Pipe vs Bucket

I was on my way to work yesterday when I was treated to the likes of Bob Sjogern. Finally disciplining myself to continue where I left off, I plugged in my phone's MP3 and 'sermon-ed' my way to work today. It was good just filling myself with the Word as irritating people squeezed me in the MRT. However, I wasn't going to let the surroundings affect my mood and concentration on the gospel. As it filled my ears, I made it a point to let it fill my mind as well. Listening to the Word as the first act of the day [minus brushing up, changing and leaving the home] really does make things different... perspective of the day just changes in some indescribable way. Well, enough bout that... about the sermon...

He was speaking about how there's a TOP line of a message and a BOTTOM line of the message. How the Bible isn't 66 books but ONE solid book. And just like every other book, this book [the Bible] has an introduction, the main content and the conclusion. But that's another story for another day. The TOP line of the message is that God blesses us. yay whee we win. God loves us yipee... ah but we often forget the BOTTOM line of the message. Which is to say, we bless others. Take for example this simple example of how the 'Levi' people were priests. They were given the right to meet God and to be the middle man between God and people. However they were also given the responsibility of preaching and giving the people the Word of God. likewise, we are also priests. We're given the responsibility of preaching the Word to others also.

One more point i thot was really good was how he likened us to Pipes instead of buckets. We don't jus collect and collect and collect the blessings from God. rather, we should be like pipes and channel the blessings to others as well. so as much as we are blessed, we should bless others as well. This is Christ's work in us and through us. :) Amen to that.

Benefits of Work

Woot! today was QUITE an interesting day. I got 2 things from my work place... first of all, i managed to get some car seats... long story and i dun intend on going into details... but i might jus get some new seats in my car... for free! haha.

But what's more... umm cooler [no.. not those kind u keep beer in]...i got a work line. means i have 2 phones now... so when i call u work line, dun be surprised. it's jus me being cheapo and trying to save money at as many places of my life as possible. :) what is ultra cool is that it turns out the phone they gave me to use [after whining to my boss Eva about not having a phone to use] happens to be the exact same model as mine, jus that it's in red color. oh my goodness.. was so shocked when she took it out.. i was like WOAH! THAT'S MY PHONE! haha... so now i have 2 w760i phones... oh goodness *faints* :)

i am a happy man today. oh and i got my job scope liao. haha nope, i'm no longer in charge of the grid girls [i'm actually quite happy bout it]... i'm in charge of sumthing else i dunno if i can reveal. so i shant... but it's working with people too la. so it's quite the happening. real glad. haha... hope the 2 interns coming in to replace my colleagues are good looki... i mean.. umm presentable and nice people to work with. :) grinz. apparently, they're employing 2 girls. grinz (x2)

whee!

Bcoz M.Chan complains how i always retard [make a photo retarded looking] with my face... here's one without me

birthday wishes

Didn't do much this year. worked till bout 6plus then had to go church for singing practice. was treated to good fellowship in the night and that's a summart of the 31st of july 2008. :)

Thanks for all the love and wishes from so many ways [sms, email, in person, over the phone]...

specially to:
tricia, adrian, sab, joanna, jamie lee, jodi, daphne, arthur, ian, harold, nick, auntie dawn, ivan, zhi han, angel, wendy low, meliza, cheryl, mavis, yvonne, jamie, joella, marcus, chelsea, vera, yan sing, yuan, joash, michelle, nick, chun kit, shawn and others... i only recorded a bit.

I'm grateful for everyone's wishes but seriously, a birthday is just another day. nothing that special about it... so dun feel bad u didn't wish or wished late... to me, it doesn't matter. :)

Things i'm glad for over this week [totally off the top of my head]
Hair is growing longer... yayz finally. hope it all works out
future plans for after work are getting more and more interesting with where i might go
work has been interesting and fun, colleagues are a super fun bunch.

crickets are tasty... kinda. :)

Traffic Jam Party and 1st Day @ Singtel

So the past few days have been quite interesting… Needless to say, the weekend was much looked forward to. We had YF on Saturday and we ended the day LANing at the Tsao’s place. It was pretty fun coz we just hooked up the coms, laptops and stuff and jus gamed away. :) But Sunday was truly memorable.

This Sunday, I finally managed to go for the Daughtry traffic jam street party. It was AMAZING… it was loud, funky, happening, hip, exciting It was everything I asked for in a concert and I got to see Daughtry live in person. now THAT was pretty neat. We started queue-ing up at bout 6.30 and finally when the gate opened, we were ushered in. The party started shortly after with some local bands opening for Daughtry. I must say that it was a tremendously long wait but we were kept entertained. the bands were good and they really got the dead crowd moving a bit and singing along... not bad at all considering how Singapore is like dead la. But i did enjoy the openers and appreciated the style of rock and loud music.

Then finally Daughtry took the stage at bout 9... goodness, how did i survive standing for so long? Anyways, He rocked the house and it was pretty neat how He managed to own the stage with his band. They were just taking control of Armenien Street like they owned the place. One thing I have to mention is that girls scream really loudly and everytime a song started/ended or when he came on stage, the screams and cheers were deafening. Then they say sumthing like "Are you reaaaaady?!?!?!" and that jus urges them to scream louder. goodness. haha deafening to the max. haha but still, all part of the environmental experience.

So we partied hard and it was great jus letting loose. Although yes, my mind and body was still watching out for my fren, but that didn't mean we both didn't have a smashingly awesome time. Sad to say half of our party group had to leave early coz of work the next day but [refer to above] that don't mean the rest of the group [now 2] had to stop partying. haha So yeh, we rocked the night away and rocked the town down screaming the songs and feeling the atmosphere rise with each song he sang. To wrap up, they walked off stage and then finally after much more screaming and cheering, they came back to sing Home and another song to end it all off. wowz... that was great! i was so happy they sang Home... coz it was sumthing i was dying for.

Post-party found us both realizing how much of our hearing was actually gone... like seriously it was weird not being able to hear much but we were countin the cost... and we knew to get the experience we did, we'd have to sacrifice sumthing. haha


yeh so that was sunday's party. Then come monday [yes the next day] i started work at Singtel. And since then, i've been working there. it's real fun i say... this is already my third day and i'm still excited about what i do. I basically am in charge of the Singtel Grid Girls for the F1 race coming up... And well, there are a lot of behind the scenes stuff people dun see so dun think i'm jus being paid to hang with the girls coz i haven't even properly met them yet... it'sjus settling their uniforms and schedules and blogs and stuff la... so yeh, not like i'm a pimp. I think we are all professionally employed and the way Singtel is run, it's real great. My fellow interns are all Christians and so is my big big boss... Really cool coz it affects a lot of things la. But whatever rite? So on the ground, my immediate bosses are real nice, i love the working experience of having meetings with clients and event organizers and stuff.. real cool that i'm expanding my network too. at least getting the exposure of how people [my boss] represents singtel and goes around trying to get people to work with them yet still keeping enuf info on our side to know that the ball is still in our court as to who we choose. really cool manipulative mind games that go on in board rooms too. haha

but yeh, so far, life has been pretty great... enjoying working la. the interns are great... and i'll be sad when people start to leave. but till then, i'm gonna make sure i get the best experience i can. :)

Yayz!!!

Doh-Tah, holy smoke

Oh goodness. take a listen/watch at this... it's SU-PAH far-knee... haha i'm looping it jus to hear it over and over again.... hahah even now as i type this entry. :)

credits to A.Pua for blogging the vid on her blog. ahaha supah farknee. :) enjoy.
holy smoke.... HAHAHAHA
p.s. i will be blogging bout my past 2 days.. but later la. i'll blog from work. HAHA. :)

Should I?

---

Pa won't like it
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."
"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"
"Under the wagon."

Watch-a-holic

So maybe i like watches. So sue me. :)

I WAS using only one for a long time. :)

p.s. go try gothere. it's a wonderful tool now that streetdirectory.com is gone. :) i'm highly impressed by gothere. so useful. :)

Behind the Scenes by Fancesca Battistelli

P.s. Sorry this is only 30-seconds long.... it's to make sure people dun steal this great song off the net.
This is a wonderful song. I've been listening to this new artist... she's 20. goodness.. but she's a Christian singer and her songs are really nice easy listening, plus... them being Christian help me remember some stuff that I often forget. I recommend this album to anyone... and if u want a preview or the whole album, let me know. u can bring your thumbdrive and i'll pass it to you...

enuf bout that, when i was listening to the album, this song really spoke to me. It still rings very true... It's like those songs that u find that's specifically written about you. This song reminded me that although you put yourself in the limelight, you lead, you stand in front and be the figure that people know and associate with 'good leadership and Godliness', i'm just as sinful [if not more] than any one around. No one really knows my sin except me and God and this song is just a reminder to me that putting yourself in the forefront doesn't make you any more Godly than anyone else, it doesn't excuse your sin and more importantly, it doesn't erase anything you've done. Every one sins, myself included, but as leaders, do people expect us to be superhuman? Coz they're not.

It's my prayer that as we listen to this song and ponder, may we strive to be perfect, to be faultless so that no man can question your motives, source of strength and trust. God is God, we are man, but that doesn't excuse us from all the sin in our life, no matter what 'position' we may hold in this human life. We are all equal sinful sheep.

Lyrics:
You may think
I’m just fine
How could anything
Ever be out of line?

I take my time
To set the stage
To make sure everything
Is all in place

Even though I’ve got the lines rehearsed
A picture only paints a thousand words

(Chorus)
Things aren’t always what they seem
You’re only seeing part of me
There’s more than you could ever know
Behind the scenes
I’m incomplete and I’m undone
But I suppose like everyone
There’s so much more that’s going on
Behind the scenes

Sometimes I can’t see
Anything
Through the dark
Surrounding me
And at times I’m unsure
About the ground
Beneath my feet
If it’s safe and sound

When it’s hard to find hope in the unseen
I have peace in knowing it will find me

(Chorus)

You may think I’m just fine
How could anything ever be out of line?

Debz and Airy are back!

So here i am sitting in coffee bean at the airport... it's 12.32am. an hour since debz and airy's flight was supposed to land. I actually was supposed to have almost an hour of free time to myself and NISS before my parent's flight comes... but here i am, left with less than half an hour before i gotta run off to budget terminal. :S haha but i guess it's better than nothing and with the free time i have coz of ORD!!!! i can do NISS another day la. :) just gotta wake up earlier... say... 8am? grinz.

okok so Nick has been complaining i'm being proud about my ORD and being so free.. but seriously... i'm supposed to be. i will NOT hide the fact that i'm super happy that i'm no longer an NSF and i'm so glad i dun need to go work anymore... i'm sorry nick, as they say in the army... suck thumb... haha but yeh, i'll gloat LESS when i'm in your presence. hahha.. like u said jus now la, u dun understand how i feel about ORD coz you've not gone thru what i have... and likewise, you will... so when yours comes, you'll understand what ORD means...

But with that said and done, this entry isn't bout ORD coz that was the last entry... this entry is more about the 2 groups of people who are coming back tonite...
Debz and Airy - 2 people i really miss quite a bit. and the absence makes the heart grow fonder... totally.. haha... it feels like forever since i was able to fellowship properly with them so i'm immensely glad that they're back. As much as i tried to, i couldn't hide the fact that my heart jumped for joy when i saw them walk thru those pearly gates of... oh wait... no no i meant the glassy doors of the airport arrival hall. hahaha. :) no but seriously, i think both of them represent sumthing in my life that i've lacked since quite a while ago so them being back would hopefully help me to get those areas of my life back on track.

For my parents who are touching down in T minus 23minutes... The week that they have been gone has put me thru some thinking. as much as i loved the liberation of them gone, there were SO many times that the thot of 'what if' crossed my mind. esp with my sister gone to chicago... i kept wondering... it's fun... it's great... but what if this was permanent. what if sumthing happened and i'm left alone in this world without a family.. would doing loads of laundry still be exciting? buying chicken rice and da bao-ing home to eat in front of the TV still be a novelty? would having extra cars in the driveway make sense? It scared me to think la. what would i do without them...
Yeh, and it also made me evaluate whether i can take care of myself all alone... whether my income would run out and how then? work and survive alone? so yeh, as much as i loved the freedom this week brought me, it also helped me think thru some important life questions... and of course, i still conclude [even before they left] that i still treasure them and need them so much in my life. My dad took the house keys and with it, the mailbox key. so i haven't been able to check snail mail in a week.. how much are we talkin bout? i have NO idea... lolz.

and the time is 12.45... so i should go... but jus to prove that i was here in the airport blogging... here are random dumb pictures!

ORD LOH!

It's finally here. It's finally passed and I'm finally free....

After waiting 2 long years, I'm finally out of the army. I guess it's safe to say that I've learned much from the 2 years in the army. I've learnt soft skills like how to deal with people, how to make decisions for the team, how to solve problems based on the situations in front of me. I've even learnt hard skills like how to repair vehicles, how to fire a rifle, how to throw a grenade and how to follow commands and march like, no, as a soldier.
To say that the past 2 years were a complete waste of time would be really insensitive and selfish. Coz as much as I'd like to, i have to say that the Army has helped me grow into a more mature, more decisive and less flippant person. The leadership there may not have been the best, the worst actually, but that only showed me how to work under and with tough management whom i might not agree with.

so to sum it all off, the past 2 years are all over and i'm glad i've finally got my freedom back. now... we'll see what awaits.

ORD LOH!

1 Day to ORD

Do I even need to say anything? :)

Rambles from Subway

Went down to the Creative store today at Marina Square... i'm actually in marina sq now. haha but whatever... had a look at the Zen X-Fi... it's sweet seriously... the look is nice, the size is to die for and the screen, wow... so sharp, clear and crazily vibrant... when i was browsing the pictures, it was like i was watching a tv or sumthing. kudos to Creative on that.

however, i really didn't see the need to upgrade to this considering how i already have a good working player which can do everything this one can [music, video, pictures] and it has the same screen size... yup... so i shall jus bite the bullet and wait for a better player to come up... aybe one that can surf the web and send emails. :) yup. thankfully i didn't jus buy it on impulse or sumthing... it does look sweet though so if i didn't have an already working-fine mp3 player from creative, i'd seriously have put some thot and possibly cash into it. :)

that aside, i'm glad that thingsa re pretty smooth sailing now. NISS is keeping me in touch with God. Thank God for this solid CE Bible Study Program in the youths and i pray that we'll all benefit 110% from it to learn more about God and to learn God. we can't jus know ABOUT God. we must know God.

a good friend's grandma just passed away. sigh. funerals always make me a bit sad. esp when i get the answer 'no' when i ask if they were a believer... u really are accountable to the time u have here and how many people u share Christ to. it's really sad to see them leave coz u know wad's awaiting isn't heaven. sigh... sorry to bring this down and make the mood low, but this truly is the essence of my feelings now. the sense of despair that there's nothing left we CAN do...

on other news, been receiving quite a lot of bad news recently too. personal life, friends, family... lots of things aren't going the way we planned. but i guess we still have time to affect and effect changes... just pray that with the time we have, we can use it for God... thankfully the Bible is keeping me and us all strong... stronger than we could ever be without Him.

Zen X-Fi... mine please?

OH MY GOODNESS...

guess what news i got in the email today... a new Zen's out... and by golly, she's a smoking hot-ness...

Zen X-Fi


go.. take.. a... look... GAHHH i want. i want i want i want!!!!
HELP ME.. eeps. *rolls around in uncontrollable materialistic desire*

7 days to ORD

oh my gosh. I opened my firefox web browser just now and look at what greeted me...



Woo! that's a week away. how weird is that. never thot it would be so close. ORD is like within the next week manz.. like totally. haha all i need now is to hear from my company that we've been given the next week OFF. ahaha but i dun think that'll happen. never mind. ahah.. at least i'll be done with it all in a week's time. wonderful news.

today I spent time with 2 good frens over the period of the day that reminded me that friends are people u normally take for granted. It takes special effort to keep a frenship going and though it looks easy sumtimes, i think it takes 2 hands to clap for a frenship to work. so here are my 2thots that came from it..

negative
when the other hand doesn't clap and doesn't seem to think a frenship is worth keeping, or says it only and does a different thing. then maybe u shouldn't waste time on it anymore. Maybe u should invest your time into people who really care and bother. To those people, you mean sumthing and therefore, these are the people who should mean sumthing to u rather than those who are just too busy, or always have a convenient excuse to give, or just plain ignorant to your efforts.

positive
To those who are your friends, you share with, you know that when u go, they'll miss you and want to meet up again. It could be just to catch up over morning breakfast, to update you on their life, to hear more about yours, to jus call u to tell u that they've bought a new phone which sounds like yours or just to enjoy a movie together with nothing planned later except chilling and sharing of lives. there, these are the people who you know can echo the phrase ,"it doesn't really matter what we do, it's good coz the time is spent with you."

Now back to the army. i think it zaps alot of our life away from us, we turn into vulgar, rude, mindless animals that can snap at anyone with a string of dialect so cohesively put together you'd only guess it's coz of the frequent use of it. But when we get out of here, every father's/mother's son should be a mature man, ready to face the challenges put to him in the near future and beyond.
Do I feel that? Well, as much as i'd love to slam the army and the way it's run, i think i have to say that yes, it has changed me. maybe not physically and spiritually [thank God for that] but it's helped me see a lot and when u see things, u learn from them, you grow and you understand that maturity should therefore stop u from making other mistakes in the past.

So yeh, with 7 days to go, i better start applying into the CCC.... what you don't know? Well, it's the Civillian Conversion Course duh... hahhaa... :)

7days to ORD!!!

11 days to ORD

my goodness. i'm a DAY away from being 10 days to ORD... can't believe it's actually happening. i understand it'll be anti climax and the first day of ORD will be super like 'what am i going to do now' kinda thing... sumthing like today. but still, i can't wait to take off the green on me.

why bother

Sometimes, i wonder, why bother? There are loads of times when i think there isn't a reason why we should carry on trying. trying to better the situation, trying to get something out of it.

and then i realize, i should just be content with what i already have and actually, anything more than this would just make things complicated. so just bugger off, let people live their lives and i just be accountable for my own life.

i mean, why bother when it takes so much effort to get the other hand to clap. everything's fine now, why change things.

why bother?

w760i MINE!

So, i finally bought myself my ORD gift... the gift i've been waiting for for the past 2 years... and specifically this particular gift for a few months ago... Today, i ran out of the house [fully using my one day of leave] to go and buy myself... the much coveted ....

w760i

woo! i'm the proud owner of this smashin phone. whee! haha okok it's not THAT great a phone, but seriously compared to the one i have now, it's amazingly great. ahha okok, so the samsung is SO lousy la... no camera, no walkman, no loads of simple functions [do u know that old samsung phone can't ring and vibrate at the same time, they ring ring ring then when the melody is over, it vibrates... wow, how did they approve manufacturing of that?!?!]... so yeh, the new phone i have is really a treat for myself. :)

now, at least i can enjoy messaging without having to worry if the button i pressed was really indeed pressed coz the samsung i have is really not working anymore [buttons]... so yeh, pretty glad that i've bought myself a new phone. now, i just have to transfer the stuff into the new phone and we're all set to start using proper phone functions again. :) here's a pic of the proud owner and his old and new phone. please ignore the background, i'm in simei eastpoint. :P

and just the phone alone...

Clearance Forms

Just came back from Jurong Camp. I'm on leave today but because some big shots aren't around for the next two weeks, I had to go down to camp today to get them to sign the form. It was quite cool actually, walking around in Civilian... everyone there kept asking me, "oh joel! you ORDing ah?" and it was quite nice to know that all the big shots kinda knew who i was and was kinda sad to see me go. Funny though coz the thot 'i would have been so much happier working under you' came up time and time again as i chatted with some of the officers there. Not that work life is TOTALLY crappy in my unit, i just felt that i'd prob have a much enjoyable time under those officers.

Nonetheless, clearance form is a direct symbol of how little time u have left and i would always envy those ORD personnel who were walkin around the workshop getting people to sign their forms. but here i am no, 15 days away from ORD... doing exactly that. heh...

it's funny coz the 2 years seems to have flown by really fast.. but when i think back and think of the day of my enlistment, wow... it feels like forever since then. One thing to note, Rachel and Dinesh were still in spore when i left for the Army and matt was still a 2LT. lolz. haha.. i've got pictures of my enlistment.. but i think i'll save it for my ORD post. :P in 15 days time. whee! hahha

I really thank God for a lot of things in the army. take for example now, the situation in my company isn't really good... lots of people not too happy and morale is generally low la... hard to explain without sounding bitter and angry [coz i'm not] but it's really hard to find joy working... and there's nothing the management is doing about it. there are times that i'm jus SO so so glad that i'm leaving.. but then i think of my juniors and what nonsense they'll still have to go thru when we've left.. pity them. But i hope that things will change la. we never know, things jus might change for the better. But seriously, there are loads of times i can hold myself back from saying sumthing bitter or angry because of the peace God gives me. Things aren't good yes, but complaining about it isn't going to solve anything. So i just pray for strength and wisdom on how to deal with decisions and God always comes thru for me.

Yup, so 15 days away from ORD and i've just went to buy my ORD present to myself. haha... but you prob have already read about it since this entry appears AFTER the most recent one. so yeh, yayz. haha

ThankGod for life.

Remembering Friends

Just penning down some thoughts because i haven't been doing that in a long time and also coz things have made me think of certain issues. I recently picked up a journal i used to have a long time [2 years] ago and reading what i wrote, i chuckled at my sillyness about some stuff and reflected on other.

What struck me the most actually was how much i treasured a friendship i had back then. I wrote how much i thanked God for it and how it has made me closer to God and stuff... and sad to say, i barely have friendships THAT significant nowadays let alone friendships that so obviously point me to God. maybe it's coz of who i am now and how much i've changed [if i have] or maybe it's jus coz i'm more jaded with life and friends. I dunch really know but i guess things do look they're going on an uphill climb. from here on forth, i see a road that's kinda set before me that will take effort and dedication, but i plan on taking that route up because it doesn't make sense to stay here in the valley. But i know that initiative is everything and initiative in the right friendships. More so than not, i dun seek God first in a friendship [in the sense that it isn't the top priority when i decide on how to spend my time with a friend]... but i pray that God will soften my heart and let me hear Him when He speaks to me. I know these all sound random and haphazard but i pray that God will focus my thots by blogging.

Friends change, friends leave, friends come back. i'm just glad that God doesn't and that friends who point me to God don't leave God coz if they do, i dun really know how i'd get back there. To summarize it all, i'm glad that accountability is coming back and trust and honesty will be closer to home than it was before. Glad that once it's come back to me and once it's all back to normal, i'll continue to live a live accountable to a fren and more importantly, God. May we FOCUS on being who we are in this world with the help of those around us.

And a friend's a friend forever, if the Lord the lord of them.
And a friend will not say never coz the welcome never ends.
Though it's hard to let you go, in the Father's hands we know.
That a lifetime's not too long, to live as friends.

LR thots

LR was great. as always. apart from some issues that were seriously bugging me bad, i think it's jus Satan's way of putting distractions in my mind so that i couldn't/wouldn't focus on God and the work He's doing in Shalom. But thank God that He can always turn a bad thing into something blessed for His purpose... so in the end, everything was ok and i was able to change my outlook of things and make sure LR worked for me and the rest of the exco. i just wanted the exco to be able to spend time together as an exco and bond so that we could face problems next time with one mind and one idea.

I changed my personality profile. shocking enuf, i'm no longer a high I... but i think i should do the PROPER test la. the one we did was super not enuf and totally... DUH... it's like... today i feel like being a D therefore i shall ans all the column 1 answers with a high rating... duhz... lame la. but i tried my best to answer it properly and now i'm a S-I... which is interesting coz ju and cheryl seemed to think i'm a higher C than a year ago. i agree... and i think i attribute that change of character to 3 things... Being Chair last time, being secretary now and growing old. yes... growing old... maturity sumtimes saps some I-ness away from you... but like i told them, i want to be a high S instead of I... why? i'm not too sure. guess i'm jus kinda tired of being labelled highly enthusiastic and ignorant to other things around me. it's time to pass on the flame and let others have a shot at being the crazy limelight one. i'm more quiet now and though there are many times, when the situation calls for, i can still invoke my high I-ness and shamelessly do something, i think it's more of a character quality i can call up instead of it being me. :) so it's like a skill more than a character now. not sure.

other than that, as of today.. i've for 27 more days in the army. i'm really looking forward to gettin out coz i guess i'm a bit jaded and sick of the life there. there's been lots happening at my camp and they've really strained a lot of the relationships of the men and the leaders and stuff. and i jus want to leave it all coz it's really taking a lot of my time, emotions and friendships away from me. good news is, the workload of the workshop is gonna hit a high period soon so we're going to be working our butts off... jus before i ord... so yeh, i have no idea how to clear the remaining measley 4.5days of off and leave before i ord. yup, it's that sad. haiz. whatever rite? 27 more days. jus bite the bullet rui... ok, not literally coz that could get me charged.
*p.s. i have NO idea how people can go 2 and a half years here. dun even talk bout signing on.*

yup. so my life's been like that la. nothing much happening i guess. jus wondering how things will change in a year's time. quite a huge change for me.. but we'll see.

yup, i got much to do actually... so blogging is really not sumthing i should be doing now. but i know it's been forever since i did. so here's the much anticipated [yeh rite] post... oh... i bought a new pair of pumas... first ever. :) ducati can. haha check it out.



have a good weekend peeps!

Off to LR! Leader's Retreat

Hey peeps... i'm off to a 3 day in depth focus on God's Word and the YF. :) Yup! It's our annual YF Leader's Retreat once again. I can't say how much i'm looking forward to this camp too. guess it's a bit coz of how i need to discipline myself and these camps normally do the job... and of course coz it's for the youth too la. the reason we plan things, the people we reach out to and the things we do are for the youths. :)

So keep us in prayer as we brainstorm activities and the focus for the next YF year!
Benjamin, Zhi Han, Rui, Cheryl, Julia, Arthur, Jamie, Michelle.

Glory to God above!

Reflections on Church Camp 2008

Glad that i'm all back safe and sound from church camp. this is surely one church camp i'll remember for a long time. not so much because of the people and the activities we did in camp but more coz of the planning of the camp and the things i learnt in the camp.

First of all, i must say that this year has been ultra tiring and very often quite stressful. I thought that publicity wouldn't be so busy during camp itself but since everyone was pretty busy, i took over roles that really took up my time. i'm not complaining here, i'm jus recollecting the experiences in camp. Yeh so throughout the camp i was running here and there making things happen seaminglessly. :) it was pretty stressful seriously... making sure that everything ran according to schedule and stuff.. really didn't have free time at all except the last day... but then again, that was only an hour coz the rest was taken up. Nonetheless, i still managed to find time to go to the gym twice. YAYZ. hmm i should go to my home gym too la. but no time now. shucks. stupid random thot. anyhoo... thank God that everything went well coz it wasn't easy shuttling from projector to guitar to zen [to record messages] to stage for HOOKs and SKITs and back to my seat to copy notes for the workshop after the sermon. :)

And then the other issue bout this year's church camp that i'll remember isn't really a sweet memory. it's more of a confirmation to me. to not be so distracted by the people around me. Focusing on God [even in church camp] can be so hard. So often, i confess, i get lost thinking what others might think or what others might wanna do before i ask what God wants me to do or what God thinks [if He does even need to think] at that point of time. Sometimes bad thoughts creep into my head and then my thots gets turned from God to that bad thot... and it's not good coz it's fruitless thinking. There are always easier things to do than to worry bout what my brain tells me but i just can't help it sometimes, i'm human and humans fail and fall.
Just need to be more focused on the right things and not be distracted on the way.

Glad that quite a number of youth could make it for church camp. Their presence really did play a big part in the ultimate enjoyment of camp. Tiang was a fabulous roommate. ass. locked me out on the last day coz he was such a log sleeping away while i was furiously spamming the doorbell outside for 20 minutes. ahha... haiz. what to do? he was tired, can't blame him totally.

So yeh, here i am, back to reality. Back from the retreat with God and His people. everyone wishes it could last longer but God calls us to a short retreat and thus, we should all enjoy how much time we've been given. Just that sometimes when we're thrown back into this world, the distractions get so much louder than His small voice. Just hope that i can keep trusting God and focusing on Him. don't wanna lose it.

p.s. photos from church camp will be up shortly.

LEADER'S RETREAT IN 2 WEEKS!!! WOOTZ!

At Church Camp 2008

So, as I hoped, there's internet here and i planned to blog one day during the camp. At least to jus say that i've blogged from malaysia, saujana... so here's the post... finally have some spect of free time... waiting for e.kang to come down to my room now so we can go practice for tonite... putting up a skit that apparently a lot of people like [thank God for that] and so we're working on expanding it all for the sake of humiliation, shamefulness and a good time.... of course those are all on our part, all they do is laugh. :)

But church camp has been a blast... really... it's been fun and tiring all at the same time and like always, i never want it to end. just glad that i'm able to enjoy myself and learn more bout God and the Scripture. I really do wish i could spend more time with certain people and less time in debrief meetings are rehearsals for some skit like the one i'll have real soon... but you know, someone's gotta do it. :)

so yeh, i think i have learnt quite a bit from the camp, from running it and seeing how it's run in the background. We all know how camps are run but when we run a christian camp for our home church, there are lots of things we need to be sensitive about, and we sometimes really see the bad side of people... just reminds me that Man can fail us or disappoint us but God never.

Hoped that during this church camp i wouldn't be too distracted. oki gotta go. ciaoz!

Off to church camp!

Hey hey hey! guess who's finally getting a break from army life and everything else singapore related? Let me give u a hint...

ME!

mwhaha! yuppers. i'll be out of your life and uncontactable by phone from the 2nd to the 6th of june. I hear there's internet so i'll prob still be online when i can... and if there's really sumthing SUPER urgent, email me... but please, allow me to run away from you for just ONE week... please? haha..

yup! i can't wait to go tomolo.. been dying for church camp since well... since the last one ended i suppose. haha... yayz. it's been a year of waiting and a year since HANsome and RUIdiant was formed. amazing huh? but well, time flies... so yup, jus posting to say i'm not around. don't call me.

Take care yo!

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be apart of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Always be my baby

Zhng my car's sound system!

Woo! Yesterday was my first proper experience with Zhng [modifying] my car... took a half day off and went down to the workshop with Leonard to zhng my car... Leonard was so kind to pass me his old speakers and active sub... these things aren't cheap i tell you.

So anyways, spent bout 3 hours at the workshop waiting... watching them strip the car down was interesting... my door became this piece of metal that jus looked so ugly.. really saw how the cosmetics of a car or any type of vehicle makes it look so much nicer. ahha... then they took out my chair so they could put my sub underneath it and it was quite hilarious coz in the morning, i actually took out my workshop's vehicle's chair too. ahha so it was like the same thing happening, jus that now instead of my military vehicle, it's my honda fit. :)

so anyways, to cut things short, i spent $150 on putting 2 more speakers in, 1 active sub under my seat and 2 tweeters in front... now my sound system is like OH MY GOODNESS. :) but my butt constantly vibrates coz of the sub la. but who cares... hahaha whee!!!

love it.

8 Weeks to ORD

Save the NS Boy, Save the world.
ORD in 8 weeks. goodness. it's gonna pass by really quickly. :) 53days left... :)

p.s. now i've got free time after ORD... anyone wanna take a short trip somewhere? malaysia shopping? haha... come la! lolz.

Dealing with Disappointment [local 'U's]

I'm not gonna let Satan get this one. He will NOT steal my trust away from God. There is nothing that will make me forsake the God of Abraham and though I walk through tough times and mountains that loom overhead, I will fear only of the consequences if I don't trust Him now. Though the path looks grim and weary, I will push on for I know the Lord watches over me and gives me the much needed grace for the next day.
Though every inch of me tells me to be depressed, I will find joy in the Lord for He is my maker and my deliverer. He will be with me through my life and I will trust in Him.

The verses below have given me encouragement and I pray they will the same to you if you ever feel disappointed. Amen.

Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD.
I will be joyful in God my Savior (Hab. 3:17-18)

Reply from NUS

Application status

The general stages for the application status are
Application received --> Application processing --> Outcome of application

Your current status is Admission denied.

---

:) This is going to be interesting. I'm pretty down right now. I dunno, I'd rather not blog. Guess I'll have to consider my other options now. Oh my... I've reached the end.

come back soon?

I miss you much.



come back soon. please?

Life's a game. Roll on!

Sometimes you feel like you have no control over things. sometimes u feel that life is jus a game that u can't plan or arrange. That your next move is just as simple as a roll of the dice yet whatever square you land on can have dire consequences. You sometimes land on 'Chance' and an oppotunity knocks at your door. Or you land on 'Go to Jail' and have to face the music for a 'crime' u might have committed. You can't predict your next move, you can't plan ahead. All you do is roll the dice. turn after turn.

Sometimes we feel that way don't we? Sometimes I do. Sometimes i feel like i've got no control. i feel toyed? played around with and forced to make a decision or plan my next steps based on what square i land on.

But it's that the whole point? that all we CAN do is leave it up to the game master. the one who has all the 'game' planned out. the one who knows the start and the end and knows that whatever square you land on, it's for His plan and purpose. And though we feel toyed, it's coz we dun see the end goal, the finality of it all. The 'Pass Go and collect $200' sign. We just see the situation we're in.
So now, let me ask u and myself.. issit that hard to play a game knowing that the game master's your Heavenly Father who loves you? well, yes it is. but it's not impossible. trust.

easier said than done huh? Well, guess wad. You rolled a double 6. you get another roll.

Reply from SMU

Your application was not successful. Unfortunately, we received many more applications than there are places.We will be notifying you in writing shortly. Thank you for your interest in SMU.

:) 2 down. NUS left.

Reply from NTU

Dear Mr Tan

APPLICATION FOR ADMISSION TO NANYANG TECHNOLOGICAL UNIVERSITY IN ACADEMIC YEAR 2008-09

Thank you for your application and your interest in studying at our university.

We appreciate the time and effort you took in applying to us. Each application we receive has its merits. With the record number of applications we received this year, competition for limited places has been very strong.

We have reviewed your application thoroughly but regret to inform you that you have not been successful in your application. We assure you that the University Selection Committee had considered your application to the fullest extent before arriving at this difficult decision.

With best wishe... blahblah [not impt liao]

Yuppers. Glad that finally I got a reply. At least i've cleared one uni out of the way. 2 more to go. Thank God that He's closing doors and stuff coz really, it's harder to decide when everything's open. And He does make His plan clearer for me. :) I'm happy that at least the first to reply was NTU... the one i had no hope of getting into anyways. so there's still hope for the other 2. :) Let's jus wait and see what happens la. Whatever it is, I love God.

'if we win, we praise Him; and if we lose we praise Him. Either way. We honor Him with our actions and our attitudes.' - Facing the Giants.

p.s. please do not send 'i hope you're ok' smses or tags or what. Honestly, I'm FINE! So please... frankly it's irritating to get pity-messages. :)

Email from NUS... false alarm

I got an email today from NUS. once i saw it in my inbox i flew downstairs to call my parents... mum followed me to my room to open the email. and it was a super stupid false alarm.

Some dumb survey they wanted me to do to see how well their admissions campaigning exercise went. WAH LAU... i seriously thot i finally got a reply.

haiz... whatever man... praying God will just help me accept whatever comes.

Today, met up with Y.S and Mel. very interesting discussions we had... Got me thinking quite a bit. I pray I'll stay close to God as I continue to grow... it's a scary world out there and I realized today how much I didn't wanna lose God. haiz. praying hard for me, frens and those who need God.

Disappointed with Studies taking top priority

I guess people will always let you down and disappoint you won't they? Simple things can seem so.. obvious yet when crunch time comes, people act and respond in such shocking ways. It was just last week that we all talked about a certain topic taking God's place as first in your life. We spoke about how we shouldn't put studies above God, we talked about how some people put so much priority in the wrong things in life.

yet, here we have it... a week after that same discussion that I hear someone saying to me that they can't come because they gotta stay home to study. I'm just a bit disappointed. Don't say sorry to me, dun say sorry i can't come. Coz really, you shouldn't be saying sorry to me, not to me. You should instead direct your apologies or excuses even to someone else... someone who you should be staying accountable to... and that's not me, that's God. I understand why you need to study and all... and the reasons i hear are legitimate.. don't worry. I'm jus saddened about the issue and I want to blog bout it coz i'm jus sad it has to happen.

I'm not pointing fingers at anyone coz i'm always guilty of such too. but i'm just disappointed that sometimes we can be so convicted about sumthing and then when it demands our commitment, we turn our backs. :S

Leonard raised this point during one of his sermons that i brought up during YAF today... he said, and i don't quote coz these are my words paraphrased from his point...
'People want changed lives but yet, they don't want their lives changed'
'People are willing to follow Jesus until it costs them something'

myself included. We're all sinful... but let's all press on to try to be who we are when it's most needed. Walk the walk we talk.

Uni Applications Bugging Me

NUS says:
Application status
The general stages for the application status are
Application received --> Application processing --> Outcome of application
Your current status is Application processing.

---

SMU says,
Thank you for your interest in SMU. Your application is currently being processed. We will inform you of the outcome of your application in due course.

---

NTU says,
well... NTU doesn't say anything coz they dun even have a page that tells u whether you're awaiting a response from them...

---

I am so sick of seeing these on the Uni application webpages... it's like... INCONCLUSIVE! let me know whether i'm in or not soon please!!! :S I've been waiting for a reply from NUS, NTU, SMU for the longest time.

mood: in suspenseful shit

W760... mine.... soon.

I will own this in a few weeks time... :) why? coz i'm going to buy it when i ORD. :) which is in a few weeks time... to be exact, it's 11weeks time.. that's like 2 plus months! wootz!!! haha anyways... i really quite like this phone. seems like quite a nice match for me. i've always wanted a nice walkman sony ericsson phone... so till i find something wrong with this phone or find sumthing better, this shall be what i'm aiming for... hopefully when it DOES properly come out, it won't be expensive. we'll see now shant we? ahha

Need a good phone coz mine has wanted to ORD from me for a long time... it's been crapping up, lousy reception, bad keys, no functions, useless battery... the only good thing about it is prob the look of it, the fact that it's a flip phone and the size. :) other than that.... hmmm. haha

We'll see how la. will save money for it and try to pay for it coz i never like to make my parents pay for anything i own... except the car and laptop. haha coz u know, they run into the thousands so there's no way i can pay for them. :S haha... and i am very grateful for everything i own which isn't paid for by myself... which is everything around me actually. like the house. HAHA...

Talkin bout that, i bought meself a trucker cap! yayz... ahha slowly completing my hiphop waredrobe.. which right now consists of 1 cargo pants, 1 trucker cap, 1 pair of shoes and 3 ankle socks... yarh. managed to grab some socks the other day too. i need want new shoes coz the insoles of the one i wear is gone... i need want new cargos coz having one cargo pants is just not enough... so sian.


On other news, i'm glad i'm off tml coz i have NO mood to go back to work. i guess it's coz we slogged quite a bit at work the past few days so that we could earn this off... and i'm glad i dun have to go to work coz i'm pretty sick of it. :) it's not so much the ORD mood, it's the fact that there just isn't anything to work for. i could go on and on about how i am TOTALLY not satisfied/contented/pleased with my workplace and the people there but i dun wanna be arrested... with 2 more months left... who wants to be a bellringer? and i'm not talkin bout some glam gameshow here... :)

Apart from that and all, i'm pretty ok with life. it's slowly moving i suppose. frens come and go rite? likewise for many things in life. ah... who am i kidding, when i've reached this point of the blog post, i just dun feel like blogging. hahah hope the top section has given u enuf to not demand for a 2nd post. :)

Here's a cool vid i found. It's for those people who love drifting... check it out yo. It's a truck... now how pro is that!

Purpose.

I don't know if it's God trying to tell us, YF, something... whether He's telling ME something or what but there has been some coincidences about a certain topic that keeps coming up in Shalom. Let me start where it should start...

Yesterday, we had the video screening of 'Facing the Giants' and it was wonderful... the show was great and the discussion after was done really well. Kudos to M.Chan and J.Low for doing such a great job facilitating the discussion. During the discussion, we talked about purpose... why we do things.. what's our purpose on this earth and what is success measured as in singapore? why do studies take a higher priority than church and God? In the show, there was a quote we all loved... it says, "If we win, we praise God and if we lose, we praise God. No matter what, we honour God with our lives"... and that really stayed with me... whatever the result, if we play for God, it doesn't matter now does it... God doesn't want us to score well, He doesn't want us to be the best in class. He doesn't grade us based on that. He just wants us to love Him with ALL our heart, soul and mind. So when we are here... what then is our purpose?

Today, the sermon topic was "win or lose, we praise God"... woah! haha... so freaky... and then during NISS class, we started talkin bout purpose again. and the discussion was EXACTLY like the discussion we had yesterday and the funny thing was that my NISS class people were the people who DIDN'T go for YF... so it was like woah... we're talkin bout the SAME things... exactly the same answers and discussion stuff. so cool la. i was jus sittin there smiling away watching them talk.

K.Tan raised up a real good point today. He was tellin us of this quote... sumthing like...
If your purpose on this earth is to worship God then forget it. coz it'll always be incomplete... wait for heaven... you'll worship God proper there. If your purpose is to serve then forget that too. coz you'll be serving in heaven and it'll be free of pride and greed. But maybe our purpose on this earth now is something we can't do in heaven. What is the only thing we can't do in heaven? Reach lost souls for Christ... so maybe that's why we're still here... still alive and still given the next day of our lives to live. now doesn't it make u think of how much we're fulfiling that purpose? :)

just a thot to throw around in your heads as we start yet another week of life for Him. :) stay strong brothers, sisters and for those who have yet to believe in christ... consider the fact that our purpose on earth is defined only by someone who isn't in this world... :)

Holy Gwakamole! Shuffling!

Dudes and Dudettes, CHECK THIS OUT YO. ownage! haha.

turn down your speakers.. it's a bit loud la. the music... thumping. ahah but the boy is... imba!

Randomness personified

"due to the rising oil prices, sorry i cant jia you anymore"

haha i jus broke into laughter when i saw this as my fren's personal message. super funny lor. and it's true isn't it? heard that oil prices are gonna go up to almost $0.23 or more... like wth! that means i'm gonna be paying 37 x $2.30 = $85.10 for a full tank.... which lasts me what? 5 days? oh man... that's mad... for those who don't own cars, i dun think you'll really know how much that means.. so dun take lifts from frens... be nice to them. HAHA... jus kidding la.

Spent an evening on wed night washing cars... like what? yeh, i brought both cars down to a location and while waiting for my mum to end her activity, ben and i ended up washing our cars... sad to say i had the sunny AND the fit with me coz mum drove one and so did i... ended up washing the fit really well... and then since ben wasn't done, the sunny screamed to be washed so had to wash that too. tiring like anything. elbow grease that's what ben calls manual labour... wah.. tired can. haha but satisfying la. after the wash, both cars were fresher than before... shiny and new... ok maybe not new. but at least they looked drivable. :) esp the sunny who has been collecting dust for a while now. HAHA. :)

Gonna have a busy stressful weekend this week. sat got to conduct breakout and discussions after... then prob gonna see if we can do sumthing with nick coz he just came out of tekong. :) then sunday got church, NISS [oh man... that reminds me], Exco meeting, Church Camp meeting [where we're meeting session to give our official proposals... eeps] and whatever comes after that. :) maybe i'll watch a movie in downtown east after that. treat myself a bit la. since i haven't watched a show in a while :)

work's been killer. we're OTing these days... thurs, fri, mon, tues... hopefully we can clear the work by monday and then dun need to OT on tues. haha dunch know if i can go for dance class on monday. gonna talk to bosses to see if i can get excused. but need to do the work before i can ask mahz. haha sigh. thankfully i'm liking what i'm doing now la. not some dumb fault that can't be fixed or what. it's just the normal mundane super tiring servicing... like monthly servicing but the big one... must change everything la. filters, oil, plugs.... whatever... jus wanna get these 3 months done with. haha... thank goodness i'm still surviving. been driving to camp much more these days so it's not that bad la. :) glad there's a car.

yup, break's over. time to get back to my weekend stuff... must plan, prepare and finally execute a well thought of, well planned activity and meeting. :)

p.s. youth worship's round the corner! oh no. haha.

Catching Up, Ice Cream Chefs and more.

Just a quick sentence to say that all's well. Been a bit busy with dance class and meeting up with friends to really type much for blog.

I have to say that there are a few things that have been taking up my time. mainly church stuff la... YF and Church Camp Comm have been quite draining and stressful. even 2 months before camp and i'm already wondering whether taking it up was a good idea.. but i guess someone's gotta do it and it'll be good if it were fresh ideas and all that jazz la. :) just praying that God would grant me the creativity and innovativeness to follow through whatever plans we have for the church camp. :)

on other news, things have been looking really boring at work. when you've got 86 more days left to leave, you really jus get into this sian mood... not to mention the management there kinda really bites... so it's not making working much easier. truthfully, the only reason why i'm still sane is because of the frens at work and the after-work activity. :)

Been able to dance much more and i'm thinkin of signing up for membership [which would make me dance even more] if the price is right. also been able to get to know and catch up with a fren i haven't had the time to meet over a long time. Ice Cream Chefs and Astons have never been funn-er :P. Glad that i've got company now in P.Lee la... haha it's really something i look forward to every week and i can see myself arranging meetings a week in advance. haha..
Last nite we had botak jones and ice cream chefs. :) glad my small gift was well received too. haha just hope that today brings good news and that P.Lee passes the driving test. :> haha

This friday's the 'Great Flood' Seminar talk at moriah. i'm gonna try to pull along some frens and P.Lee seems to be quite interested in coming so yayz. at least then it'll be interesting fun. ahaha. :)

catch ya guys around. gotta fly to work now. [and this was supposed to be one sentence saying i've got no time to blog. sigh]

youth sunday

wow...today was youth sunday in church... It was great seeing the youth giving their 100% into whatever ministry they were involved in, whether it was to usher, sing or prepare refreshments, everyone put in tremendous effort and i must say that the service not only ran smoothly but many church members really enjoyed the refreshing change. They propose to have it more often.I dunno but if you ask me, I totally agree with that idea. I feel that the youth have a lot of energy and passion for the Lord if only we would be willing to get off our butts and start serving.

When you talk about service, it comes with the idea of having to sacrifice something or to be actively doing something instead of slacking around. Maybe that's why people dun really like the idea of serving... it also denotes that you are lower than someone, someone is your master. But my frens, that's actually something we should jealously guard... to serve God is really a priviledge and opportunity none of us should pass up. Imagine you are given the offer of maybe being the president's driver or the person who makes his coffee in the morning. how many of us would turn down the chance to? And when we do finally work, how many of us would give a half-hearted service to the president?
No my frens, we'd make the best coffee we can possibly make. maybe even throw a few cups away we felt weren't good enuf. We'd polish the car, we'd wax it, clean it, make sure the right air freshener was bought, the tires all pumped up shiny and ready for the VIP... when we drive, we'd pay attention to the president making conversation with us. we'd wear white gloves to drive and we'd drive with such care and concern, slowing down when we near turns, signal when changing lanes, keep within the speed limit.

NOW my frens i ask you. who's bigger? God or the president? yet, here we are... sitting in our little comfy lives, making half grade coffee, dirty tires, dusty windows.... how come we dun see the need to be our best for His best?

Let us be reminded of how God is much greater than we normally think he is and service is just proper response from Him saving us from death and hell. If you ask me, i'd never stop serving christ if there was a choice. And there is. :)

Youth Sunday Prep

I haven't been blogging and I guess it's coz everytime i came to this blogpost page, i just stone and don't know what to write. so i'll jus let thots flow as i type.

We've been putting quite a bit of prep into youth sunday this time around. We've met three times for rehearsals and stuff... it's quite fun i tell you, the choice of songs were [originally thot to be] quite boring and nothing new. However, when we did try it for the first time and we practiced with everything [musicians, choir, chairman, location] in... it was quite a good experience. even when there wasn't people around, i still felt like i was really worshipping God. even after a super super long day. I guess that's what they mean by getting into the zone or the mood... i felt like i was alone in the practice jus raising my voice to the Lord.

I'm putting up an item this time around. it's called Complete by Parachute Band. Abi.L and I are presenting it and I pray that God will be honoured and that we won't draw any attention to ourselves. After all, God is the one we're playing and singing for. Praying that God will grant us good voices and calmness of nerves esp for her coz it's not easy presenting an item. :)

Other than that, life's pretty much ok. 96days to ORD and it's crawling... ahha but it'll pass i guess. it seems like yesterday that i was enlisting [ok that's full of nonsense but yeh] and here i am, 3 months away. :) glad that God has REALLY seen me thru and blessed me so much thru these 2 years... God doesn't leave nor forsake us anytime... it's whether we pull away from Him or not.

May we be complete in Christ as we recognize who He is to us all.

100 days left

MWEHEHHHHEHEHE


sniff. :)

Rants

I wish that sometimes work wasn't so tough and dreary. I look forward to weekends like anything but when they come, they come and go. Maybe it's coz i dun fill the weekends enough to look forward to something or maybe it's just coz apart from service and meetings, I don't really have anyone to look forward to? hmm maybe. The people I want to be close to, don't let me in or don't bother to. When you tell people not to think twice about sharing with you, you normally mean it. But whatever, it's their life and not mine. I'm here, they're... whatever.

Youth sunday prep was good. Ben shared a really meaningful and necessary message. Too bad it's always the normal core group that comes. They aren't the ones who need to hear the stuff we say. It's those on the sidelines that really need the message brought to them. However, apart from that, i think youth sunday should be safe enough to pull off. Sadly though. Would have loved for more changes and more... omfph... but whatever. :)

Shawty got low....

103 days to ORD. I'm jus counting. Get me out of there.... Elections for YF Exco next year should be interesting. I was telling a youth on friday night that it's pretty sad what state the YF has become. When CCAs and other stuff take so much priority over God and YF that when it comes to elections time, we're beggin people. It shouldn't be this way. Why can't people just take ownership of the YF. [and here i speak to the general audience] is this some community club u just visit when it's convenient or when you can get membership benefits out of? Has the YF become something optional? Why won't you take ownership, step up and make changes? We try to help so much, we warn, we tell u we're here now to lead and guide you. We're not going to be here for long trust me. If this keeps up, i'm gonna have to push plans a little earlier than what should be coz well, if you don't/won't bother about the YF... why should we?
Don't be surprised if we all stop and the YF is left in your hands. Suddenly, you're the older youth. well missy, sir... you jolly well wake up and smell the roses coz they're gonna wither real soon and when they do, dun look back and go "aww man! if only we...." coz hun, it'll be too late.

So i've been sick for a week. voice is back but still coughing and can't hit them high registers but who cares la... it'll hopefully get better. Need to sleep soon coz i really do need the sleep. been pulling my hours recently trying to get things done on empty brain cells. Haiz. not very productive. Just glad there's no work from work to bring home. Everyday it gets left in the workshop... for the weekend to pass. Then we're back to fight fire... so a gearbox there, a clutch master pump here... we'll see. that's life for me now... at least for 103 more days. :)

grinz. ORD loh.

Today was wonderfully miraculous... As most of you know, i have no voice now and barely can form sentences without cracking up or totally being unaudiable for a short while... so i've been trying to keep my words to a minimum... but today, i felt better and my voice was slowly coming back... and just the right time too.

Worked with 3 other frens today on a vehicle and it was a pretty relaxing day la coz this time it was 4 people workin on a gearbox... yeh so we managed to have some time to just talk and i mainly kept trying to initiate conversation to get things moving so work wouldn't be so boring. Managed to learn much more than i knew about ET and Aaron... it was like quite a good time la.

then after tea break, i managed to swing the conversation topic to Christian issues and it was really an afternoon of them asking loads of questions related to christianity and all.. 'What are the differences between Catholics and Christians' [coz one of them was a Catholic... 'What is Trinity all bout' and 'How do u explain dinosaurs' and loads of stuff la...
But what i was mainly glad about was how i was able to bring in stuff bout the gospel into the topics... like who Jesus is and why He died.. :) so hopefully today was a successful 'seeding' or 'watering' of the gospel in their heads. :)

And then i realized that I should always be talkin God as much as I can la... so yeh, jus a reminder that God should be always on our mind, tongue and words. yup. Praise God for Him giving me voice enuf jus for that time. :)

BreakDancing Madness

Check dis out!



SO SUPER FUNKZ.

2 Days MC

So guess who finally got down to buying himself a new mouse? haha I did splurge on this mouse coz i normally dun spend too much money on myself. Gave myself a treat after convincing myself it's good money spent... I'll need it and since i use my com so much, it's better to buy a mouse that will last me and that i'll love. :) Voila! The Logitech Wireless Mouse v320! haha... it's got great functions and it looks jus oh-so-sexy. :) i love it to bits. haha
Still trying to get used to the fact that there's no more cord... but i'll get used to it soon. the size is smaller than the mouse i normally use too... but that's a good thing la. :)

Anyhoo, i'm at home now at 11.33am on a wednesday morning. why? well, i'm on 2 days MC coz i'm sick. Throat infection and headaches and stuff....felt really miserable today when i woke up and it wasn't hard to decide whether i should go work or not. i sat up and the world jus spun... i was like OK! i'm not going to work... lolz... Yup, so managed to go to the doc's today and she was real nice.. talked a bit and she ended up givin me 2 days of MC coz as a technician, it's really not good and safe to be semi-sick and workin in the workshop. yup.. so i get to take some time off to rest and catch up on things i've been putting off... like cleaning my table and applying for overseas uni. :)

Waiting for this saturday. Ultimate Frisbee can! wootz! haha...

If Jesus came to your house

Jesus came to your house to spend a day or two
If He came unexpectedly, I wonder what you’d do
Oh, I know you’d give your nicest Room to such an honored Guest
And all the food you’d serve to Him would be the very best,

And you’d keep assuring Him you’re glad to have Him there-
That serving Him in your home is joy beyond compare
But when you saw Him coming would you meet Him at the door
With arms outstretched in welcome to your Heavenly Visitor?

Or would you have to change your clothes before you let Him in
Or hide some magazines and put the Bibles where they’d been?
Would you turn off the radio and hope He hadn’t heard
And wish you hadn’t uttered that last, loud, hasty word?

Would you hide your worldly music And put some hymn books out?
Could you let Jesus walk right in, or would you rush about?
And I wonder - if the Savior spent a day or two with you,
Would you go right on doing the things you always do?

Would you keep right on saying the things you always say?
Would life for you continue as it does from day to day?
Would your family conversation keep up it’s usual pace,
And would you find it hard each meal to say a table grace?

Would you sing the words you sing and read the books you read
And let Him know the things on which your mind and spirit feed?
Would you take Jesus with you everywhere you’d planned to go?
Or would you maybe change your plans for just a day or so?

Would you be glad to have Him meet your very closest friends,
Or would you hope they’d stay away until His visit ends?
Would you be glad to have Him stay forever on and on,
Or would you sigh with great relief when He at last was gone?

It might be interesting to know the things that you would do
If Jesus Christ in person came to spend some time with you.

Author Unknown

Disappointed with Man

There are so many times when things don't go your way or when things aren't as you planned. There are occassions that just don't happen when they should have. And there are things that you expect from people that never come.

You expect something, something big, something small... But nothing comes. Nothing gets returned nothing gets offered. How many times do you have to keep trying to realize that it's only one hand trying its hardest to clap and make sound. But all it gets is air. You realize it's all been a lie from a long time ago yet you still hope, wish, something for a glimmer, a shimmer, a spec of hope. You get none, over and over and over again.

You invest time in someone to hope they will turn out well. You work on them, you spend time talking to them about the future trying your best to excite them just enough for them to stay on and carry that vision you have because you know you don't have much time left. And at the end, at crunch time when you thought the decision was set in stone, they turn and leave. They put other things above what you thought was so important. And they turn down your offer to help. You wonder in amazement to yourself how they don't take ownership. Amazing.

You made plans. It looked great, you pushed aside things just so that this event would happen. And then, the group says they'd rather do something else. You get stuck in a flurry of decisions not made just thrown up for suggestion. Indecisiveness prods you and mocks at how you now have everything crumble in front of you. Your afternoon just opened itself up to... to well, nothing. Thankfully something else is there for a back up net. You put something there coz this situation has happened too many times for you to go home sad again. Funny how even in the back of your mind, there's a backup plan. How you trust them.

Disappointment. Man, me, do it all the time. You wonder to yourself how much will you continue to endure? How many times will you be reminded that you're no one to them? How many chances will you give them and how many times will you step aside saying it's ok?
I Dunno bout you but it's wearing thin.

He is Risen

He is Risen.

'Nuff said.

Fired up for God + NearDeath Experience

There are times when you just wonder to yourself whether you're doing things right, whether what you're doing is going to count for eternity and whether whatever you're doing is enough. But what we do is NEVER enough. don't you get it? We can never repay what Christ did for us.

That's what i remembered this week during Good Friday. His sacrifice was not only once and for all but it's something we can never even think we can ever repay. Even if we die for Him, that still wouldn't be enough. We can't live a life of sin then at the last moment [even if we DID have prior knowledge of when it'll end or how long we have] die for Him and expect to end up in Heaven. It just doesn't work that way. He demands us to have a life of pure sacrifice and a life lived for Him.

That's my next point i guess. Surrender. Surrender isn't partial, it isn't pick-and-choose. it's Ultimate, Complete, Whole surrender. You can not keep anything behind and say you've surrendered sumthing. When armies surrender, they don't keep a small resistance force. They don't demand a portion of the land when they surrender. When people/armies surrender, it's complete. The whole territory, the whole rule of a country and for us, our whole life; Every component of it.


Now, God died for you, what will u do for Him?

Today I almost fell to my death. No, I wish I was kidding, but I'm not. I was repairing the sanctuary stage ceiling lightbulb with B.Tsao for the Easter skit. I scaled the ladder all the way to the top and was unscrewing the old bulb from the bulb holder when i leaned out and semi-pushed myself off the wall to get a better angle. I lost balance coz i was leaning out and the ladder shook outwards and so did my body. I looked down and immediately swung myself back inwards holding on to the ladder for dear life even though the ladder itself was swaying. B.Tsao below grabbed on and tried his best to get the ladder to stabilize itself. Once the whole swaying was done, we both were stunned beyond silence and I just laughed away the adrenaline of almost falling although my heart was trying to get its normal beat back. We both realized after that if i did fall, there was no possible way he would have been able to catch me so i'd have either broken some limb really badly or died if i had fallen from that height.

On the way home just now i was thinking of how close i could have come to dying. I recalled everyone important to me and what i did or said last to them. it was scary. to think that what i said to them could have been my last. I'd have celebrated Qiang's 21st birthday and died the very next day. Stuff flooded my mind and then i realized, this is Good Friday week. someone DID die around this time. Jesus Christ, God's Son, gave His life willingly for us. I realized I had been pretty selfish asking myself whether i was ready to die when Jesus died FOR me, for you, for the world.

Gearbox in a day

Today was pretty ok. there were 2 people working in my section and the two of us managed to put a gearbox back into a vehicle. maybe that doesn't sound impressive but a gearbox is prob the size of a oven. weighs about 30kg? or a bit less maybe and can sumtimes take a day to get in alignment. Frankly, i felt quite accomplished that the two/three [coz one came to help later on] of us managed to get the gearbox, prepare it to be put in, raised it with a crane, lowered it into position and managed to get the biting point to finally slot it in nicely to fit the rest of the gearboxes and engine components of the vehicle.

i was quite happy. it wasn't fully finished coz there were some propeller shafts that were still not fully attached.. but hey, i thot we managed to do quite a big task today. :) shag like hell la coz it was real hard.. but it's only when u get shagged like hell days that you begin to realize how far you've come since the 'eww oil!!!' days of Trainees. :) so what if i've got 4months more to ord... the fact is that i've been doing this line of work for the past 1 and a half years... and that's what i'd never have done if i were a clerk. :)

so that's kinda my day. hoping i won't be sian-ed tomolo. need to stay motivated to work otherwise feet get a bit draggy. :)

watched The Arena jus now... been dying to catch it but last week i had an invited guest over for dinner so had to give it a miss... but today, it was Global Indian International School against Jurong Sec... wowz... fiery battle can. i wish i had taken up debating in sec sch. i did try but there wasn't enuf interest for the 'cca' to stay alive so it kinda simmered down after a while... i love to talk about current affairs/social issues... but i dunno whether i've lost my eloquence over the past years... sad to say, it's not all about how u speak but what u speak. without content, even the most immaculate speech can fall flat on it's face if not backed up with solid, compelling and well delivered content. Just my 2cents worth on debates. but all in all, i'm glad jurong took home the win. the last speaker was SO much like hello kitty and her smile, DAGGERS! but she delivered some really good points that were so great it jus made the Indian girl look bad. Wonderful show. loves its to bits. haha

Summary of 17th March 2008. One day away from 4months-till-ORD. :)

My New Desktop Wallpaper

Check out my new desktop wallpaper!


Heh. today was great... amazingly fun. i knew it'll be fun to get to know more people and esp from the BP circle but wow. today was real cool. wanna do it again soon. :) The talk by C.Chong was excellent. really really engaging and humourous... So many people turned up too! Just from our side, we had 24 people. wowz!
After the talk, we had captain's ball and dinner which was really fun too. haven't played captain's ball seriously in a long time. :)

Today was great. made new friends, learnt much about science and God and all within a day. :)
check out the post at shalomyf.blogspot.com
alternatively, u can check out Josiah's facebook photo album. :)

Poor Polar Bear

Oh Gosh! this is so funny. poor guy.

More time

I wish I had more time. coming home everyday late, feeling so shagged out.

NISS is suffering. I wish I had more time. Or at least, i wish i spent my time wisely on God rather than on man.

Mobilization Weekend

Sometimes i wish things weren't so complicated and things were straight forward.

This weekend was my mobilization week. that meant that at any time of the day i could be activated and within the next 4 hours, i had to be back in camp ready to attack and fight a war. It was quite exciting coz it's like, you really gotta be ready.

I personally feared that i could be activated halfway throughout YF or Church. My officers told me that normally the time to activate the people would be 10am... and we haven't [as a company] been activated in quite a long time so we're kinda due for an activation. Then at 10.05am, my phone vibrated in my pocket. My heart stopped and i jus inhaled like half the air in the Sanctuary. Took out my phone and it was a message from A.Lai. I was SUPER relieved la... i was like OH SHEET OH SHEET OH SHEET! haha... but thank God that i had an uneventful and unmobilized weekend. :S

However, it made me think. I shared during CE class about how we must always be prepared to give an answer to any man that asks of our faith. It's jus like mobilization. Once the button is pressed, we must be ready to fight the war coz if we aren't, then the country would suffer. Likewise, we must get our weapons [bible knowledge] ready and we ourselves must be ready because the enemy [Satan] will attack at any time when we least expect it. When the button is pressed, are we ready to defend God, our faith and the things we believe in? Or will be slowly take our time to reach the enemy and fight with weapons that aren't sharp, aren't current and aren't relevant. Will we lose and bring down the name of God jus because we weren't actively ready?

Yup. jus a quick sharing la. I'm uber tired now and i HAVE to get to sleep coz there's work tml again. yup. unending... so i'll catch ya guys around yeh? :)

Sometimes i wish life was easy. Life is easy, what's wrong with me.

Sharing Sorrows

Sorry to dump that on you guys. I didn't mean to get the mood down and stuff but since B.Tsao asked, i shared. hope that it didn't affect you guys so much. My problems should stay my problems la. thanks for listening though. I'm glad for this Exco.

I think i'd just rather be alone on this issue. :)