Just some "bleahs" from me

these few days been kinda... busy in the mind. have been a bit distracted in my thinking. i have no idea what's bugging me or playing in my mind but haven't been very joyful lately. more like joyless. haha but things are doing fine i guess. nothing big happening. maybe that's the problem... nothing big's happening. i've thot of some possibilities as to why i might be a bit out of sorts.. but then again, most don't really make sense.

on other news, youth camp's coming up and stress level is getting a bit high as some stuff are still not finished or finalized... and it kinda bugs me that some of it is partly or fully my fault.. i guess things could be worse and if you look at it from a bird's eye view, everything's going well. but still, you know my particular attention to the minute details and those things bug me if they're out of place. groupings are a headache too. trying to get groups that won't have conflicts or strife... i hope that the groupings will be pleasant and that no one will rip anyone's head off during the camp la. :)

qiang's gone. he's finally left for Shanghai and i guess that empty space that he's left has been awfully silent and quiet. this little pocket of vacuum that leaves the air surrounding it with a gap next to them. The vacuum bubble just lingers on and it's kinda obstructing the flow of the other air... that's kinda how i feel with him gone. it's like, the air's just not complete. will surely miss him for these 4 months. that poot. no news from him so far. he better email back with pics. hahah. :) hope everything's going on smooth there la. :S so many uncertainties. but i guess it's good too. tests me and my friendships.

i'm sitting in the computer lab waiting for my theory test to start after lunch. it's just a major waste of my time coz if we could, we would take the test now and dismiss after lunch. but stupid rules say that we can't dismiss that early today so we're all hoping for something like 2pm. :P anything's better than nothing i guess. :P thank goodness Clarence drove today. then i can chiong to church to do camper. :P

had a nice long talk with my mum last night bout relationship issues, parent child relationship, future plans after ns, lots of things la. sad to say, these few days it gets real hard to jus have time to sit down and talk talk talk like we used to. schedules are packed... sigh. kinda sad la. :) but i'm glad we could share that moment and get her good advice on lots of things. she always is able to put things into perspective when i can't, or won't, really see things clearly.

all the best for your exams angel. :) hope you studied hard enuf and will do well. you never know la.. dun worry k? :) i'm sure you'll be ok. dun da bao... otherwise you have to eat next time too. then sure get fat. hahha.. ok lame. :)

yup. things are still playing in my mind i won't lie. :) but i've learnt to be strong and carry on. i mean, how else would i be standing here smiling everyday if i never learnt to push things aside... the mind is a wonderous thing... it's funny how things can remind you of sumthing and that sumthing can just totally mess you up. all the while, no one knows. :)

went to sitex. saw someone who looked a lot like smjr. i couldn't help but smile thinking how amazingly stunning she still is to me.