We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be apart of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Always be my baby

Zhng my car's sound system!

Woo! Yesterday was my first proper experience with Zhng [modifying] my car... took a half day off and went down to the workshop with Leonard to zhng my car... Leonard was so kind to pass me his old speakers and active sub... these things aren't cheap i tell you.

So anyways, spent bout 3 hours at the workshop waiting... watching them strip the car down was interesting... my door became this piece of metal that jus looked so ugly.. really saw how the cosmetics of a car or any type of vehicle makes it look so much nicer. ahha... then they took out my chair so they could put my sub underneath it and it was quite hilarious coz in the morning, i actually took out my workshop's vehicle's chair too. ahha so it was like the same thing happening, jus that now instead of my military vehicle, it's my honda fit. :)

so anyways, to cut things short, i spent $150 on putting 2 more speakers in, 1 active sub under my seat and 2 tweeters in front... now my sound system is like OH MY GOODNESS. :) but my butt constantly vibrates coz of the sub la. but who cares... hahaha whee!!!

love it.

8 Weeks to ORD

Save the NS Boy, Save the world.
ORD in 8 weeks. goodness. it's gonna pass by really quickly. :) 53days left... :)

p.s. now i've got free time after ORD... anyone wanna take a short trip somewhere? malaysia shopping? haha... come la! lolz.

Dealing with Disappointment [local 'U's]

I'm not gonna let Satan get this one. He will NOT steal my trust away from God. There is nothing that will make me forsake the God of Abraham and though I walk through tough times and mountains that loom overhead, I will fear only of the consequences if I don't trust Him now. Though the path looks grim and weary, I will push on for I know the Lord watches over me and gives me the much needed grace for the next day.
Though every inch of me tells me to be depressed, I will find joy in the Lord for He is my maker and my deliverer. He will be with me through my life and I will trust in Him.

The verses below have given me encouragement and I pray they will the same to you if you ever feel disappointed. Amen.

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD.
I will be joyful in God my Savior (Hab. 3:17-18)

Reply from NUS

Application status

The general stages for the application status are
Application received --> Application processing --> Outcome of application

Your current status is Admission denied.

---

:) This is going to be interesting. I'm pretty down right now. I dunno, I'd rather not blog. Guess I'll have to consider my other options now. Oh my... I've reached the end.

come back soon?

I miss you much.



come back soon. please?

Life's a game. Roll on!

Sometimes you feel like you have no control over things. sometimes u feel that life is jus a game that u can't plan or arrange. That your next move is just as simple as a roll of the dice yet whatever square you land on can have dire consequences. You sometimes land on 'Chance' and an oppotunity knocks at your door. Or you land on 'Go to Jail' and have to face the music for a 'crime' u might have committed. You can't predict your next move, you can't plan ahead. All you do is roll the dice. turn after turn.

Sometimes we feel that way don't we? Sometimes I do. Sometimes i feel like i've got no control. i feel toyed? played around with and forced to make a decision or plan my next steps based on what square i land on.

But it's that the whole point? that all we CAN do is leave it up to the game master. the one who has all the 'game' planned out. the one who knows the start and the end and knows that whatever square you land on, it's for His plan and purpose. And though we feel toyed, it's coz we dun see the end goal, the finality of it all. The 'Pass Go and collect $200' sign. We just see the situation we're in.
So now, let me ask u and myself.. issit that hard to play a game knowing that the game master's your Heavenly Father who loves you? well, yes it is. but it's not impossible. trust.

easier said than done huh? Well, guess wad. You rolled a double 6. you get another roll.

Reply from SMU

Your application was not successful. Unfortunately, we received many more applications than there are places.We will be notifying you in writing shortly. Thank you for your interest in SMU.

:) 2 down. NUS left.

Reply from NTU

Dear Mr Tan

APPLICATION FOR ADMISSION TO NANYANG TECHNOLOGICAL UNIVERSITY IN ACADEMIC YEAR 2008-09

Thank you for your application and your interest in studying at our university.

We appreciate the time and effort you took in applying to us. Each application we receive has its merits. With the record number of applications we received this year, competition for limited places has been very strong.

We have reviewed your application thoroughly but regret to inform you that you have not been successful in your application. We assure you that the University Selection Committee had considered your application to the fullest extent before arriving at this difficult decision.

With best wishe... blahblah [not impt liao]

Yuppers. Glad that finally I got a reply. At least i've cleared one uni out of the way. 2 more to go. Thank God that He's closing doors and stuff coz really, it's harder to decide when everything's open. And He does make His plan clearer for me. :) I'm happy that at least the first to reply was NTU... the one i had no hope of getting into anyways. so there's still hope for the other 2. :) Let's jus wait and see what happens la. Whatever it is, I love God.

'if we win, we praise Him; and if we lose we praise Him. Either way. We honor Him with our actions and our attitudes.' - Facing the Giants.

p.s. please do not send 'i hope you're ok' smses or tags or what. Honestly, I'm FINE! So please... frankly it's irritating to get pity-messages. :)

Email from NUS... false alarm

I got an email today from NUS. once i saw it in my inbox i flew downstairs to call my parents... mum followed me to my room to open the email. and it was a super stupid false alarm.

Some dumb survey they wanted me to do to see how well their admissions campaigning exercise went. WAH LAU... i seriously thot i finally got a reply.

haiz... whatever man... praying God will just help me accept whatever comes.

Today, met up with Y.S and Mel. very interesting discussions we had... Got me thinking quite a bit. I pray I'll stay close to God as I continue to grow... it's a scary world out there and I realized today how much I didn't wanna lose God. haiz. praying hard for me, frens and those who need God.

Disappointed with Studies taking top priority

I guess people will always let you down and disappoint you won't they? Simple things can seem so.. obvious yet when crunch time comes, people act and respond in such shocking ways. It was just last week that we all talked about a certain topic taking God's place as first in your life. We spoke about how we shouldn't put studies above God, we talked about how some people put so much priority in the wrong things in life.

yet, here we have it... a week after that same discussion that I hear someone saying to me that they can't come because they gotta stay home to study. I'm just a bit disappointed. Don't say sorry to me, dun say sorry i can't come. Coz really, you shouldn't be saying sorry to me, not to me. You should instead direct your apologies or excuses even to someone else... someone who you should be staying accountable to... and that's not me, that's God. I understand why you need to study and all... and the reasons i hear are legitimate.. don't worry. I'm jus saddened about the issue and I want to blog bout it coz i'm jus sad it has to happen.

I'm not pointing fingers at anyone coz i'm always guilty of such too. but i'm just disappointed that sometimes we can be so convicted about sumthing and then when it demands our commitment, we turn our backs. :S

Leonard raised this point during one of his sermons that i brought up during YAF today... he said, and i don't quote coz these are my words paraphrased from his point...
'People want changed lives but yet, they don't want their lives changed'
'People are willing to follow Jesus until it costs them something'

myself included. We're all sinful... but let's all press on to try to be who we are when it's most needed. Walk the walk we talk.

Uni Applications Bugging Me

NUS says:
Application status
The general stages for the application status are
Application received --> Application processing --> Outcome of application
Your current status is Application processing.

---

SMU says,
Thank you for your interest in SMU. Your application is currently being processed. We will inform you of the outcome of your application in due course.

---

NTU says,
well... NTU doesn't say anything coz they dun even have a page that tells u whether you're awaiting a response from them...

---

I am so sick of seeing these on the Uni application webpages... it's like... INCONCLUSIVE! let me know whether i'm in or not soon please!!! :S I've been waiting for a reply from NUS, NTU, SMU for the longest time.

mood: in suspenseful shit

W760... mine.... soon.

I will own this in a few weeks time... :) why? coz i'm going to buy it when i ORD. :) which is in a few weeks time... to be exact, it's 11weeks time.. that's like 2 plus months! wootz!!! haha anyways... i really quite like this phone. seems like quite a nice match for me. i've always wanted a nice walkman sony ericsson phone... so till i find something wrong with this phone or find sumthing better, this shall be what i'm aiming for... hopefully when it DOES properly come out, it won't be expensive. we'll see now shant we? ahha

Need a good phone coz mine has wanted to ORD from me for a long time... it's been crapping up, lousy reception, bad keys, no functions, useless battery... the only good thing about it is prob the look of it, the fact that it's a flip phone and the size. :) other than that.... hmmm. haha

We'll see how la. will save money for it and try to pay for it coz i never like to make my parents pay for anything i own... except the car and laptop. haha coz u know, they run into the thousands so there's no way i can pay for them. :S haha... and i am very grateful for everything i own which isn't paid for by myself... which is everything around me actually. like the house. HAHA...

Talkin bout that, i bought meself a trucker cap! yayz... ahha slowly completing my hiphop waredrobe.. which right now consists of 1 cargo pants, 1 trucker cap, 1 pair of shoes and 3 ankle socks... yarh. managed to grab some socks the other day too. i need want new shoes coz the insoles of the one i wear is gone... i need want new cargos coz having one cargo pants is just not enough... so sian.


On other news, i'm glad i'm off tml coz i have NO mood to go back to work. i guess it's coz we slogged quite a bit at work the past few days so that we could earn this off... and i'm glad i dun have to go to work coz i'm pretty sick of it. :) it's not so much the ORD mood, it's the fact that there just isn't anything to work for. i could go on and on about how i am TOTALLY not satisfied/contented/pleased with my workplace and the people there but i dun wanna be arrested... with 2 more months left... who wants to be a bellringer? and i'm not talkin bout some glam gameshow here... :)

Apart from that and all, i'm pretty ok with life. it's slowly moving i suppose. frens come and go rite? likewise for many things in life. ah... who am i kidding, when i've reached this point of the blog post, i just dun feel like blogging. hahah hope the top section has given u enuf to not demand for a 2nd post. :)

Here's a cool vid i found. It's for those people who love drifting... check it out yo. It's a truck... now how pro is that!

Purpose.

I don't know if it's God trying to tell us, YF, something... whether He's telling ME something or what but there has been some coincidences about a certain topic that keeps coming up in Shalom. Let me start where it should start...

Yesterday, we had the video screening of 'Facing the Giants' and it was wonderful... the show was great and the discussion after was done really well. Kudos to M.Chan and J.Low for doing such a great job facilitating the discussion. During the discussion, we talked about purpose... why we do things.. what's our purpose on this earth and what is success measured as in singapore? why do studies take a higher priority than church and God? In the show, there was a quote we all loved... it says, "If we win, we praise God and if we lose, we praise God. No matter what, we honour God with our lives"... and that really stayed with me... whatever the result, if we play for God, it doesn't matter now does it... God doesn't want us to score well, He doesn't want us to be the best in class. He doesn't grade us based on that. He just wants us to love Him with ALL our heart, soul and mind. So when we are here... what then is our purpose?

Today, the sermon topic was "win or lose, we praise God"... woah! haha... so freaky... and then during NISS class, we started talkin bout purpose again. and the discussion was EXACTLY like the discussion we had yesterday and the funny thing was that my NISS class people were the people who DIDN'T go for YF... so it was like woah... we're talkin bout the SAME things... exactly the same answers and discussion stuff. so cool la. i was jus sittin there smiling away watching them talk.

K.Tan raised up a real good point today. He was tellin us of this quote... sumthing like...
If your purpose on this earth is to worship God then forget it. coz it'll always be incomplete... wait for heaven... you'll worship God proper there. If your purpose is to serve then forget that too. coz you'll be serving in heaven and it'll be free of pride and greed. But maybe our purpose on this earth now is something we can't do in heaven. What is the only thing we can't do in heaven? Reach lost souls for Christ... so maybe that's why we're still here... still alive and still given the next day of our lives to live. now doesn't it make u think of how much we're fulfiling that purpose? :)

just a thot to throw around in your heads as we start yet another week of life for Him. :) stay strong brothers, sisters and for those who have yet to believe in christ... consider the fact that our purpose on earth is defined only by someone who isn't in this world... :)

Holy Gwakamole! Shuffling!

Dudes and Dudettes, CHECK THIS OUT YO. ownage! haha.

turn down your speakers.. it's a bit loud la. the music... thumping. ahah but the boy is... imba!

Randomness personified

"due to the rising oil prices, sorry i cant jia you anymore"

haha i jus broke into laughter when i saw this as my fren's personal message. super funny lor. and it's true isn't it? heard that oil prices are gonna go up to almost $0.23 or more... like wth! that means i'm gonna be paying 37 x $2.30 = $85.10 for a full tank.... which lasts me what? 5 days? oh man... that's mad... for those who don't own cars, i dun think you'll really know how much that means.. so dun take lifts from frens... be nice to them. HAHA... jus kidding la.

Spent an evening on wed night washing cars... like what? yeh, i brought both cars down to a location and while waiting for my mum to end her activity, ben and i ended up washing our cars... sad to say i had the sunny AND the fit with me coz mum drove one and so did i... ended up washing the fit really well... and then since ben wasn't done, the sunny screamed to be washed so had to wash that too. tiring like anything. elbow grease that's what ben calls manual labour... wah.. tired can. haha but satisfying la. after the wash, both cars were fresher than before... shiny and new... ok maybe not new. but at least they looked drivable. :) esp the sunny who has been collecting dust for a while now. HAHA. :)

Gonna have a busy stressful weekend this week. sat got to conduct breakout and discussions after... then prob gonna see if we can do sumthing with nick coz he just came out of tekong. :) then sunday got church, NISS [oh man... that reminds me], Exco meeting, Church Camp meeting [where we're meeting session to give our official proposals... eeps] and whatever comes after that. :) maybe i'll watch a movie in downtown east after that. treat myself a bit la. since i haven't watched a show in a while :)

work's been killer. we're OTing these days... thurs, fri, mon, tues... hopefully we can clear the work by monday and then dun need to OT on tues. haha dunch know if i can go for dance class on monday. gonna talk to bosses to see if i can get excused. but need to do the work before i can ask mahz. haha sigh. thankfully i'm liking what i'm doing now la. not some dumb fault that can't be fixed or what. it's just the normal mundane super tiring servicing... like monthly servicing but the big one... must change everything la. filters, oil, plugs.... whatever... jus wanna get these 3 months done with. haha... thank goodness i'm still surviving. been driving to camp much more these days so it's not that bad la. :) glad there's a car.

yup, break's over. time to get back to my weekend stuff... must plan, prepare and finally execute a well thought of, well planned activity and meeting. :)

p.s. youth worship's round the corner! oh no. haha.

Catching Up, Ice Cream Chefs and more.

Just a quick sentence to say that all's well. Been a bit busy with dance class and meeting up with friends to really type much for blog.

I have to say that there are a few things that have been taking up my time. mainly church stuff la... YF and Church Camp Comm have been quite draining and stressful. even 2 months before camp and i'm already wondering whether taking it up was a good idea.. but i guess someone's gotta do it and it'll be good if it were fresh ideas and all that jazz la. :) just praying that God would grant me the creativity and innovativeness to follow through whatever plans we have for the church camp. :)

on other news, things have been looking really boring at work. when you've got 86 more days left to leave, you really jus get into this sian mood... not to mention the management there kinda really bites... so it's not making working much easier. truthfully, the only reason why i'm still sane is because of the frens at work and the after-work activity. :)

Been able to dance much more and i'm thinkin of signing up for membership [which would make me dance even more] if the price is right. also been able to get to know and catch up with a fren i haven't had the time to meet over a long time. Ice Cream Chefs and Astons have never been funn-er :P. Glad that i've got company now in P.Lee la... haha it's really something i look forward to every week and i can see myself arranging meetings a week in advance. haha..
Last nite we had botak jones and ice cream chefs. :) glad my small gift was well received too. haha just hope that today brings good news and that P.Lee passes the driving test. :> haha

This friday's the 'Great Flood' Seminar talk at moriah. i'm gonna try to pull along some frens and P.Lee seems to be quite interested in coming so yayz. at least then it'll be interesting fun. ahaha. :)

catch ya guys around. gotta fly to work now. [and this was supposed to be one sentence saying i've got no time to blog. sigh]

youth sunday

wow...today was youth sunday in church... It was great seeing the youth giving their 100% into whatever ministry they were involved in, whether it was to usher, sing or prepare refreshments, everyone put in tremendous effort and i must say that the service not only ran smoothly but many church members really enjoyed the refreshing change. They propose to have it more often.I dunno but if you ask me, I totally agree with that idea. I feel that the youth have a lot of energy and passion for the Lord if only we would be willing to get off our butts and start serving.

When you talk about service, it comes with the idea of having to sacrifice something or to be actively doing something instead of slacking around. Maybe that's why people dun really like the idea of serving... it also denotes that you are lower than someone, someone is your master. But my frens, that's actually something we should jealously guard... to serve God is really a priviledge and opportunity none of us should pass up. Imagine you are given the offer of maybe being the president's driver or the person who makes his coffee in the morning. how many of us would turn down the chance to? And when we do finally work, how many of us would give a half-hearted service to the president?
No my frens, we'd make the best coffee we can possibly make. maybe even throw a few cups away we felt weren't good enuf. We'd polish the car, we'd wax it, clean it, make sure the right air freshener was bought, the tires all pumped up shiny and ready for the VIP... when we drive, we'd pay attention to the president making conversation with us. we'd wear white gloves to drive and we'd drive with such care and concern, slowing down when we near turns, signal when changing lanes, keep within the speed limit.

NOW my frens i ask you. who's bigger? God or the president? yet, here we are... sitting in our little comfy lives, making half grade coffee, dirty tires, dusty windows.... how come we dun see the need to be our best for His best?

Let us be reminded of how God is much greater than we normally think he is and service is just proper response from Him saving us from death and hell. If you ask me, i'd never stop serving christ if there was a choice. And there is. :)

Youth Sunday Prep

I haven't been blogging and I guess it's coz everytime i came to this blogpost page, i just stone and don't know what to write. so i'll jus let thots flow as i type.

We've been putting quite a bit of prep into youth sunday this time around. We've met three times for rehearsals and stuff... it's quite fun i tell you, the choice of songs were [originally thot to be] quite boring and nothing new. However, when we did try it for the first time and we practiced with everything [musicians, choir, chairman, location] in... it was quite a good experience. even when there wasn't people around, i still felt like i was really worshipping God. even after a super super long day. I guess that's what they mean by getting into the zone or the mood... i felt like i was alone in the practice jus raising my voice to the Lord.

I'm putting up an item this time around. it's called Complete by Parachute Band. Abi.L and I are presenting it and I pray that God will be honoured and that we won't draw any attention to ourselves. After all, God is the one we're playing and singing for. Praying that God will grant us good voices and calmness of nerves esp for her coz it's not easy presenting an item. :)

Other than that, life's pretty much ok. 96days to ORD and it's crawling... ahha but it'll pass i guess. it seems like yesterday that i was enlisting [ok that's full of nonsense but yeh] and here i am, 3 months away. :) glad that God has REALLY seen me thru and blessed me so much thru these 2 years... God doesn't leave nor forsake us anytime... it's whether we pull away from Him or not.

May we be complete in Christ as we recognize who He is to us all.

100 days left

MWEHEHHHHEHEHE


sniff. :)