and gone, your frenship is one i treasure highly. and i know you might not have started out the day all peachy happy and all, but i'm glad it changed and ended well. i will continue to try to look older... HAHA.. maybe. :) will look forward to our next cuppa or whatever. :) thanks for giving me the best evening i could have asked for.
without saying any names.
"I'm assuming your newest post was directed at me.
if it is.
I was talking about [i have intentionally left this part out for anonymity], you freaking git.
assumptions my ass."
4 messages laden with hate and anger.. sigh. why can't you jus leave me be and stop thinking i hate you? whatever it is, i hope these are the last words of hurt i hear from you. :) maybe you wanna take a moment [you know who you are] to take some time and think maybe this wasn't about you at all. and maybe a Christian shouldn't be going around calling people a 'freaking git'. I never called you one, not that it would justify you calling me one. :)
makes me wonder whether you can be the good guy and the bad at the same time.
today was real great. thanks for spending time with me. out of many many frens that have come and gone, your frenship is one i treasure highly. and i know you might not have started out the day all peachy happy and all, but i'm glad it changed and ended well. i will continue to try to look older... HAHA.. maybe. :) will look forward to our next cuppa or whatever. :) thanks for giving me the best evening i could have asked for.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
ASSumptions
it's always fun to make people think i'm talkin bout them.
well, to shut up rumours... or rumour... hmm no, an assumption.
it's not a guy i'm talking about. DAAAAA! wrong. :P
dun go guessing, it'll only kill you. the intended person would know who she is. :) and you won't.
you are you know? so full of yourself you think everything must be spoken about you. :) no one's forcing you to read this blog. go, leave. if flames are all you have, you're not appreciated here.
well, to shut up rumours... or rumour... hmm no, an assumption.
it's not a guy i'm talking about. DAAAAA! wrong. :P
dun go guessing, it'll only kill you. the intended person would know who she is. :) and you won't.
you are you know? so full of yourself you think everything must be spoken about you. :) no one's forcing you to read this blog. go, leave. if flames are all you have, you're not appreciated here.
Monday, March 12, 2007
and there i go again: *Boom*
No one can ever please everyone now can they? Even in help, people interpret it many ways. I won't even think of justifying myself or saying things that might make me look like some good person, because i'm not.
all i want is for you to see that i meant no harm or ill intention. my ways may not be what you agree with or are comfortable with. you didn't offend me dun worry, but i'll change. i'll change for you. Why? coz i'd rather you smile at me for one day rather than what it is now for the rest of my life or yours. and i'm sorry for puttin you in spots that aren't what you're comfortable with. I've already told her that i won't bother her about it... but i'm glad the two of you are so close. :) makes me smile.
and this goes out to everyone in general. if i have offended you in ways that i haven't realized or never mentioned... i'm sorry i did, please do forgive me. i fail many times. i try to learn, but God will only teach me thru failures. friends, family, people who hate me... whoever you are, do forgive me.
pls dun think i'm emo. i'm not. i'm jus glad to be able to see that God's behind all of this and that He's just showing me a tiny bit of what He went thru before He was spared of it all on the cross. To think He endured SO MUCH more till He gave up the ghost... any problems i face would be a dustmite compared to the 'grandeur' of the hate He was 'bestowed' upon.
He came not to retaliate... but He came to re conciliate us with the Father. no matter what we did and how we responded to His help and kind gestures. What did we do?
When He smiled at us, we laughed and scorned at Him.
When He touched and healed us, we whipped and flogged Him.
When He died for us, we killed Him even more with our rejection of the gospel.
When He rose and gave us life eternal, we said we don't need a God, esp not Him.
Brothers and sisters in Christ and people who have yet to trust in Him... think about this. take 5 minutes out of your time to commit your thots to Him. maybe you have had, like me, a chance to be reminded of His grace, mercy and love firsthand thru an experience or maybe it's jus thru what i jus blogged bout... how then do we relate what we go thru everyday to Him? :) It's times like this that i thank God the silver lining on every dark grey cloud is so obvious and evident that even a fool like me can see it shimmering in the sparkle of a moist and rained upon day. :)
Thank God, Thank Him. Thank You, Jesus.
all i want is for you to see that i meant no harm or ill intention. my ways may not be what you agree with or are comfortable with. you didn't offend me dun worry, but i'll change. i'll change for you. Why? coz i'd rather you smile at me for one day rather than what it is now for the rest of my life or yours. and i'm sorry for puttin you in spots that aren't what you're comfortable with. I've already told her that i won't bother her about it... but i'm glad the two of you are so close. :) makes me smile.
and this goes out to everyone in general. if i have offended you in ways that i haven't realized or never mentioned... i'm sorry i did, please do forgive me. i fail many times. i try to learn, but God will only teach me thru failures. friends, family, people who hate me... whoever you are, do forgive me.
pls dun think i'm emo. i'm not. i'm jus glad to be able to see that God's behind all of this and that He's just showing me a tiny bit of what He went thru before He was spared of it all on the cross. To think He endured SO MUCH more till He gave up the ghost... any problems i face would be a dustmite compared to the 'grandeur' of the hate He was 'bestowed' upon.
He came not to retaliate... but He came to re conciliate us with the Father. no matter what we did and how we responded to His help and kind gestures. What did we do?
When He smiled at us, we laughed and scorned at Him.
When He touched and healed us, we whipped and flogged Him.
When He died for us, we killed Him even more with our rejection of the gospel.
When He rose and gave us life eternal, we said we don't need a God, esp not Him.
Brothers and sisters in Christ and people who have yet to trust in Him... think about this. take 5 minutes out of your time to commit your thots to Him. maybe you have had, like me, a chance to be reminded of His grace, mercy and love firsthand thru an experience or maybe it's jus thru what i jus blogged bout... how then do we relate what we go thru everyday to Him? :) It's times like this that i thank God the silver lining on every dark grey cloud is so obvious and evident that even a fool like me can see it shimmering in the sparkle of a moist and rained upon day. :)
Thank God, Thank Him. Thank You, Jesus.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
A good end for a normal day
this song has been speakin to me a bit. love the chorus. Will upload the song asap.
lyrics are below.
Chris Tomlin - The Way I was Made
Caught in the half-life, I'm caught alone
Waking up to the sunrise and the radio
Feels like I'm tired of, what's holding me?
Just praying today will be the day I go free
I want to live like there's no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one's around
I want to sing like nobody's listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I'm not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made
Made in Your likeness, made with Your hands
Made to discover who You are and who I am
And All I've forgotten help me to find
All that You've promised let it be in my life
Today was good.. managed to do what i wanted to do with good company as well..
it was sweet. literally and i was able to get a taste of what the others were like. But most importantly, i'm glad for the company. something i've been dying for for a long time i guess. something that plays at my heart and makes me yearn to do sumthing yet not.
Hope you liked the small gift from the rest of us. it's bear-ly enough i think but i do hope you do, stop and smell the roses from time to time. :) and thanks for giving us jus one night out of that schedule of yours. i suppose it's been tough. and you know we're, at least i am, praying for you. what we did at the traffic light is jus a small indication of what we're doing for you every day oki?
tomolo seems like an ok day too. haha hopefully can come home and clear up the stuff i need to do. many many things need to be settled. it's great to be busy again. haha... yuppers. will look forward to the next day we can all fellowship again!
p.s. setting a positive mindset to a lot of things makes a world of a difference. :) Have a good week guys.
lyrics are below.
Chris Tomlin - The Way I was Made
Caught in the half-life, I'm caught alone
Waking up to the sunrise and the radio
Feels like I'm tired of, what's holding me?
Just praying today will be the day I go free
I want to live like there's no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one's around
I want to sing like nobody's listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I'm not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made
Made in Your likeness, made with Your hands
Made to discover who You are and who I am
And All I've forgotten help me to find
All that You've promised let it be in my life
Today was good.. managed to do what i wanted to do with good company as well..
it was sweet. literally and i was able to get a taste of what the others were like. But most importantly, i'm glad for the company. something i've been dying for for a long time i guess. something that plays at my heart and makes me yearn to do sumthing yet not.
Hope you liked the small gift from the rest of us. it's bear-ly enough i think but i do hope you do, stop and smell the roses from time to time. :) and thanks for giving us jus one night out of that schedule of yours. i suppose it's been tough. and you know we're, at least i am, praying for you. what we did at the traffic light is jus a small indication of what we're doing for you every day oki?
tomolo seems like an ok day too. haha hopefully can come home and clear up the stuff i need to do. many many things need to be settled. it's great to be busy again. haha... yuppers. will look forward to the next day we can all fellowship again!
p.s. setting a positive mindset to a lot of things makes a world of a difference. :) Have a good week guys.
BGR RETREAT by Chien Chong!
Check in: 7pm, 9th March [Fri]
Check out: 12.30pm, 10th March [Sat]
Bring Bible, Stationary, Sleeping bag, a friend [if you can]
COME COME COME! It's gonna be SO fun!
Check in: 7pm, 9th March [Fri]
Check out: 12.30pm, 10th March [Sat]
Bring Bible, Stationary, Sleeping bag, a friend [if you can]
COME COME COME! It's gonna be SO fun!
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Pursuit of Happyness
Today was absolutely fun. :) okok, so maybe that's an exaggeration... but it sure was a blast... not one bad thing about the day actually... kinda... minus the dumb runny nose. haha. so the day started out late, jus the way i love it.
Got out of bed at 7 plus to get ready and met up with Alvin a little late. so sue me, i was late... sorry. Realized, after waiting, that we didn't have much time to take a slow bus so we ended up cabbing to Vivo... arrived like 20 minutes late but didn't kenna anything except having to explain ourselves of stuff to various people who bothered to ask... or point fingers at. :)
Took the new monorail thingy to Sentosa and after walking a bit, found ourselves at the Entrance of the 4D Magix show...
It was about Pirates and it was quite cool [though TOTALLY not worth the money]... got water effects, wind, air, movement.. everything la.. so it did engage the senses la.. but like i said, it's NOT worth like wad? $16 lor. haha luckily the army paid for everything. ahha... yeh, so it was a cool experience that i'm glad i didn't pay for. haha
Went to the Luge ride after that. that was prob the best part of the trip can.. it was like super fun.. even though this was the 2nd time i'm doing this... i guess it helped coz the first time was like learning how to use it, this time... i jus chionged. haha started out the 4th guy in our grp coz of the Queue... but as i raced down the hill, i passed people like Kelvin, Commando and even Warren Low. haha.. it was cool can. jus speeding down the road swerving left and right.. it was a total kinda escape-from-worldly-worries-and-jus-race-down-in-reckless-style time. hahah.. :) cool can. it's a must for you if you go... but it's a bit pricey though. so get your boyfren to pay. :)
Had OTOT till bout 12.10pm where we met at GV Vivo to watch 'Pursuit of Happyness'... that was quite a good show can.. it seemed quite long [we sat inside there for 20 minutes of trailers and advertisements.. i almost died]... but it was a good show.. feel good and stuff when ya walk out, but the whole show quite depressing overall until it picks up later. :) There were moments in the film that was moving and sad at the same time.. but it was manageable. haha.. i do recommend the show to whoever wants a show to watch.. it's worth jus having a thot-provoking moment.. :>
After that, i had my retail therapy with Reid, Alvin and Ada... i went crazy coz i bought a jacket i was eyeing from a shop.. then went to a shop nearby and fell in love with another more suitable jacket which cost less and yet could reverse so it's like 2 jackets... argh. was so angry that i bought the first jacket.. so in a moment [which lasted really long coz i have a very rational mind when it comes to spending money]... i decided to buy it also... ended up coming home with 2 jackets and a jeans... all bought at one shot [kinda]... wowz.. it was great manz... having new clothes and wearing them gives you a enthu high that's hard to match...
i guess there's this part of me that's very different from normal guys... i like to shop. even when i'm not shopping... as in, if a fren needs to shop, i'd very much love to go with that person and jus be a shadow or aid in their shopping experience..
and when i DO shop for myself [which is rare]... i do find joy in buying sumthing new. quite... fulfilling i guess. haha so maybe i'm jus weird, i dun really care, i do like this... haha
And i'm not brand-conscious... otherwise i wouldn't have bought what i did today. haha trust me. :0
then after that had a nice dinner and more window shopping with alvin and ada.. it was kinda fun to get to know her too la... then after that headed home to jus rest after a long day of activities and shopping. ha... such a great day. :)
Retail Therapy rawks my socks off. :>
now, ON TO THE WEEKEND! :)
Got out of bed at 7 plus to get ready and met up with Alvin a little late. so sue me, i was late... sorry. Realized, after waiting, that we didn't have much time to take a slow bus so we ended up cabbing to Vivo... arrived like 20 minutes late but didn't kenna anything except having to explain ourselves of stuff to various people who bothered to ask... or point fingers at. :)
Took the new monorail thingy to Sentosa and after walking a bit, found ourselves at the Entrance of the 4D Magix show...
It was about Pirates and it was quite cool [though TOTALLY not worth the money]... got water effects, wind, air, movement.. everything la.. so it did engage the senses la.. but like i said, it's NOT worth like wad? $16 lor. haha luckily the army paid for everything. ahha... yeh, so it was a cool experience that i'm glad i didn't pay for. haha
Went to the Luge ride after that. that was prob the best part of the trip can.. it was like super fun.. even though this was the 2nd time i'm doing this... i guess it helped coz the first time was like learning how to use it, this time... i jus chionged. haha started out the 4th guy in our grp coz of the Queue... but as i raced down the hill, i passed people like Kelvin, Commando and even Warren Low. haha.. it was cool can. jus speeding down the road swerving left and right.. it was a total kinda escape-from-worldly-worries-and-jus-race-down-in-reckless-style time. hahah.. :) cool can. it's a must for you if you go... but it's a bit pricey though. so get your boyfren to pay. :)
Had OTOT till bout 12.10pm where we met at GV Vivo to watch 'Pursuit of Happyness'... that was quite a good show can.. it seemed quite long [we sat inside there for 20 minutes of trailers and advertisements.. i almost died]... but it was a good show.. feel good and stuff when ya walk out, but the whole show quite depressing overall until it picks up later. :) There were moments in the film that was moving and sad at the same time.. but it was manageable. haha.. i do recommend the show to whoever wants a show to watch.. it's worth jus having a thot-provoking moment.. :>
After that, i had my retail therapy with Reid, Alvin and Ada... i went crazy coz i bought a jacket i was eyeing from a shop.. then went to a shop nearby and fell in love with another more suitable jacket which cost less and yet could reverse so it's like 2 jackets... argh. was so angry that i bought the first jacket.. so in a moment [which lasted really long coz i have a very rational mind when it comes to spending money]... i decided to buy it also... ended up coming home with 2 jackets and a jeans... all bought at one shot [kinda]... wowz.. it was great manz... having new clothes and wearing them gives you a enthu high that's hard to match...
i guess there's this part of me that's very different from normal guys... i like to shop. even when i'm not shopping... as in, if a fren needs to shop, i'd very much love to go with that person and jus be a shadow or aid in their shopping experience..
and when i DO shop for myself [which is rare]... i do find joy in buying sumthing new. quite... fulfilling i guess. haha so maybe i'm jus weird, i dun really care, i do like this... haha
And i'm not brand-conscious... otherwise i wouldn't have bought what i did today. haha trust me. :0
then after that had a nice dinner and more window shopping with alvin and ada.. it was kinda fun to get to know her too la... then after that headed home to jus rest after a long day of activities and shopping. ha... such a great day. :)
Retail Therapy rawks my socks off. :>
now, ON TO THE WEEKEND! :)
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Cohesion Events Galore!
There are a few people who should skip this entry totally.
So this week has been and still is a very interestingly free and fun week.
Monday
Coz of sum errand i had to run, i took a half day off. So there was no work for me with regards to the afternoon though the morning was spent in the workshop... which is always tiring but fun. :) Getting the chance to learn more and more from the seniors and seeing how they can impart little workshop skills not taught in the books. So after finishing my errand, met up with Dad to look at some cars. However, in the span of an hour or more waiting for him at Eunos, i was approached by this guy called Eugene. I offered him a seat next to me at the steps coz he was like squatting. After doing his survey, i chatted up with him asking him what studies he's doing now and all. He's going into NS soon but came from ACJC so we chatted a bit and i encouraged him to keep approaching people and all.
After that when dad came, we left to ubi where we checked out some cars and then headed home for a relaxing night.
Tuesday
COHESION EVENT! We went to Singapore Science Centre and watched Omnimax about the Human Body. was so cool can. seeing the intricate stuff about how a body works and all, jus reminded me of what an Amazing God we have... to put it all together and without error. :) Then we OTOT-ed till about 12.30 where we were dismissed. Spent a little while going back in to fully enjoy my Science Centre experience... then went to town area to shop for Prom Shoes with Sing. it was fun jus chilling with her and shopping with a girl again... dun really get to do that much nowadays.. so that was kinda like old times. Then we made our way to Cathay to get the tickets. Watched Half Nelson with Rachel and Tricia and then headed to SMU after that to meet up with Debz and Jiamin.
Had a nice chicken rice dinner whereby Justin joined us after. The two of us went to eat Dao-Huey at Selegie while debz and jiamin headed back to sch and rach and tricia went to raffles city.
After having a nice chat and sharing session with my best bud, we headed to meet up with the girls and head home. It was a great and fulfilled day. ah. :>
Wednesday
Today was COOL! spent the whole day working in the workshop and really just being more and more confident about the vehicle i'm working on. :) it's always fun to get dirty coz once you've gotten dirty, you'll be willing to do anything after that. and that wad makes the day fun and happening. :) Subsection 1 rawks. haha. Went home after work coz i didn't end up doing wad i originally planned on. it's ok, it was still good.
Thursday
Most of the senior people will be away so it'll be a relaxing day. can work slow coz work's already assigned and it isn't much la. so we'll see... quite slow i guess so yayz. :> Care Ministry Seminar in the evening. hope i got energy for it.
Friday
COHESION EVENT 2
Heh, we're going to Sentosa for the Luge Ride, 4D Magix show and GV Vivocity for 'Pursuit of Happyness'... all paid for by our darling army. yayz. haha it's going to be fun fun fun. maybe going to sun tan too. yayz. then i'll be more tan than i already am... then my name would be like.. joel tanner... but i'm not a tenor.. i'm a bass.. hmmm HAHA k k, enuf nonsense. :)
Got half day off though. hmmm haha... see what to do. :>
Yup... that's the weekdays so far. whee! fun fun. Dun hate me, hate the people i work for, they organize the things, not me. haha
- Those who are about to enter the NS and wanna see what it's like.
- Those already in NS and are PES A and B.
So this week has been and still is a very interestingly free and fun week.
Monday
Coz of sum errand i had to run, i took a half day off. So there was no work for me with regards to the afternoon though the morning was spent in the workshop... which is always tiring but fun. :) Getting the chance to learn more and more from the seniors and seeing how they can impart little workshop skills not taught in the books. So after finishing my errand, met up with Dad to look at some cars. However, in the span of an hour or more waiting for him at Eunos, i was approached by this guy called Eugene. I offered him a seat next to me at the steps coz he was like squatting. After doing his survey, i chatted up with him asking him what studies he's doing now and all. He's going into NS soon but came from ACJC so we chatted a bit and i encouraged him to keep approaching people and all.
After that when dad came, we left to ubi where we checked out some cars and then headed home for a relaxing night.
Tuesday
COHESION EVENT! We went to Singapore Science Centre and watched Omnimax about the Human Body. was so cool can. seeing the intricate stuff about how a body works and all, jus reminded me of what an Amazing God we have... to put it all together and without error. :) Then we OTOT-ed till about 12.30 where we were dismissed. Spent a little while going back in to fully enjoy my Science Centre experience... then went to town area to shop for Prom Shoes with Sing. it was fun jus chilling with her and shopping with a girl again... dun really get to do that much nowadays.. so that was kinda like old times. Then we made our way to Cathay to get the tickets. Watched Half Nelson with Rachel and Tricia and then headed to SMU after that to meet up with Debz and Jiamin.
Had a nice chicken rice dinner whereby Justin joined us after. The two of us went to eat Dao-Huey at Selegie while debz and jiamin headed back to sch and rach and tricia went to raffles city.
After having a nice chat and sharing session with my best bud, we headed to meet up with the girls and head home. It was a great and fulfilled day. ah. :>
Wednesday
Today was COOL! spent the whole day working in the workshop and really just being more and more confident about the vehicle i'm working on. :) it's always fun to get dirty coz once you've gotten dirty, you'll be willing to do anything after that. and that wad makes the day fun and happening. :) Subsection 1 rawks. haha. Went home after work coz i didn't end up doing wad i originally planned on. it's ok, it was still good.
Thursday
Most of the senior people will be away so it'll be a relaxing day. can work slow coz work's already assigned and it isn't much la. so we'll see... quite slow i guess so yayz. :> Care Ministry Seminar in the evening. hope i got energy for it.
Friday
COHESION EVENT 2
Heh, we're going to Sentosa for the Luge Ride, 4D Magix show and GV Vivocity for 'Pursuit of Happyness'... all paid for by our darling army. yayz. haha it's going to be fun fun fun. maybe going to sun tan too. yayz. then i'll be more tan than i already am... then my name would be like.. joel tanner... but i'm not a tenor.. i'm a bass.. hmmm HAHA k k, enuf nonsense. :)
Got half day off though. hmmm haha... see what to do. :>
Yup... that's the weekdays so far. whee! fun fun. Dun hate me, hate the people i work for, they organize the things, not me. haha
Thursday, February 22, 2007
The Torture of self torture
Was watching some video [won't spoil it for you] whereby a person had to purposely make someone he loves stay at home because he wanted to protect her from being killed that very night. He knew the future and thus had to ensure her survival by forcing that decision upon her.
A supporting role then told him, "You know, she'll probably hate you for the rest of her life because of this"... and to which he replied, "I hope so".... it was quite a painful scene watchin him having to deliberately do what he didn't want to do so that in the end, she benefits... and then later on, he had to fake that he didn't know something and so did she and the conversation that went on between the two was heart wrenching coz both are like hurting but yet they can't show it...
It was quite a sad moment while watching the video. That you can or might have to choose to do something you don't want to do and you know that other person wouldn't want to do it too.. but you have to coz in the end, it's the best way or the safest way... to torture yourself so that the other person benefits from it whether knowingly or not. Phew. painful.
A supporting role then told him, "You know, she'll probably hate you for the rest of her life because of this"... and to which he replied, "I hope so".... it was quite a painful scene watchin him having to deliberately do what he didn't want to do so that in the end, she benefits... and then later on, he had to fake that he didn't know something and so did she and the conversation that went on between the two was heart wrenching coz both are like hurting but yet they can't show it...
It was quite a sad moment while watching the video. That you can or might have to choose to do something you don't want to do and you know that other person wouldn't want to do it too.. but you have to coz in the end, it's the best way or the safest way... to torture yourself so that the other person benefits from it whether knowingly or not. Phew. painful.
could you miss a person so much for so long till you grow numb to missing them? would you forget after a while and would the pain of not seeing them slowly go away?
Monday, February 19, 2007
Weird Dream
I had this real weird dream today... k k, i always have weird dreams.. but it jus popped into my head as i'm sitting here eating breakfast.. totally forgot bout it when i woke... but it goes something like this...
I was with a group of frens [dunno who] and we were somehow visiting Qiang. The place he lived in was like... beyond jia lat.. it was like rocks everywhere and a hill.. some funny tunnel that we had to go thru before we reached his little trailer/house thingy. hahhaa... super funny.. then when we went in, there were people like Sharon [visiting him as well] and about 4 more people who apparently were other attachment people. haha well then we asked him to show us his room and all [and i tell you, the place inside was like some small motel with nothing lor! haha]
So we walked into his room and there was like this small room la... like a small toilet can! haha... and then there was this bed that's like 4 deckered bed... lol... you should have seen the matress can. SUPER SMALL... hahaha... then i asked his which level he slept on and he was on the 3rd level but when he lay down to show me how he sleeps, it's like only his torso's on the matress, the rest of his body is hanging out. ahaha.. sigh, why do i picture his life there like some begger? hmm
oh, and there was one computer next to the beds... one. :)
Yeh, nothing much la... jus wanted to blog about this humourous dream i had... sigh. come back qiang. sniff. :)
chinese new year post below!
I was with a group of frens [dunno who] and we were somehow visiting Qiang. The place he lived in was like... beyond jia lat.. it was like rocks everywhere and a hill.. some funny tunnel that we had to go thru before we reached his little trailer/house thingy. hahhaa... super funny.. then when we went in, there were people like Sharon [visiting him as well] and about 4 more people who apparently were other attachment people. haha well then we asked him to show us his room and all [and i tell you, the place inside was like some small motel with nothing lor! haha]
So we walked into his room and there was like this small room la... like a small toilet can! haha... and then there was this bed that's like 4 deckered bed... lol... you should have seen the matress can. SUPER SMALL... hahaha... then i asked his which level he slept on and he was on the 3rd level but when he lay down to show me how he sleeps, it's like only his torso's on the matress, the rest of his body is hanging out. ahaha.. sigh, why do i picture his life there like some begger? hmm
oh, and there was one computer next to the beds... one. :)
Yeh, nothing much la... jus wanted to blog about this humourous dream i had... sigh. come back qiang. sniff. :)
chinese new year post below!
Chinese New Year
Happy CNY to everyone! Whee! bring in the bacon... literally... i mean, come on, the highlights of cny HAS to be stuff like NIAN GAO... BA KUA... and all the nice nice goodies that i didn't hesitate in gorging myself with today... it was fun eating and seeing stuff you dun normally see on non-cny days... like red everywhere, people dressed up and stuff. :)
Church was cool. Managed to get alone time with God again. guess that's why i enjoy services... coz i have my little seat there in the front side... where no one else dares to sit [dunch know why. maybe it's coz i'm there]... but in the time i'm there, mostly dun get bothered by people unless thru sms... esp coz yuan was conducting and tricia was playing so the front row was occupied by me at one side and adrian at the other... a wide open gap in the between us both. haha...
Tricia dressed well today.. but i felt the birthday girl topped the charts... she should.. considering how it's her weekend. Yeh, anyways, it was quite an ok service to me... didn't feel smashingly wowed by it today and felt that it might even have been a bit rushed... trying to please and satisfy all the families that were jus waiting to go bai nian... sigh.. kinda sad how people can sumtimes put other things above God and only give Him wad's bare necessary... but well, i'm like that sometimes too.
So that was that for service.. managed to jus chill and hang with eunice and wei-en for a bit after service... guess it's time to start really talkin to people i can talk to or should talk to... rather than standin one corner and wondering where all my peers have gone to. haha... Didn't even come into the fellowship hall today can... save for a short while to jus do a walk thru [i think]... that's bout it... dun even talk bout talking to the youths. :)
Almost left without saying my wishes and greetings to her. thank goodness i managed to spot that bright pink jus before i left. turning back and giving my fleeting wishes was worth it. it was funny, i glanced at my family rushing to the car and then i glanced back at her and realized it's sumthing i needed to do. after all, she's done so much for me... So in that split second, i walked away from my family to shake the hand of my only other family i knew in church. and then i went back and left church. dropped her an sms to remind her of what she meant to me and how i'm glad that nothin much has changed between us and them.
heh.. funny how small things can be so impt to you and such a whim and fancy thing to others...
The rest of the day was basically jus watching movies and movies in grandma's house and cousin's house.. i tell you, to me, this year's CNY celebrations have jus meant movie marathon... dvd that is haha... :) but it's still fun i guess... realized that i dunno whether the next generation's going to be able to still stay strong and bonded. only time will tell.
Yup... that's it from me from day 1. :)
it's been 4 weeks now. 4 weeks. today i struggled so hard. :) A single message would have been great. They say absence makes the heart grow stronger. i feel my heart growing colder. Loved your outfit, but only i'll know that. Ah!
Church was cool. Managed to get alone time with God again. guess that's why i enjoy services... coz i have my little seat there in the front side... where no one else dares to sit [dunch know why. maybe it's coz i'm there]... but in the time i'm there, mostly dun get bothered by people unless thru sms... esp coz yuan was conducting and tricia was playing so the front row was occupied by me at one side and adrian at the other... a wide open gap in the between us both. haha...
Tricia dressed well today.. but i felt the birthday girl topped the charts... she should.. considering how it's her weekend. Yeh, anyways, it was quite an ok service to me... didn't feel smashingly wowed by it today and felt that it might even have been a bit rushed... trying to please and satisfy all the families that were jus waiting to go bai nian... sigh.. kinda sad how people can sumtimes put other things above God and only give Him wad's bare necessary... but well, i'm like that sometimes too.
So that was that for service.. managed to jus chill and hang with eunice and wei-en for a bit after service... guess it's time to start really talkin to people i can talk to or should talk to... rather than standin one corner and wondering where all my peers have gone to. haha... Didn't even come into the fellowship hall today can... save for a short while to jus do a walk thru [i think]... that's bout it... dun even talk bout talking to the youths. :)
Almost left without saying my wishes and greetings to her. thank goodness i managed to spot that bright pink jus before i left. turning back and giving my fleeting wishes was worth it. it was funny, i glanced at my family rushing to the car and then i glanced back at her and realized it's sumthing i needed to do. after all, she's done so much for me... So in that split second, i walked away from my family to shake the hand of my only other family i knew in church. and then i went back and left church. dropped her an sms to remind her of what she meant to me and how i'm glad that nothin much has changed between us and them.
heh.. funny how small things can be so impt to you and such a whim and fancy thing to others...
The rest of the day was basically jus watching movies and movies in grandma's house and cousin's house.. i tell you, to me, this year's CNY celebrations have jus meant movie marathon... dvd that is haha... :) but it's still fun i guess... realized that i dunno whether the next generation's going to be able to still stay strong and bonded. only time will tell.
Yup... that's it from me from day 1. :)
it's been 4 weeks now. 4 weeks. today i struggled so hard. :) A single message would have been great. They say absence makes the heart grow stronger. i feel my heart growing colder. Loved your outfit, but only i'll know that. Ah!
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Selling Flags
just sold flags from 12-3 with Nicholas at Tampines Mall... it was really fun... Volunteer basis la so there's no salary or CIP hours to collect.. jus a fulfilling time of standing around. :)
Though it was kinda sian to get ignored, siam-ed and brushed off, there were times when my heart was indeed lifted up.
Whenever a small kid comes running to me or cautiously approaching me with their money in hand, i would bend down with a beam on my face and say a bright big thank you. As they come to put their money in and get a sticker in return, it jus makes me feel so good and happy that i'm doing this flag day thing... it makes it all worthwhile i guess... seeing their smiles or innocent faces. :) Kinda makes me think that to them, they feel they might be saving the world or sumthing.. like their 10cents matters to the entire human race and its struggle to survival... untainted by the world and it's evil snares, to the child... this is all that the world's about. :) to them, and to me at that point in time... we both echo the same words... "it's all that matters. that i did my bit for charity... for the world."
And then the next person shrugs you off or totally pretends they didn't hear you... then that snaps me back into reality. hahaha...
but it was fun. didn't wanna stop actually.. once the motor got running, it became indifferent to be rejected.. much to the point where i didn't really care who they were or what they said, if they didn't put money in, i'm jus gonna move on to the next person. :)
Yup, it was fun, fulfilling and an interesting way to spend 3 hours of my lunar new year's eve. Whee!. Happy Chinese New Year to everyone! Xin Nian Kwai Le!
Though it was kinda sian to get ignored, siam-ed and brushed off, there were times when my heart was indeed lifted up.
Whenever a small kid comes running to me or cautiously approaching me with their money in hand, i would bend down with a beam on my face and say a bright big thank you. As they come to put their money in and get a sticker in return, it jus makes me feel so good and happy that i'm doing this flag day thing... it makes it all worthwhile i guess... seeing their smiles or innocent faces. :) Kinda makes me think that to them, they feel they might be saving the world or sumthing.. like their 10cents matters to the entire human race and its struggle to survival... untainted by the world and it's evil snares, to the child... this is all that the world's about. :) to them, and to me at that point in time... we both echo the same words... "it's all that matters. that i did my bit for charity... for the world."
And then the next person shrugs you off or totally pretends they didn't hear you... then that snaps me back into reality. hahaha...
but it was fun. didn't wanna stop actually.. once the motor got running, it became indifferent to be rejected.. much to the point where i didn't really care who they were or what they said, if they didn't put money in, i'm jus gonna move on to the next person. :)
Yup, it was fun, fulfilling and an interesting way to spend 3 hours of my lunar new year's eve. Whee!. Happy Chinese New Year to everyone! Xin Nian Kwai Le!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy Vday
***Updated below. Photos will be uploaded soon. When i get them.***
It's finally that time of the year again. When all the hearts are fluttering, all the eyes glazed over and all the florists rich...
Valentine's Day
Don't we all just LOVE this occasion? A date set aside on the Calendar of our busy schedules to take time to smell the roses. But we dun jus stop there, we pick it up and pass it to someone special. It's the day of the year all girlfrens look forward to, boyfrens save up for and couples spend together. When i walked thru Orchard today, it was quite fun seeing all the couples [JC kids and younger... sigh] walking hand in hand with a small $20+ bouquet of roses or flowers. Each girl with a smile on their face and each guy with a girl around his arms... it was nice. :) nice and saturnine... sweet was the word for today i guess...
Sweet, just the word i'd use to describe the Ice Cream a dear fren treated me to today... Pepper Lunch... nice ice cream, bad food [or so i hear]... You gotta try it [not the food]... but yeh, it was fun to know that i could still go out with a fren and be sure that there wasn't any funny thots in either of our heads about the day. :) It was funny and fun i guess to just meet up for that short span of time. thanks for the company while i waited for my basic theory test.
Yup, took it today... and passed. yayz. it was so nice seeing the big word PASSED after i clicked ok... talk bout relief. haha.. got my Advanced Theory test booked... same day as some frens who are retaking. aiyo. sounds tough... but hey, that's why not everyone's driving rite? :) Kinda hungry now...
Singles Supper Prata happening later again for the 2nd year running. yayz. haha we'll see who turns up this year... hope we can all spend our Vday with each other and God... and of course mr. Prata seller. haha.. :) i want prata.
Yup, so the mood today is good and happy. I mean, after getting half day off from work coz of some plans for tml that eats into our normal off, who wouldn't be happy. :) Work's going good.. fun fun... but sumone asked me b4 not to call it work but the Army... well, i would think calling it work would be less confusing... so yeh, Army [work] is good.. last few days as a trainee... using the best of it. :)
Now, that was a totally randomly typed out post... so unlike me to not structure anything... thots or words... guess after trying random........ I STILL LIKE STRUCTURE. hahaha. :)
Don't we all just LOVE this occasion? A date set aside on the Calendar of our busy schedules to take time to smell the roses. But we dun jus stop there, we pick it up and pass it to someone special. It's the day of the year all girlfrens look forward to, boyfrens save up for and couples spend together. When i walked thru Orchard today, it was quite fun seeing all the couples [JC kids and younger... sigh] walking hand in hand with a small $20+ bouquet of roses or flowers. Each girl with a smile on their face and each guy with a girl around his arms... it was nice. :) nice and saturnine... sweet was the word for today i guess...
Sweet, just the word i'd use to describe the Ice Cream a dear fren treated me to today... Pepper Lunch... nice ice cream, bad food [or so i hear]... You gotta try it [not the food]... but yeh, it was fun to know that i could still go out with a fren and be sure that there wasn't any funny thots in either of our heads about the day. :) It was funny and fun i guess to just meet up for that short span of time. thanks for the company while i waited for my basic theory test.
Yup, took it today... and passed. yayz. it was so nice seeing the big word PASSED after i clicked ok... talk bout relief. haha.. got my Advanced Theory test booked... same day as some frens who are retaking. aiyo. sounds tough... but hey, that's why not everyone's driving rite? :) Kinda hungry now...
Singles Supper Prata happening later again for the 2nd year running. yayz. haha we'll see who turns up this year... hope we can all spend our Vday with each other and God... and of course mr. Prata seller. haha.. :) i want prata.
Yup, so the mood today is good and happy. I mean, after getting half day off from work coz of some plans for tml that eats into our normal off, who wouldn't be happy. :) Work's going good.. fun fun... but sumone asked me b4 not to call it work but the Army... well, i would think calling it work would be less confusing... so yeh, Army [work] is good.. last few days as a trainee... using the best of it. :)
Now, that was a totally randomly typed out post... so unlike me to not structure anything... thots or words... guess after trying random........ I STILL LIKE STRUCTURE. hahaha. :)
Happy Valentine's Day / Friendship Day everyone!
************************************************************************************
*** Single's Supper was great. Though i waited by myself at the prata place for one hour coz everyone was friggin' late... it was still better than doing nothing. It was kinda fun jus hanging out even if the TV did get a lot of attention, the time we spent just laughing about everything, it was fun.... plus, we all share something special, we're all Singles. :)
14/2=7 [140207] Photos will be up soon!***
************************************************************************************
*** Single's Supper was great. Though i waited by myself at the prata place for one hour coz everyone was friggin' late... it was still better than doing nothing. It was kinda fun jus hanging out even if the TV did get a lot of attention, the time we spent just laughing about everything, it was fun.... plus, we all share something special, we're all Singles. :)
14/2=7 [140207] Photos will be up soon!***
Monday, February 12, 2007
Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps
Perhaps he'll never again open his heart.
Perhaps he'll never expect her to ever start.
Perhaps he'll realize that it's better to hurt early.
Perhaps he'll be loved by her, surely.
Perhaps she'll wonder how come it's been so long.
Perhaps she'll miss him with feelings so strong.
Perhaps she'll figure out why he's doing this.
Perhaps she'll see that ignorance could be bliss.
Perhaps they'll never speak the same way again.
Perhaps they'll never recover from the strain.
Perhaps they'll long and wish to be, from this pain, free.
Perhaps they'll see, that maybe, they were never meant to be.
Perhaps he'll never expect her to ever start.
Perhaps he'll realize that it's better to hurt early.
Perhaps he'll be loved by her, surely.
Perhaps she'll wonder how come it's been so long.
Perhaps she'll miss him with feelings so strong.
Perhaps she'll figure out why he's doing this.
Perhaps she'll see that ignorance could be bliss.
Perhaps they'll never speak the same way again.
Perhaps they'll never recover from the strain.
Perhaps they'll long and wish to be, from this pain, free.
Perhaps they'll see, that maybe, they were never meant to be.
the 3 perhaps that could happen in a relationship turned cold and hard. just thots off the top of my head. i wonder whether it's painful for him to jus stop talkin to her the way he did. i wonder whether her realizing something's different in the way he talks would prompt her to really ask him whether anything's wrong.... and not take the first answer as his final answer.
I hope she doesn't stop asking him coz we all know how the first answer's the defense mechanism. He'll fight within himself to be true to what he promised himself and yet he knows that no matter what he does, she still means too much to him to lose.
It made me think to myself... could you care for a person to the extent that you'd purposely slice yourself bit by bit out of a person's life so that their life would be better. say... you were the problem. would you? would i? :) only i know.
perhaps.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Observant
I realized today with no space for confusion that i've changed. Changed in one small aspect of my life that kinda shocked me a little. :) never thot i'd become what i am now in terms of this but i've noticed that it's quite obvious to me. what then are you asking? well, i no longer am part of the crowd or group... and it's done voluntarily i guess.
I'd rather sit one side, watch the group or people and jus smile to myself at what i'm watching or looking at. Maybe it's part of me to observe now since i'm moving away... from the yf, from sch friends... from army friends... whatever it is, i feel that sometimes, i can jus sit back, watch and thank God at what the group is now. I guess it's like stopping to smell the roses... but i'm mostly glad at what i see la. :)
Today i found myself doing that three times. and all of it was unconsciously.
Once was during YF when i sat back at watched Yuan close the YF and the YFers all paying attention to the challenges he was issuing and feeling the conviction within themselves to Evangelize.
Second time was after YF when the guys [Nick, Hens, Ben, Adrian, Shawn] were playin ping pong. Partly coz i had blisters on my feet [owwie!] but i didn't wanna play too. So i sat there for a while with my music in my ears [you'll know wad music later] and i just watched them have fun, laugh and share their youth with each other. :)
Third was at a fren's 21st birthday. It's like a re-union for poly friends la... and i sat back after gathering all the updates from everyone. Girls are in Unis, Guys mostly in the army. Watchin them and seeing how somethings changed and some haven't... it was kinda nice to observe them just joking and being fun and all. :)
Guess now i draw strength from knowing things are going well and fine. :) Part of me also knows that this thot will one day [sooner than i think] lead me to think that i'm ready to leave. Whether it's in an extreme case or just in small bits like leaving yf to yaf... not impt... it's whether i'm willing to be humble enuf to know that it doesn't really matter if i leave or not, coz it's all in God's hands... and not mine. :) Just glad that He's preparing my heart and me to slowly de-root myself from stuff like YF. Maybe that's why He's taken all my peers away one by one. I've always complained to Him about that, now i see why He did so. Heh. how short sighted Rui is.
I'd love for my wife to sing like Olivia Ong. This song is just being played over and over in my zen today... Sweet Memories by Olivia Ong. Here's the link...
Goodness, if someone were to sing this song to me in the same way, i'd drop down on my knees and propose on the spot can. Her voice is just so beautiful and soothing.
Gosh... *rui's knees get weak and buckle under his already-jelly-like body*
Yeh, so do hope you like this song and know that i love it. haha... p.s. She's Singaporean. :-s
Yup, on to the 2nd day of the weekend! wootz... one day jus flew by like that. :) haiz. haha
I'd rather sit one side, watch the group or people and jus smile to myself at what i'm watching or looking at. Maybe it's part of me to observe now since i'm moving away... from the yf, from sch friends... from army friends... whatever it is, i feel that sometimes, i can jus sit back, watch and thank God at what the group is now. I guess it's like stopping to smell the roses... but i'm mostly glad at what i see la. :)
Today i found myself doing that three times. and all of it was unconsciously.
Once was during YF when i sat back at watched Yuan close the YF and the YFers all paying attention to the challenges he was issuing and feeling the conviction within themselves to Evangelize.
Second time was after YF when the guys [Nick, Hens, Ben, Adrian, Shawn] were playin ping pong. Partly coz i had blisters on my feet [owwie!] but i didn't wanna play too. So i sat there for a while with my music in my ears [you'll know wad music later] and i just watched them have fun, laugh and share their youth with each other. :)
Third was at a fren's 21st birthday. It's like a re-union for poly friends la... and i sat back after gathering all the updates from everyone. Girls are in Unis, Guys mostly in the army. Watchin them and seeing how somethings changed and some haven't... it was kinda nice to observe them just joking and being fun and all. :)
Guess now i draw strength from knowing things are going well and fine. :) Part of me also knows that this thot will one day [sooner than i think] lead me to think that i'm ready to leave. Whether it's in an extreme case or just in small bits like leaving yf to yaf... not impt... it's whether i'm willing to be humble enuf to know that it doesn't really matter if i leave or not, coz it's all in God's hands... and not mine. :) Just glad that He's preparing my heart and me to slowly de-root myself from stuff like YF. Maybe that's why He's taken all my peers away one by one. I've always complained to Him about that, now i see why He did so. Heh. how short sighted Rui is.
I'd love for my wife to sing like Olivia Ong. This song is just being played over and over in my zen today... Sweet Memories by Olivia Ong. Here's the link...
Goodness, if someone were to sing this song to me in the same way, i'd drop down on my knees and propose on the spot can. Her voice is just so beautiful and soothing.
Gosh... *rui's knees get weak and buckle under his already-jelly-like body*
Yeh, so do hope you like this song and know that i love it. haha... p.s. She's Singaporean. :-s
Yup, on to the 2nd day of the weekend! wootz... one day jus flew by like that. :) haiz. haha
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Disappointments
Sorry for the overkill of emo posts... but yeh, i haven't been the best of spirits lately. :) and whenever i blog, it's about something emo. :) well, to justify it, i haven't had the most joyous days lately so yeh. :)
YF yesterday was really great. dun wanna blog bout it coz i dun have the time and effort to do it... but yeh, it was very enriching. thank God.
Today, got reminded of sumthing today again. I know i'm always a giver in a relationship and that because of that, big or small relationships... i sumtimes still suffer. :) you put yourself on this rock and lift it up with hope jus to see it crashing down one day or sumthing like that...
i guess i jus dun like to be disappointed and lots of times, i am. :) so yeh, trying not to be affected.
Just hate to waste weekends like this... or more specifically, sundays. but if you ask me what i would want to do... i wouldn't know either. maybe jus to hang with a fren to talk or drink coffee and chill. i admit, i'm getting old and dun like to do young people stuff anymore like go arcades, watch a movie, blading, table tennis, soccer....
or maybe it's jus this emo-tive time of the month/year/life. hhaha dunno. we'll see.
today was hmmm alrite. service was really great. being in praise team made quite a lot of difference and i really enjoyed and was blessed by the worship we had today. message was quite cool too... took down notes, sumthing i haven't been doing in a while. gotta get my butt off the chair and buy a notebook... can't keep using it as an excuse la. :)
p.s. Shawn, dun worry bout it. but thanks for helpin me a bit today. and dun think bout it la, i know wad to do. :)
YF yesterday was really great. dun wanna blog bout it coz i dun have the time and effort to do it... but yeh, it was very enriching. thank God.
Today, got reminded of sumthing today again. I know i'm always a giver in a relationship and that because of that, big or small relationships... i sumtimes still suffer. :) you put yourself on this rock and lift it up with hope jus to see it crashing down one day or sumthing like that...
i guess i jus dun like to be disappointed and lots of times, i am. :) so yeh, trying not to be affected.
Just hate to waste weekends like this... or more specifically, sundays. but if you ask me what i would want to do... i wouldn't know either. maybe jus to hang with a fren to talk or drink coffee and chill. i admit, i'm getting old and dun like to do young people stuff anymore like go arcades, watch a movie, blading, table tennis, soccer....
or maybe it's jus this emo-tive time of the month/year/life. hhaha dunno. we'll see.
today was hmmm alrite. service was really great. being in praise team made quite a lot of difference and i really enjoyed and was blessed by the worship we had today. message was quite cool too... took down notes, sumthing i haven't been doing in a while. gotta get my butt off the chair and buy a notebook... can't keep using it as an excuse la. :)
p.s. Shawn, dun worry bout it. but thanks for helpin me a bit today. and dun think bout it la, i know wad to do. :)
Saturday, February 03, 2007
I'm so sorry, brother.
*Edited the title coz someone thot this post was about relationship issues. it's not. :)*
Don't know if you'll ever read this. but you know wad i'm sorry about. i know that words can't even come close to helping.. but there's this emptiness within me when i think about you now. what i did to you. what i caused. what's going to happen now. You're going to go thru sh*t coz of me. all coz of me. really. from the deepest crevices of my heart. i'm sorry.
typing this after you left. i still feel like sh*t. really, although i was able to keep calm, composed and fine about it all, it'll start to really sink in tml. when i tell them about it. then it'll come like a tonne of bricks. that's when it'll finally hit home hard.
if you never forgive me for it [despite your undying apologies to me too]... i won't be surprised. but trust me on this when i say, you had no fault in this in my eyes. i shouldn't have done it, neither should i have to make you pay for it. but there's nothing to say to you now that can change things so i'm sorry.
sigh. life's gonna change quite a bit from now on. thank God for His help in this situation. Never wanna do it again. What was i thinking.
For those who aren't who this post is written to, Please, don't ask what this post is about. respect my privacy enuf to be mature when i say i won't and don't want this information to be passed to anyone. thank you and i'm sorry to you too.
Don't know if you'll ever read this. but you know wad i'm sorry about. i know that words can't even come close to helping.. but there's this emptiness within me when i think about you now. what i did to you. what i caused. what's going to happen now. You're going to go thru sh*t coz of me. all coz of me. really. from the deepest crevices of my heart. i'm sorry.
typing this after you left. i still feel like sh*t. really, although i was able to keep calm, composed and fine about it all, it'll start to really sink in tml. when i tell them about it. then it'll come like a tonne of bricks. that's when it'll finally hit home hard.
if you never forgive me for it [despite your undying apologies to me too]... i won't be surprised. but trust me on this when i say, you had no fault in this in my eyes. i shouldn't have done it, neither should i have to make you pay for it. but there's nothing to say to you now that can change things so i'm sorry.
sigh. life's gonna change quite a bit from now on. thank God for His help in this situation. Never wanna do it again. What was i thinking.
For those who aren't who this post is written to, Please, don't ask what this post is about. respect my privacy enuf to be mature when i say i won't and don't want this information to be passed to anyone. thank you and i'm sorry to you too.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Sorry
I really did want to blog. but i got no time.
sorry.
i'll blog when i can ok? btw. pray i dun OT. today got a big 'job' lumped onto my skinny shoulders. if i ot, i won't be alive come saturday. haha
p.s. Guitar strap's being fixed now. await the debut on saturday! :)
sorry.
i'll blog when i can ok? btw. pray i dun OT. today got a big 'job' lumped onto my skinny shoulders. if i ot, i won't be alive come saturday. haha
p.s. Guitar strap's being fixed now. await the debut on saturday! :)
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